Weddingbee boards

Some time ago, I asked my son (J) whether his fiancée's (K's) parents knew that I was gay. He responded that K's mother (L) had seen our wedding photos, so she must know.

I sent a Facebook message the other day to L. It said something like, "We're so happy our kids are getting married. Please let me know if you want to coordinate dresses or something."

Apparently, L then looked at my wedding pictures a little more closely. She called K up, and the following conversation ensued:

L: Why didn't you tell me J's mother is gay?
K: Didn't you notice the two women in long white dresses in the wedding pictures?
L: I figured those were the bride and the maid of honor.
K: But didn't you wonder why the bride and the maid of honor were kissing?
L: I meant to ask you about that--whether it was some kind of strange Jewish tradition.

J and K's wedding may be very interesting indeed! LOL

Lol, wow...

I went out shopping with my dad last year before christmas, and I ran into a teacher I had in high school and she was with her partner, we stopped and said hello and I had never met her partner (but my teacher talked about her during our GSA club--which my dad didn't know I was part of).  Anyways, after we were heading out, my dad said something about "was that her sister? or someone else?" clearly implying he thought it wasn't her sister and I told him it was her partner.  My dad is very anti-gay rights and so it was kind of interesting to see how he reacted which was surprising, he didn't get angry or anything.  He was like "oh. okay then."

I guess my story wasn't about my dad being clueless. Sorry :/

@Miss Peach Tree:  Well, it appears that both of the bride's parents are homophobic.  Her mother is too polite to make nasty comments.  However, my son and the bride both wanted to make sure that the bride's father was aware of the situation before the wedding day.  If the father learned about my being gay for the first time on the wedding day, apparently he might cause a scene at the weddding.  Sigh!

@scissors:  I'm kind of wondering about that, too.  The only males in the photos were my son and the rabbi.  I'm wondering whether she thought there was also a strange Jewish tradition of keeping the groom on ice in the back?

@MadameLady:  In the beginning, I thought I was going to go for a dress that wasn't white or ivory.  It just seemed like it would be too hard to match two wedding dresses, so it might be better to have them in deliberately different colors.  Fortunately, we found a wonderful bridal salon in which the owner helped us find two dresses that were not identical, but looked like they were intended to be coordinating.

@mundaetraversa:  Well, with the brides' parents being Christians from Indonesia, I suspect there will be quite enough cultural confusion without my deliberately creating any. 

@tksjewelry:  I'm hoping that with the bride's parents the other side of the country from us, we won't have to deal with their holidays.  And from what I can see, the couple is likely to use any excuse to avoid dealing with her parents, too.

@MissHelen:  I suspect we'll already have them intimidated enough without that.  Son and his FI have decided that they will invite all of his side of the family to the wedding and reception, but only her immediate family.  Then they will have a large reception out in Washington State for her (very large) family.  So if her parents are outnumbered by about 80 to 2, we think they will be inclined to keep very quiet.  And then my "strange Jewish traditions" can provide conversational fodder for the gathering in Washington State. 

@oracle:  True.  While she would likely have been polite even if she had discovered this only at the wedding, her husband might well have caused a scene.  At least now, she can work on putting a leash on him before the wedding.

Hah hah! That's too funny! : D

@MsInterpret:  Both NotFroofy and I are also "too feminine" to be seen as lesbians by many people.  I have actually had some conversations with a gay male friend of mine about the prevailing assumption that any lesbian has to look "masculine," and any gay guy has to look "feminine."  I am of the view that if I were looking for someone "masculine," I would know where to find men, and he's of a similar opinion when it comes to finding "feminine" people.  He kind of sees it as the two of us not fitting in with the LGBTQ community because we have previously been in straight relationships.

I do wonder whether mannerisms associated with the opposite gender are something that people who have never been interested in straight relationships develop as a way of letting potential partners know that they are open to lesbian/gay relationships.  The down side of it seems to be that for those interested in the butch/femme dynamic, there are a lot more butch women looking for femmes than vice versa.

@lovingu4ever08:  My "favorite" comment during the wedding planning process was one vendor who asked, "So why are two such good friends getting married on the same day?"  Oh, wow, where do I start?

@paw:  The "what to call them" thing always gets to me.  We are married.  Thus, she is my wife, and I am hers.  How hard can that be?

I do not even want to think of what my son would say if asked about my sex life.  His official position is that I am still a virgin, notwithstanding his existence.  ;-)

@bellagio:  One of the funniest stories I've heard was when my daughter was applying to one midwifery school.  Some of the prospective students at one of the schools were acting really horrified about any sex that wasn't totally mainstream--gay, mildly kinky, etc.  My daughter's reaction was, "Lesbianism just isn't all that outrageous--I mean, my mom is a lesbian."  Clearly, if a mom does it, it must be totally boring.  ;-)