(Closed) Seriously???? THAT’S Your Excuse?!?!?!?!?!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Ms Hedgehog:Well, maybe there’s something else going on. Maybe there are personal/marital issues happening. Who knows. Not really sure why this would “destroy” their relationship though. Is this uncharacteristic behavior of the uncle, or does he do this a lot? I mean it sucks, but sometimes people have personal issues going on.

 

Post # 4
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Destroying a relationship because someone doesn’t travel a pretty good distance to come to your wedding is kind of extreme. I think a lot of women forget their wedding is not the center of everyone’s universe.

Post # 5
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah, why is it going to destroy the relationship? I mean being a bit upset about it maybe, but I don’t think it should be that severe. You never know what’s really going on in other people’s lives.

Post # 6
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

He probably has no idea that this really affects his nephew. I would have your FI call him and ask him why he can’t go. And if he uses that lame excuse, then he should say ‘Well, I see how important I am to you!’ 

I mean, that’s just rediculous.

Post # 7
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t want to come off as mean, but they don’t really owe you an explanation as to why they can’t come to the wedding. Their “no” RSVP should have been enough. There could be so many other things going on…I don’t think that you should ruin your FI’s relationship with his uncle b/c he decided not to come to your wedding.

Post # 8
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m asking a lot of my guests to travel for my wedding. I know it can be upsetting when someone you feel very close with says they aren’t coming and you really don’t agree with there reasoning but its kind of something you just have to accept. My uncle isn’t coming to my wedding which surprised me considering he traveled 3 times this year to visit 2 different cousins (graduations and just a visit). He’s known about my wedding but obviously he felt it wasn’t that important. He still has not told me directly that he’s not coming (he’s only told my aunts/uncles) which really upsets me most. Him not coming to my wedding though does not make me think any less of him.

Post # 9
Member
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs Hedgehog: I think you might need to calm down a little. So they can’t come to the wedding. Who are you to judge on their choices?

Post # 10
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Maybe he is really upset about the Cowboys recent personell decisions?

Seriously, that’s the worst excuse I’ve heard in a long time.  There must be something else going on that he doesn’t want to share.  Something else that weekend that he feels the need to be secretive about, or Serious Family Drama.  Your fiance can try to talk to him directly, or you can just let it go and assume there’s something serious.  I’m a little confused as to why FMIL is setting a “rate” for not going, though…

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

We have something similar happening, so I’d just let it go.

One of FI’s uncles is not coming to the wedding because the REFUSE to travel any way other than RV and the REFUSE to stay in hotels (will only stay in their RV).

The drive from FL to ME is too long and there are no trailer parks close enough to the wedding so they will not even consider coming.

I’m sad because I’ve never met them and FI really likes them, but what can you do?

Some people are just strange.

Post # 12
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@KatyElle: AMEN.

Post # 14
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs Hedgehog:  Does he or his wife have some sort of social anxiety disorder?  It sounds like he’s always making excuses to get out of family events, which makes me think there’s some major tension with someone in the family or either one of them gets really uncomfortable in situations like that.

Post # 15
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs Hedgehog: Maybe they really don’t like social situations? Or have beef with some other members of the family and they try to avoid seeing them? Or maybe one of them has trouble with alcohol but doesn’t want others in the family to know?

If your FI is really close, maybe he can reach out to his uncle and talk to him. Tell him how much it would mean to him if they could come and that he was really surprised (and a little hurt) to get their “no” RSVP.

Also he could check in with them and ask if something else is going on.

Post # 16
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’ve just learned that once someone burns me enough times, the only person who ends up getting hurt in expecting them to change their behavior is me.

My FIL did not show up to the birth of DH and I’s daughter because he was taking a road trip to see a ball game. But since he never made himself available during any other important events, I just thought “His loss” and moved on with life. Sounds like it would save you both some frustration to do the same. You can’t change people.

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