Post # 1
So my BM MJ, who was giving me a hard time the day of the bridesmaids dress shopping with rude comments and all that – after apologizing and turing over a new leaf, has flipped that leaf right back over and is on the "Annoyance Train" again!
I’m online looking for cheap shoes for the girls. MJ’s have to be low low heels or flats due to how much taller she is then the rest of the girls. So I found shoes for the first 4, and then a pair for MJ, which I OFFERED TO PAY FOR, even though they are only $15 – I know she’s having money trouble – and even though I am too, I’d rather fork over the $15 then deal with the issues of her complaining….well I guess offering to pay for them wasn’t enough to keep her from from being difficult.
She won’t give me her shoe size!
She says she needs to try them on. So she asks for a store to go to. Well, duh they are online you can’t go to a store to find these. (www.6pm.com) Well I’m sure you could but honestly…I’m not searching the net to find a place to go to – then have her complain about how much gas it will take to get there…and she will trust me. She tried saying that she’ll only go to the dress shop I picked for the BM dress if I could agree to go with her to all her fittings, and she would drive to my house and I would drive the rest of the way – uh no, I have a 3 yuear old with activities and a home to run…..not going to happen.
I tell her that she’s going to have to make an exception, since I’m buying them and there are ubber cheap on this site (regular over $50) and just remember she only has to have them on for like an hour then she can chuck them. Plus they are like nothing compared to most dress shoes, they are low and nice.
She proceeds to tell me that she has a pair a lot like them in the back of her closet and will dig them out tomorrow and tell me the size on them.
Who doens’t know their shoe size?!
So I e-mail her back and tell her I’m really hurt that I offer to do this for her and she meets me with resistance all the time. I feel like I have to pay for everything for her for this wedding. And then she still comes off like she’s doing me this huge favor.
UGH I should have let her back out when she wanted to, before she chaged her mind (during the same phone call) and wanted to stay back in. She wanted out because of finacial reasons. Stupid me for talking to her about it long enough for her to change her mind.
Post # 3
Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear that. I have one question: Was she like this before you asked her to be in your wedding? Reason why I’m asking is b/c I too have a friend like that. We all have financial issues but she really pushes it to the max. Like if the waiter or waitress didn’t come check up on us enough times she slowly take away from their tip. Everything that came out of her mouth was negative. She’s a really nice person but IDK something happened and she acts differently. When I mentioned I was engaged she was so excited for me. But then she started bad mouthing everything that had to do with weddings. Just think I was going to ask her to be in my wedding. I might include her by asking her to do a reading. She writes poetry sometimes. Maybe you can find something else for your friend to do at your wedding. She can wear whatever she has in her closest that’s wedding appropriate. Is she a close friend? After she decided she still wanted to be in the wedding did she still show resistance? It’s easy for us to say chuck her but we don’t know your relationship. I don’t want you to stress out. $15 bucks for a pair of shoes??? What a deal! Thanks for website I’ll dif. check it out. gLuck Sweeney!
Post # 4
Yeah she’s a pretty good friend and a strong soul – like me but the oppiostie reasons….lol So we butt heads a lot. I take it with a grain of salt but every now and then whenI realize I actaully am being rational…I want to smack her in the forehead like those v-8 comercials for being a stupid "blankity blank".
My God why make everything so difficult. How stressful her life must be…you know?
I can’t boot her right now, I just need to get her to realize that sometimes she should go complain to someone else other then me. I don’t even know that she realizes she is complainging. I think she thinkgs she’s just "talking" about stuff…..negitive nelly – that’s what I should call her.
Post # 5
Lol… Hopefully she’ll realize that you’re wedding is a big deal to you. What you don’t need right now is a BM stressing you out. Or anything for that matter. I not only get to be a bride this year but the month before my wedding I’m going to be a BM as well. I’l looking at dresses for me, my BMs and another one for my friend’s wedding. When she asked me to be in her wedding I felt honored. This is a big deal and I knew how much it meant to her to get married. Is she single? Maybe feeling bad that she’s not in the same boat as you?
Post # 6
If it’s going to be that big of a deal, can she just wear her own shoes that are similar? Maybe she doesn’t want to wear flats or maybe she feels uncomfortable having you pay for them? I understand that maybe she’s being irrational, but it seems like the path of least resistance is to let her wear her own shoes in this case.