Post # 1
My bridal shower was yesterday (amazing, btw), there was lots of food & tons of sweets including a candy bar, dessert table & a humongo cake. When all was said and done and people were leaving my mom told everyone to get a bag (the small cello kind) & serve themselves candy from the candy bar. Everyone also got a small box that had a truffle in it. So what do people do? Start filling bags & bags & BAGS of candy to take home! I could not believe it. At one point one woman decided she was not getting enough w/ the scoops, so she stuck her hands in the jars and was just grabbing candy by the handful…wtf?!
Now comes the food rant- My mom was making plates for certain people to take home (like my grandma for her & my grandpa to eat today). I guess some people saw this as an opportunity to take a plate home to everyone in their freaking families. One Bridesmaid or Best Man, without asking, made her husband a huge plate of food; and after sitting there for a while goes, “Oh, I guess I should make myself a plate too.” I asked her who her FIRST plate of food was for to which she responds, “Hubby”…*jaw dropping*. So she gets another big ass plate of food & obviously sees nothing wrong w/ this. If I wanted to feed him, I would have INVITED him to eat.
As people were leaving w/ their plateS of cake, cookies, boxes of truffles, candy galor…I’m just wondering, wtf is wrong w/ people?! Do people seriously not have any common deceny, sense or respect for others?? SOME of this stuff was obviously there for them to take home & enjoy. I do admit we had a bit left, so of course I don’t mind. But when a Bridesmaid or Best Man & others start piling food on plates (without asking!), and people take BAGS of stuff home, I start to have a problem. Not to mention, I did not pay for this shower so it’s embarrassing to me that people treat this as a free for all. Is this just me? Am I being stingy? Are people just being ridiculous? Wth is going on…
Post # 3
i personally would never do that. but dont get yourself worked up over it, what else would you have done with the food anyway?
Post # 4
The question I wonder about is whether or not the host/hostess saw this as rude – or did she mean for people to take things as leftovers?
Post # 5
Some people honestly don’t know any better and others do know better but simply don’t care. The world is full of folks like that but they don’t make up the majority of the population. At this point, there isn’t anything you can do since it’s over and done with. Lesson learned for next time: don’t invite these people who have no respect for anyone other than themselves.
Post # 6
That is pretty common in my family. We often laugh at those people and say, “There goes such and such always trying to get a togo plate”. lol Some people have no manners. I do think it was odd for the lady to put her hands in the candy jars. That was nasty!
Post # 7
I do admit we had a bit left, so of course I don’t mind. But when a Bridesmaid or Best Man & others start piling food on plates (without asking!), and people take BAGS of stuff home, I start to have a problem.
While I agree people should considerate of other’s and not take stuff that isn’t for themselves (for exmaple that Bridesmaid or Best Man taking food for her husband), your two statements contradicted one another? You had stuff left, but you’re upset people took stuff? I mean, unless you were planning on saving some of it for something else or giving it to people who weren’t able to show, I don’t understand why you’re upset. Again, I do think that piling on food and taking more than their share is definitely rude. And I echo the previous poster to not invite those who took more than their share in the future.
Post # 8
What some people see as rude others see as perfectly acceptable.
It depends on their experience and background.
In a similar vein, some people use language I would never think of as acceptable, particularly in public.
I can’t control their actions any more than you can control the actions of the guests at your shower.
Post # 9
Wow. that is a bit strange, seeing women all grabby and getting every last bit of freebie candy like that.
But…it is a recession, and I’d just chalk it up to maybe them not buying stuff like that for themselves at home?
In wierd economic times, I wouldn’t be surprised at anything people would not do anymore.
I have heard from a few fellow brides that it is now somewhat common to not expect a present from somebody you send an invite to who cannot come. I had two like that.
At our reception, we had several people take several bags of our chocolate, but that was fine w/me. It was meant to be eaten, and I still had a few bags left over for us to enjoy after all was said and done.
Heck, I have written about when I married my ex, how some of my relatives had carried off the 100$ plus (about 15 years ago cost then) centerpieces like they had a right to do that. Now to me, that was shocking.
I know if it were me, I’m not going to loot a free candy bar. Just not the best of taste to do that at any party or reception.
Post # 10
Should have been more choosy as to who you ask for BM’s…hehehehe….jk
Post # 11
@christalynn11: This was a shower hosted by family & friends. Yes, family & close friends also saw this as strange & rude.
@beekiss2: Again, there was stuff left so I didn’t mind people taking stuff home. More than anything I’m baffled as to why people things it’s okay to take ridiculous amounts of stuff home. There’s a huge difference between a bag, maybe 2, of candy…but 5 or 6?? Or 2 huge plates of food?? Come on.
To answer a couple of people who asked this, we asked a couple of others to come eat afterwards. Fiance, my dad, Future Father-In-Law, an uncle, a cousin & 3 family friends were invited over later in the evening to eat so it definitely wasn’t like anything was going to waste. I guess I just see it as an issue that people just do not have common sense & courtesy.
@Kitty Kat: Oh my goodness, we’re not even going to go there, lol. Because yes, I should have used more discretion w/ choosing Bridesmaid or Best Man. This post does not even begin to cover it!
Post # 12
I think if they had asked first, it would’ve been okay. Especially since you were going to have food left over. But just barging in and filling up a plate without asking first, I would agree that is rude. Some folks just don’t have any sense of common courtesy anymore. 🙂
Post # 13
The candy bar situation sounds like a pretty commonly occuring candy bar experience – I feel like I see that on the boards constantly.
As for making plates, unless your mom hosted, I don’t see a big difference in her making a plate for someone not there and another guest making a plate for someone not there. If your mom hosted, it would have been more polite for her to wait until guests were gone to make plates/put food away, IMO.
Post # 14
@daydreamwanderer: It’s a common situation to take bags of stuff home? Really?? I have never been to an event where there is a candy bar, so I guess I really don’t know. Even though this shower was for me, I still only took ONE bag. Seeing as my mom paid for the food, she can choose who to make a plate for. If someone is leaving and she chooses to give them food, how exactly is that impolite? So you’re saying if you were a guest in someone elses home & you saw a family member (who was hosting) make a plate you would totally think it was okay to makes plates for yourself & your husband? Hhhmmm…
Post # 15
I think this could kinda go either way. You have lots of food leftover and you start packing it up for guests. This “somewhat” gives guests the appearance that you are welcoming them to take food home. I agree they shouldn’t be greedy, but it sounds like there was a lot left.
Post # 16
I think it just depends on where I am for if I’m going to take plates of leftovers home. If I don’t know the person, I would only do so if they asked me if I wanted some. But if I’m close to the people and their good friends of my family, they have a history of asking me to take home leftovers so now it’s just known that it’s ok and expected.
Either way, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It’s done with, and you had a nice shower.