- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
DH works with a guy that came overseas around the same time as us. The guy and his wife recently had their 2nd child. DH tells me the other day that the wife is going back to the U.S. with the kids b/c she’s “done living overseas.” She’s leaving in a couple of months. HE on the other hand is staying until at least early next year…b/c HE wants to….at least another 6 months.
At first, I understood….maybe she wants to be around her family while the kids are little. They’ve never lived away from their families and are in their 30s btw.
However, thinking back the guy has made a couple of comments that makes me think things aren’t so great in the marriage. He’s said that he wished we had known her before kids b/c “she used to be sooo fun and carefree.” They’ve hardly traveled over here and have not ONCE been out just the two of them although we’ve offered to babysit.
I honestly cannot believe that either of them is willing to be away from each other and him away from the kids. She’s not planning on working once she gets back either so that’s not the reason she’s going.
So here’s where the problem is….she did go back to visit her family a while ago and stayed for a month. While gone, the guy took it as being able to be single again. He went out with a couple of 22yo guys and partied/drank quite a bit. He had a poker night at his house and DH said he wanted me to come….the guy said no problem b/c he thinks I’m cool but he did pressure us to go out drinking all night.
I mentioned to DH that this sounds like a separation since it’s gonna cost them more for her to live in a different place and seriously, who would take a newborn and toddler away from their father for such a long time just b/c she’s homesick?
Being the worry wart I am, I just KNOW this guy is gonna want to hang out all the time, drink, party, and yikes….want to travel with us or DH alone. I need help talking to DH about boundaries with this guy. I personally (nor would I want DH to either) would not participate in “going hog wild” while separated from someone’s spouse. DH likes the guy although I doubt he’d be friends with him if we were back in the states.