(Closed) Set my date- am I a jerk?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2282 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Not too close. A month apart is fine.

Post # 4
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

I think it is fine. However if you and your cousin are close I would give him a call and letting him know, and not wait for him to find out. 

Post # 5
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would talk to your cousin and his fiance and get their take on it if you are worried.

Friends of mine set their date a month before mine. We have mutual friends and we ran into some scheduling problems with the shower and bachelorette parties. It’s important that you coordinate with them to make sure that you don’t step on their toes a bit. In my case, my shower is not a surprise and her shower is. They tried to schedule her shower on the same day and mine has been planned since before they even got engaged and one of my bridesmaids is flying from Texas with her family to be here. Now my friends is the day after and she has no idea what kind of trouble her FI caused.

But, the planning time is about right to do it in June of next year. I felt like they were rushing to get married before us, actually the guy told me when I got engaged that he wanted to get married before me. We had 13 months to plan and they had 6 months.

I’m sure if you talk to them and keep this in mind they will be fine with it! 🙂

You don’t have a lot of out of town family that you share do you? If so, you might run into problems with them having to travel twice in a summer.

Just some food for thought.   

Post # 6
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just make sure you talk to your cousin.  It’s probably not a huge deal but if mutual family members need to fly in for both weddings — it’s a big no no in my opinion.  You don’t want people showing up to yours and his wedding (which was planned first) to get put on the back burner.  That would personally tick me off.  But that’s only if you have family members that need to come from a long way.

Post # 7
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think it’s fine. If people have to travel, yes – they could feel like they have to choose between the two or attend neither. However, what’s the other option? If you want a summer wedding, surely no one would expect you to wait until 2014, a whole additional year. And moving it to August or even early September really doesn’t solve the original issue, because some people may still feel like they had to choose for time or budget reasons, and whether yours is before or after doesn’t relieve that.

Summers are wedding bonanzas. Unless you’re willing to move it into an entirely different season, I don’t see that there’s anything that will relieve possible conflicts for people. I DO think that calling your cousin and letting him know in a really nice way is a good plan so he hears it from you. I don’t think that you should let it get to you if he’s upset or consider changing your date.

Post # 8
Member
6249 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

One month apart doesn’t seem like you are encroaching on their wedding.  Just explain why you had to choose that date.

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