Post # 1
We got engaged last New Year’s Eve (2012) and enjoyed the fun/no pressure engaged phase for a month or so. Then came the talk about planning and setting a date. He was ready to go and wanted to get married this September (we’d be married now if it were just up to him. Wierd to think about). Thinking about the planning, time, and resources that go into the kind of wedding I want and the fact that I was then unemployed, decided we should wait until I found a job.
Well, job has been found and FI is talking about dates again. However, instaed of lightening my load, my job is only adding more stress to the pressure cooker. I am a first year teacher. This will pretty much be the most difficult and stressful time of my career. Thinking about planning a wedding next year makes me want to cry! One part of me would love to just focus on surviving my probation period and postone the wedding to 2014.
Another part of me thinks that that is too long of an engagement for us. We will be looking at over 2 years and neither of us is getting younger…especially him:) and we’d like to have children. But I want to enjoy the planning period and not have it feel like a burden. Still, I don’t want to keep him dragging along waitng for the “perfect time” to get married (The Five Year Engagement comes to mind). Is there ever a perfect time to plan a wedding?
Post # 3
@PamelaBrit: Hey! I sympathize… I’m a HS teacher and my first year was super hectic. I lost my grandmother that year too. We got engaged last December and are to be married this December. I honestly got my planning done about a month and a half ago before school started! We had the venue booked and I bought my dress well in January.. but the details were decided on right before I went back to work. I also did a LOT of DIY projects- invites, flowers, etc… over my summer break. I’m still stressed though… taking on another prep that I’ve never taught :/ and coaching cheer. Which means after school practices and football games + HS girl drama. I don’t know if there’s a truly RIGHT time, but honestly I didn’t want to be engaged forever. Planning with 4 months left was actually kind of a blessing because I haven’t been able to second guess my decisions. Good luck! Hope your school year is going well! 🙂
ETA: I should say that I’m on my 3rd year! So grateful to have a job and it’s rewarding…but it’s a very taxing job!
Post # 4
hmm. maybe do a small wedding or try to see if your FI is willing to chip in a lot on the planning? i kind of feel like no matter hwen you pick, you’ll never know if something’s going to come up/.
Post # 5
@PamelaBrit: Seriously, you can do it. I only got seriously going last Thursday and I’ve got most of mine done already.
Granted, I only have 80 guests, and I’m doing this for the second time although I really didn’t do much the first time, and I have organized special events as part of my job function.
If you need any help, feel free to message me. I’m happy to help in any way I can 🙂
Post # 6
I second the intimate wedding idea, or I would look into hiring a wedding planner. Let someone else deal with the majority of the stress of your wedding so you can work and still enjoy picking your dress, etc. If you keep pushing it back, I think you will be unhappy. It’s ultimately up to you, though!
Post # 7
I planned in nine months flat with a 146 person guest list and a fair bit of diy. Honestly, planning a wedding wasn’t that much of a time suck. I’d say we spent two weekends looking for a venue, 4 nights worth of tv watching making invites, 3 days dress shopping, and maybe another 40 hours over the course of our engagement doin random odds and ends. I took the last week off work thinking I’d have tons of stuff to do, and ended up just having out with my bridesmaids and family around the pool most of the time.
Id plan for maybe a month into summer holidays if you’re a teacher and that should be more than enough time!
Post # 8
Don’t put off the planning, set a date now but give yourself a “longer” period of time. Say, set the date a year and a half away rather than just one year. That way hopefully the planning will space out some more and not have you as stressed.
I’m sure you’ll find your grove with work and be able to plan as well. Remember, you are planning your wedding! It can be fun too!
There is no perfect time to plan, so do it now. You don’t want to put of planning for ages and then be in a rush to have kids later on.
Post # 9
I have been unemployed and planning my wedding (was not when I started) I did not hire a wedding planner but apperently most of the time they can save you more money than they cost because they get discounts from vendors that they are able to book regularly. This may take some of the stress off of you. Good luck in the new job!
Post # 10
I didn’t vote because I think you should proceed with the wedding but hire a planner, it may feel like a lot of money, but it will get you the wedding you want at the time you want it, while allowing you to focus on your work!
Post # 11
I agree with PPs- I planned our 150-person wedding in 6 months while writing a graduate thesis and taking classes. I vote you start planning now, be decisive, and just get it done.
Post # 12
I would just set a date and plan it — like you say, you don’t want to end up with the 5-year engagement!
You will always be busy, and wedding planning will always, no matter when you do it, add just a leeetle bit of extra stress to you life.
My DH is a teacher, I’m a researcher, and we planned our 130-person wedding in less than 5 months (and for 1 of those months, I was in Rwanda).
My greatest piece of advice if you’re planning a wedding and you don’t have a ton of extra time to devote to it — once you make a decision about something, stop thinking about it! Move on to the next thing on your list. I’ve seen so many of my friends get hung up second-guessing themselves, and this really adds to their stress.
Good luck — and just go for it!
Post # 13
Wow ladies, not the response I was secretly hoping for but definately the kick in the pants I need to take a deep breath and plunge into this. Thanks! Looks like I’ve got a busy year ahead 🙂
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Planning a wedding isonly as stressful as you let it be. Seriously, there really doesn’t need to be this huge black cloud over the process. And there will NEVER be a “perfect time”.
If you keep waiting for your life to begin, you’re going to miss all the fun!
Post # 15
Ours was planned in 9 months, with a new job, a house reno that we DIY’d ourselves and did most of the wedding details DIY as well with lots of travel for my job and another family wedding in there too. It’s only as complicated as you make it, and don’t get too caught up in drama or detail.
Enjoy the next year 🙂