Post # 1
Hey bees! I’m new to this board, and this is my first thread. Anyhow, I am not “officially” engaged yet as there is no ring, no proposal, etc etc. However, my BF and I have found my ring, been discussing a date, and have (from my understanding) kind of agreed on one. He has been seemingly hinting that he is planning to propose by our 3 year anniversary, which is coming up this year. My question is, do you think setting a date and discussing it takes away from the initial engagement when he finally does get down on one knee and present to me that blue diamond ring? Or, is it normal?
I’m also concerned that this is all potentially just leading me on, as he doesn’t like discussing wedding plans and all that good stuff a lot, if ever. Is that a bad sign? Or is it normal because he’s a guy? Perhaps it has to do with our age difference as I am 21 and he is 28? Maybe I just get over excited and want to ramble on about it too much? Any opinions or advice would be helpful 🙂
Post # 3
If it’s more than 2 years off, go for it. If not, save yourself the headaches, disappointments and aggravation when life happens, you don’t get proposed to exactly when you want/expect, or things go wrong. See it all the time on this forum; don’t make the mistake of getting ahead of yourself.
Post # 4
I think it is normal for him not to really want to discuss wedding planning.
I would encourage you not to set a date before getting engaged, other than in your head you can have a directional idea like “Fall of 2014 would be perfect” or something like that. I wouldn’t blab it to anyone else.
Post # 5
@JazzyGemini: If you two have “officially” agreed to get married, then you are technically engaged (if you both agree that you are). You can still wait for a ring and proposal, but that’s up to you.
I personally would not officially set a date, book a venue or make formal plans until it’s decided that the engagement is official. Too many things can happen that may move up or back the date. I would say saving money, gathering ideas and hanging out on here is perfectly fine though.
Also, why do you get the feeling that he is leading you on? Not getting excited about the wedding is one thing, but if you get a sense he is not serious about getting engaged or married anytime soon, then I would definitely not set an official date yet.
Post # 6
It’s just really hard not to get a head of myself when he’s the one who let it slip a few months ago that he’s going to propose within a year. And, what’s more, is that he agreed on a wedding date, or, I guess generally area, last night when we were talking. Also, he’s been acting strangely, I can’t describe it. But, I guessit’s kind of like he knows something I don’t know. He kept saying that the ring I love might be gone by now, and wouldn’t let me go look as we were passing the store the next day… I also have a tendancy to over think, haha.
Post # 7
@bmo88: Oh, we’re not booking anything at all. I just get ideas and present them to him and get his opinion, and of course get a sense of how much I need to save. I only say “I” because he already has his saved, haha. I’m so bad with money, but I’ve already started saving 🙂 We’ve also agreed to save for this. And, as for him leading me on, I just worry a lot as I have been lead on before. I however did tell him that he has not rejeted any of these ideas both of us have put on the table, wedding date and everything, and that he hasn’t taken back what he said about proposing within a year (I really didn’t think he meant to let that slip, I wasn’t even discussing marriage with him at the time he said it). I think he just hasn’t quite done it yet as he is probably waiting for the right time, as well as he is worried about meddling parents, haha.