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It was hard to resist the urge to start planning the wedding before I had a ring. But I guess since my DH dragged his feet so much about the whole engagement thing, I was focused on getting him to propose in the first place so that distracted me a little.
I think it's best to decide on the wedding details together anyway. Calling all the shots (venue, photog, flowers, etc.) gets to be really one sided and doesn't reflect yoru style as a couple. So you might as well wait until you're engaged honestly. And you will have so much time to plan the wedding together that there is no point in trying to rush it all before you have a ring.
The engagement period is the period you can really start planning, anything done before just tends to bring expectations only for reality to set in.
Take your own advice, and slow down and wait to become engaged first before planning.
So what if your perfect date is taken by that venue? - there are other days and other venues. What matters most is that your marrying your best friend and soul mate, the when/what/where/who dont matter, just the why.
I find myself planning too...then I have to check myself. I don't have a ring yet either! I am hoping for a Sept 2012 wedding too!
@Big Truck:Look, as long as SO is on board, there's nothing wrong with pre-planning. I knew it was coming, so I ended up buying my dress in August! We didn't get engaged until the middle of October.But you know what? By that point, the dress was already paid for, and it ended up taking a lot of stress off.
I'm in the same boat. I recently got a timeline from my bf and I know that the proposal is coming soon. I have a date in mind of April or May 2012, and with my job, I have very specific weeks off and can't really change them. But as time passes, I'm getting more and more anxious because, really, there's only eight or nine months until then. I know where I want to get married, and it takes everything in me not to call and find out whether those dates are available. I convince myself not to though, because just because it's available now, doesn't mean it will be available when I'm actually ready to put a deposit down.
I say, just wait until your BF proposed before actually calling about availability or anything concrete. Just plan peripherally without trying to put any deposits down or checking for availability so your feelings aren't hurt. And don't worry about it- when you and your BF get engaged, you can talk together about dates and venues and everything will work out fine! *HUGS!*
In the same boat with ya, hon. Or at least on the same lake.
SO and I talked about it and I know the proposal is coming by the end of the year, so it's hard not to start researching and pre-planning certain bits. I had a bit of a wobble one week where I had the "jumping the gun" feeling and was kind of let down about it (planning is fun, after all) but I talked it over with SO and he was fine with the pre-planning. In his mind, a lot of this is formality (formality we want, mind you) and this pre-planning stage gives us a chance to explore our options, get an idea of what a realistic budget is and to do it on our own without family or well-meaning friends butting in. This way, when we announce it to said family and friends, we've already got the broad strokes down and can enjoy the detailed planning once we go public.
Though it is awfully hard to plan on the dl :)
ugh, so know how you feel. i had to just seriously step away because i was making myself insane and putting way too much pressure on myself and him. good luck, in my experience it has been super hard to get it out of my head!
Ahhh I so know how you feel, as well!
I'm ring-less, but I know he's found one... and therefore I want to snag a date for fall 2012, all the while getting anxious about having enough time to book in advance! It's put a lot of pressure on myself as well as my SO.
We currently live on opposite sides of the country, therefore our time together is sacred and I have to remind myself of this when I get all 'wedding talk' on him. Even though he's throwing in some idea's too.
This is the most exciting time of our lives, and we have the freedom to choose to do whatever we want! So I'm deciding to take on patience, and enjoy each moment before getting too ahead of myself, and stressing myself out before anything has even happened!
It's hard enough not living in the same province as him... :)
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Well.... I have to reconsider what the heck I've been thinking lately.
Last night, in my planning fury to get the date I want (see previous post), I emailed a venue and asked about pricing and availability. I looked this place up online and just loved everything about it. The scenery, the menu, the wedding planner that came with the package. It all seemed so perfect.
I got the reply email this morning. They are booked for the date I want.
So now I feel like a miserable lump of sad.
"It is not the end of the world, Katie," I keep telling myself. There are plenty of other venues to look at. And if I really want that place, I could just change the date.
But the date would be sooooooo perfect.
And then I gave myself the proverbial slap in the face.
I need to slow the f down.
I'm not even engaged yet. Now I know how Mr. Big Truck felt the other night when I brought all my planning crap up to him.
Slow the HELL down.
I don't feel like I'm doing this the right way. Just because he put money down for the ring and the engagement is coming eventually , doesn't mean I have to plan the whole freakin wedding right this second.
I'm gonna pretend like I don't know it's coming. Then once we're engaged, we'll plan this like normal couples do. One step at a time. So maybe I'm not meant for a September 2012 wedding. Maybe I need to push it to October or November or whatever. We'll decide that AFTER we're engaged.
I went into total wedding overload and I've exhausted myself already. Time to just take a step back and relax. I shouldn't be stressing out over these details so soon. We're not even engaged yet, sheesh.
I was just trying to get a head start. It'll work out in the end.
It's not the end of the world, and it's certainly NOT gonna stop me from snooping around on here and posting, lol. For now, I'm just gonna put my feet up and relax.
However, it doesn't help that just yesterday, my mother called me a bridezilla (I'm not even a bride, yet! I'm just a zilla!) for going nuts over reception locations. And then this morning, she tells me she wants to go out with me and buy a wedding planning book! SHEESH!!
She's weird like that. One day she's like crying because she's happy I'm gonna get married, then the next day she's yelling at me for looking at expensive places and calling me a bridezilla, then the next day she wants to sit down and plan with me. OY.
But for now..... Taking a deep, cleansing breath and just relaxing. There's no need to rush any of this. I'm just gonna wait and let it all flow.....