Setting some boundaries with my Mum…

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

“I was talking to my doctor and they recommended I limit the number of visitors I have, instead of coming on Wednesday, could you wait until I am feeling a bit better on Thursday to visit?”

“But honey, I really want to come on Wednesday.”

“Sorry mom, doctor’s orders.”

 

That’s what I would do, but I also have no problem being blunt with my mom and just saying “You stress me out and I can’t have that the day of surgery.”

Good luck on your surgery and get well soon!

Post # 4
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@misshydra:  Just pretend you are sleeping and let your DH deal with her 🙂

If she wont’ be able to visit with you until 3pm I wouldn’t worry about the time before that that she is taking off of work. Sometimes it helps make a family member feel like they’re doing something if they’re around while you’re in surgery.

Post # 6
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@misshydra:  If you haven’t already dont’ tell her what time you have to go in at, just tell her you will see her after.

And tell the nurse you don’t want anyone seeing you before visiting hours!

Post # 7
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Definitely let office administration know you do not want visitors during certain hours. If you have’t already done so, don’t let her know your hospital room number. You and DH turn your cell phones off and and YOU focus on yourself. 

Good luck and feel better!

Post # 8
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@misshydra:  Hmmm. 

You might have to just tell her very firmly that you dont want any visitors and tell her specifically that she can come the next day/whenever.

If she does end up coming and starts to be needy, ignore it, tell her to stop or ask her to leave.

Post # 9
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Just be honest and tell her firmly that the only person you want there is your husband, and you will not receive any visitors.

Post # 10
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2000

Can I just you some info from a mom’s perspective?  Seeing you go through this IS difficult for her and she is talking to friends and seeking support. Regardless of your relationship, she is probably scared for you. regardless, tell her no one is to visit while you are in hospital. She needs to help in some way. Give her some tasks for that day to keep her busy( and out of the hospital ;)) that help you out ex. Cook freezer meals, laundry ect….and have hubby call her when you are safely out of the OR.  Moms feel a bit entitled when our babies are sick…it’s hard to let go

best wishes

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