Post # 1
My fiancé and I are in a predicament. We want to get married ASAP.we both agree on this 100%. I’m not prego but we are in a situation where we really need to get married, the sooner the better. On the surface this may seem like no big deal but his sister is too engaged and already set her date at the end of Nov. My fiancés family has been very vocal that they would be extremely angry if we beat her to the altar. I work ajob that is terribly busy jan-march (I do two important 2 week biz trips and spend my little time not traveling playing catch up at works this time of yr! ) i really think i would be a total mess if i tried to add a wedding to my responsiblities that time of yr. we also don’t want to wait until April. This gives us exactally 2 weekends in Dec to work with (that aren’t immediately after his sis wedding or Xmas/new yrs weekends) apparently this still isn’t okay. His family is threatening not to come (disclaimer they all will have to travel to this wedding so plane tickets and hotel expense for them will be involved) they feel that I need to put off farther but I’m worried jan/feb will mean I have work and wed stress and I won’t be able to enjoy my day! How do we handle this? We don’t want to elope cause naturally that will only cause even more tongues to wag if we do and frankly why can’t I have the wedding I’ve always dreamed of,my future sister in law gets to, can’t I? Am I wrong? I don’t want to ruin her wedding but I fail to see how me getting married two weeks later is so rotten? How much time off are you request around your wedding?
Post # 3
These people seem impossible to please. I say invite them in Dec. and if they say no, then all systems are GO for eloping.
Post # 4
Its not about what they want, its about what you want! Do what ever suits you!
Post # 5
@Katieshack: “My fiancés family has been very vocal that they would be extremely angry if we beat her to the altar.”
Would getting married between April and October this year suit you and your FI? Because that would probably be what I would do.
Post # 6
@Katieshack: I must say, I think 2 weeks is a bit close for two siblings’ weddings, when plane travel is involved. Only because it’s hard on the guests to travel by plane twice in 2 weeks.
I think you should instead marry well before FI’s sister. Preferably at least 2 months before. That gives people time to travel to both.
There’s nothing wrong with FI marrying before his sister. If FI’s sister doesn’t want people beating her to the altar, she should have a shorter engagement.
Post # 7
@Katieshack: Why is your FI not handling this? If he’s on board with the Dec dates, then HE has to communicate that to them. (And this is assuming that you are paying on your own, with no help from his parents)
This is really going to boil down to your FIs feelings about the matter. You all get married in December when it’s feasible for you, potentially without his parents OR you wait and get married with his parents in attendance. Since it’s his family, he should make the call.
ETA – I agree with PPs about doing it between now and your SILs wedding, but again, your FILs might be upset with that so the statement above still applies – let your FI choose.
Post # 8
@Katieshack: I would make ur FI handle this whole situation with his family.
That being said, I would choose a date that YOU want, because this is all about you in the end.
My SIL’s MIL had said the same thing when she hear my FI and I were engaged, that we better be having the wedding AFTER theirs. Honestly to spite her I wanted to move it up, but I didn’t want a summer wedding and their wedding was in aug. But his sister nor i have ever felt like one of us is trying to beat the other one.