Setting a Date- WWYD?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: If you knew your FMIL's time may be limited, would you?
    Move the wedding up despite being in school for another semester : (43 votes)
    74 %
    Have the wedding when most "comfortable" for you : (15 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @ddstobe2015:  We had a shorter engagement than I wanted because we tried to have the wedding early enough for my husband’s father to attend (he was diagnosed with cancer), so I voted to move it up.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1248 posts
    Bumble bee

    My situation- All 4 of my grandparents are still living. My dads father has recently gotten sick and isnt recovering like we had hoped. A heart attack set the events in motion for him to be in the position he is in right now. FI and I got engaged a few weeks before his heart attack. I told everyone I wanted to get married in the spring of 2015- about a year & a half out. It was ideal for us financially, and in every wedding planning facet you could think of. My dad tried to guilt trip me into moving the date up sooner to ensure my grandfather would still be alive. But you know what, any of us could pass any day. And just a week or 2 later, my grandfather has a heart attack & is now going downhill and probably wouldnt be able to make the wedding at this point even if it was today. He missed our engagement party 2 weeks ago because he is so ill at this point.

    I made the decision to stick with the date that was best for FI and I. BUT if it was one of our parents, we might do something a little different. Maybe have a small family ceremony sooner, then plan a big ideal wedding for down the line, and hope that maybe she’ll still be around for that one too!

    Post # 5
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think this is a discussion to have with your fiance(e).  If you are both more comfortable having your wedding later, go for that option.  I would think hard If your FMIL’s health is likely to decline in the time between your first possible date and your second, but I would want my FMIL to see our wedding.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2882 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I voted comfortable for us.   Knowing absolutly nothing about your situation, I voted on how we chose our date.

    Post # 8
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My friend was recently in this situation with her mother and she moved up the wedding ceremony (a small, family-only affair) and had a vow renewal ceremony and large reception at the originally planned time. Her mother unfortunately did not make it to the reception and she is so happy that she made the decision to marry earlier than she’d planned, even if it meant she didn’t have the ceremony she had always wanted. She would have been devastated if she had waited.

    Post # 9
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’d pick the date that works best for you!

    Unless your FMIL is dying or something awful like that!

    Post # 10
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I VOTED – MOVE UP THE DATE

    Family is an important element in a Wedding… 2 Families coming together to create a NEW Family.

    If you guys are already Engaged and just waiting until things are a bit better than they are now (ie finish school, saving money etc) and were planning to get married anyhow in the next few months to a year, I’d say… Ya go ahead and do it now.

    BUT if there is more going on (such as not yet Engaged) then ya, looking at 2015 or 2016 as your Wedding Date might make more sense

    Hope this helped (some)

      

    Post # 12
    Member
    2163 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @ddstobe2015:  I’ve lost both my father and stepmother and it kills me that they won’t be there for the wedding. When they’re gone, they’re gone. So I would personally keep the engagement short. BUT you also have to do what’s right for you, and if it’s just not possible for you to have the wedding earlier then you shouldn’t feel guilty.

    Post # 13
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @ddstobe2015:  …Oh. Then I would move up the date and plan for it to be soon! You can always hope for the best, but always plan for the worst!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @ddstobe2015:  I voted “Move Up.” I never expected to be married by the end of 2013, but we moved up our date b/c my parents would be moving abroad in 2014, and it would be hard to get everyone together post winter/spring 2014.

    Only you know what’s best for you, but if I were in your position, I would definitely move the wedding up. One semester is really inconsequential in the greater scheme of things – plenty of my friends got married while still in school.

    Post # 16
    Member
    451 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    My mother passed 1 month before FI and I got engaged. The engagement was a surprise, I wasn’t expecting it for another 6-12 months. Had I known he was so close to proposing, I would have asked him to go ahead and do it before she died. I feel I would have felt the same about the wedding. I would have wanted to have her there. 

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors