- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
Maybe I was in the wrong to begin with. Yes, yes.
I ASSumed that if people love us, they will make a way to join us for our Friday wedding. Apparently, this is NOT the case. Not because she doesn’t love me, but because she owns her own business with her brother, and if one of them leaves early, the other has to stay and close the shop. So if she goes to my wedding, my uncle cannot. Basically, they would inconvenience their customers and lose lots of money by closing up shop on a Friday.
I definitely want them to both be at our wedding, but it made me so mad that she had her own comments and reactions that I wasn’t expecting. I was so excited to have booked a venue and told her we secured our venue and set our date. She asked us what day of the week it was, and we told her Friday. Immediately she said we have to move it to a Saturday. She also asked us why we chose Friday. We told her it was so that we could save money, and since most of our guests will be from out of town, they will probably be visiting us for a week anyway, and people can enjoy their Saturday and Sunday before heading back to their homes. As soon as we mentioned that our biggest reason for choosing a Friday was because it was thousands of dollars cheaper, she said, I’ll pay the extra for you guys, just move it to Saturday. I was so upset. I told her, money doesn’t solve everything. My Fiance and I are paying for the whole wedding, with the intention of not letting anyone else pay so that we can control our wedding. My mom has so many opinions and wants to make things nicer, and nicer = expensive.
This is so frustrating.
I KNOW I should have asked her if the date worked for her before I set it, but I figured, it should be fine.
Most likely, FI and I will be moving date to Saturday and will have to pay 2.5K more for venue fee. I guess I can kiss my videographer good bye….
I am so up to my eyeballs with her comments and opinions, I don’t even want to talk to her, or see her. I told her I just need her to show up to the wedding, and that I don’t need her opinions unless I ask for it. She is chalk full of comments and opinions, it is the MOST stressfull part of being engaged and planning my wedding. I broke down and told her all this about how I am feeling, and all she could say is that “What are mothers for?” and that I am being a horrible daughter for not wanting to hear her out and “negotiate things”. WTF is there to negotiate? This is not her wedding. So peeved.
a few things she has said that has driven me up the wall:
- you should have a person of importance officate your wedding, like the mayor or police chief, of famous local asian baseball player
- FI should wear a black tuxedo with white shirt and black tie (mind you this is for a summer outdoor wedding, and we are more into modern slim fit suit with a tie to match our wedding colors)
- FI has to wear contact lenses (even thought he never has or will own a pair in his life)
- Mom and I went to a wedding recently, and she comments on the cake, how it is nothing special and expects a nice cake for me
- i have to wear platform heeled shoes since i am short and fi is tall (i can’t bear to wear heels over 3.5″, and definitely don’t want platforms to wear)
- Isn’t it going to be too hot? (for a summer wedding)I feel like, what am i supposed to do if it is hot? Change it to a fall wedding? Blast the AC, sure I can do this.
- AND other stuff regarding engagement lunch, which she was disappointed in, because we chose a bad day or weekend (but then she was too busy the other days golfing, and my sister, who is out of town was in town and didn’t want to postpone it until later this summer, when sister would be permanently back intown, because it would be too late) UGH!!!
I know what ya’ll are thinking, just humor her, listen and let it go in one ear and out the other, and i know this, but i am so sick and tired of her my patience has run out. I will hope and try to contain myself, or maybe just avoid her for as long as I can until this phase is passed. Thanks for listening….