Settle a debate…unreasonable expectations or SO being a jerk?

posted 3 years ago in Pets
Post # 3
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

That’s pretty inconsiderate, but the cat will be fine.  He has food, water, and his litterbox, a few more hours really isn’t going to traumatize him more than bringing him there for the originally agreed upon time.  He may need a couple days to settle in again when you bring him back to your place, but he would probably need that anyway.

Post # 4
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Dizbee:  can you go to his parents and get him? 

I have to agree with your SO on this one… a couple hours won’t derail months of domesticating him… he isn’t going to think you abandoned because he spent 1 day at a different place 

Post # 5
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@Dizbee:  I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I’m sure your kitty will be fine, and will just be happy to be home once you get him back. Did SO allow him to just roam the house? Tell him to be prepared for the cat to have made a mess if that’s the case! If kitty did anything I would tell SO that that’s his problem, not yours. Good luck!

Post # 6
Hostess
9892 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

he’ll be fine – I’m a little more worried about your SO’s bedroom/house.  If kitty really wants to go outside will he destroy stuff?

I’m sure he’ll be fine though – HUGS

Post # 9
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

The cat will be fine, but you really need to find a place to live where you don’t have to hide him from the landlord.

Post # 10
Member
2162 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I know that feeling of worry, trust me! I think your SO was a little inconsiderate. But your baby will be fine…it’s probably even less stressful for him now that there aren’t a bunch of scary noises in the house.

Post # 11
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Your cat will probably just sleep the whole time. I always get really anxious and worried when I have to take my cat to boarding when we travel, but just like a child as soon as I am out of sight he quits meowing and adjusts perfectly fine! Try not to worry. Smile

Post # 12
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@Dizbee:  I’m sure that if he becomes aggressive again that it will only last a couple of days as PPs said. It was a bit inconsiderate of your SO to cancel your plan without telling you, but I think your baby will fair just fine. I don’t like leaving my cats alone for any period of time longer than what I need to. As soon as I’m done work in the afternoon I come right home to them even if it isn’t their dinner time yet, so I know how you feel. I think it’s more for my comfort, but I’m sure they like it that way too.

Post # 13
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Dizbee:  Is he neutered?  Did he stay at the vet for his neutering?  Not trying to sound like a jerk, but if you were so worried about losing the progress you made, you wouldn’t have had him at SOs in the first place.  Seriously, it’s a matter of a few more hours.  Yeah, your SO goofed and should have brought the cat home BEFORE he went to the concert, but coming home tonight as opposed to this afternoon really isn’t going to do any lasting damage.

Post # 14
Member
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

In my experience, cats don’t love going to new places – no matter who is with them. My cat has moved with me five times and everytime I move he goes into hiding for a few days, even when I am with him. I’m just saying this so that you don’t blame your SO unreasonably for any strange behavior your kitty may have in the next few days. The damage was done when he first went to SO’s, not because SO left him alone for a few more hours.

Post # 15
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Dizbee:  The cat will likely be fine after one night. At the very least wait and see if there’s even anything to be this worked up about before prematurely arguing with him. Pick your fights. He made an honest mistake and communicated it to you. But, seriously, why get yourself all pissed off when you don’t even know if there’s anything to be pissed about yet? That’s not fair to either of you.

Post # 16
Member
1788 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m with you here. Obviously your cat is not a typical domestic cat and has a need to be able to get outdoors when he wishes. It’s possible that he will be totally fine, but it’s also possible that this really could undo a lot of your work. Cats are very temperamental and it’s always surprising what a huge difference small things or changes in routine can make. I hope everything turns out ok, but I would be pretty pissed off at him too. Not only because he left your pet locked in a strange room for much longer than you agreed to, but because he’s trying to brush off your honest concerns. 7 hours is much longer than “a couple hours”, and a strange room with a locked door is completely different from being in his own home. I take pets very seriously, and I know not everyone does, but it drives me insane when people brush off pet concerns like it’s all stupid and inconsequential. 

 

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