Post # 1
I came across a blog in which they were talking about couples registering at certain stores. There was a lot of opinions saying that including registry info on an invitation is a major no no and that it’s tacky. They were saying that if they were invited to a wedding they wouldn’t like for them to tell them where to get a gift. THATS NOT THE POINT! The point is couples don’t want to get 20 blenders or 10 sets of dishes. The point of having a registry is not to tell people where to get them a gift but more of if you would like to get us a gift this is what we need and we prefer, totally not required. It also said that people would know of the registry by word of mouth and that’s why it shouldn’t be included on an invitation. Well are you all gonna talk about what you’ll be purchasing for the couple so the same item won’t be bought? Uh I don think so. People think/analyze too much.anyways needed to vent over this insignificant matter. thanks
Post # 3
@ilovemariah4: The idea of gifts has to be so secret and hidden. Someone told me that putting registry info on the shower invite is tacky. What the HELL. It is to SHOWER with gifts! Why does it have to be some big secret??
Post # 4
@ilovemariah4: I’m of the school of thought that registry info should not be included on invites . Your reasons for registering are all totally valid and creating a registry is not tacky. In my region it is the norm. However, my guests can find my registry by using google or wedding channel or heck, even my wedding website. If they don’t use a computer they can ask my mom or my best friend where we are registered. I don’t think I need to include it in the invite for us both to reap the many benefits registries provide.
That being said, I don’t negatively judge those that choose to include registry info in invites, I get them a gift off their registry regardless of where I found the info.
Post # 5
This is a pretty standard school of thought and most people around here will agree with the blog. You can register, but you shouldn’t include it with your invitations. If someone wants to buy you a gift they will ask, or find your registry.
That being said, it also has to do with your crowd, and what is standard in your circle.
Post # 6
@ilovemariah4: Just to warn you, I made this same argument a few weeks ago and was called ungrateful, gift-grabby, tacky, greedy, and probably a few more. But, I totally agree with you.
Post # 7
My mom and I where having a discussion similar to this last night. There are times where people who strictly follow Emily Post need to realize Ettiqute is about what is doing what is best for your guests and not always about what people say it is. Is it best for my guests from various stages in my life to have to dig for my registry information? Not all of them know my parents or wedding party members.
As a guest, I beg all brides to make it easy for me to know what to get you. If that means telling me where you are registered, please list it on the invite. If that means you want cash, please put something like “we aren’t registered.”
Post # 8
It’s not at all tacky for couples to register for gifts. Registering is perfectly fine, because it allows guests who proactively wish to find out what your preferences are to find them. It also does what you noted — helps to prevent too many duplicate gifts.
However, formal etiquette in the US does indeed frown upon couples including registry information in wedding invitations, because it makes reference to gifts, something that is not considered to be polite.
Etiquette DOES allow couples to include links to their registry information on their wedding websites, however, since guests must choose to visit the website (vs. having the information forced upon them in an event invitation.)
Finally, even guests who know about a couple’s wedding registry may choose not to refer to it, instead preferring to select a more personalized gift of their own choosing.
Post # 9
The blog is correct. it is rude to put registry information on an invitation. Why? Because an invitation does not come with the expectation of a gift. Gifts are given freely by the giver. If gifts were required, they would be called “the price of admission” and not a gift.
It is not impolite to have a registry. If your guests want to buy you something off your registry, they will ask you “hey, where are you registered?” and then you can tell them. It’s really not that complicated. Trust me, your guests will figure it out if they want to.
Post # 10
Sorry but I agree with the blog. I don’t think registry information should be included on the invite. The last one we got they used those little printed cards from BB&B and the black ink rubbed off all over their invite. Real cute.
Post # 11
I put a card in the invites and a link on my website. Why? I don’t give a fuck really. If someone is offended and doesn’t get me a gift because of it, I hope they enjoyed my open bar and free food. I also was an idiot and put our website on the actual RSVP card..so people sent them back and most didn’t even see the website.
Giving a gift should be because you want to, and choosing not to because of stupid etiquette rules is on them..not me.
Post # 12
I don’t think it tacky, and I find it ridiculously stupid when people think it is. Really? Who cares! If you’re buying a gift anyways, why not just get something you know the couple wants! I love registries. Makes it so much easier to shop for someone!
Post # 13
You know what I think? I think it’s tacky to call people tacky!!
A bridal shower isn’t called a shower because the guests all stand in a circle and hose down the bride. It’s to shower her with gifts… that’s what it’s for! So yes, gifts are expected and personally I find it helpful to know what they want. I have my FSIL’s bridal shower in a week and I have no clue what to get her because she isn’t registered it would be so much easier if she was and I knew where. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t include the info but I just don’t think it’s that big a of deal. I’m really starting to hate the idea of etiquette rules, yes it’s important to be polite but I feel like it just gives people confidence that they are justfied in being judgemental.
Post # 14
Registering is the polite, traditional thing to do. people can use it if it’s helpful to them, and most people appreciate them- the guests and the couples.
Inlcuding the info on the invite is a breech of traditional etiquette- it’s like saying “gift required” which is the antithesis of hosting. Registry traditionally is shared through word of mouth or more recently the wedding website.
To me, putting it on a shower is helpful because thats the purpose of a shower and it’s not the bride herself suggesting it.
Post # 15
Word Of Mouth. seriously. People will either ask YOU or your parents or other people going to the wedding. It may be your first wedding… but alot of people have had weddings with out including the info for the “gift grab”. Who says you’re going to get anything anyway.
Post # 16
oh and the title of this thread is misleading. No one said not to set up a registry, just don’t stick in with the invite.