Post # 1
A while ago I adopted a feral cat that hung out at my apartment complex. It was a long, loooooong (like spanning over two and a half years) process but I finally got him domesticated and now he’s the sweestest kitty in the world…except when he wants to go out. He will absolutely go insane if you don’t let him out. Hanging on the doorknob, crying at the top of his lungs, running around and jumping on every surface in the apartment, hissing and even biting me. When I don’t let him out he gets aggressive. It is literally the only time he ever becomes aggressive, even when I take him to the vet he’s calm and only meows a little. Eventually he will be indoor only (he’s gone out less and less since I started letting him in) but for now I still let him out.
Well this is against the apartment manager’s rule. Pets are not allowed outside without a leash, so I’ve been keeping him a secret. He’s been around here for 2 years that I know of and probably more before I moved here and started taking care of him, so I’m sure manager has seen him around and thinks he’s just part of a local cat colony that hangs around. If I lock him inside all the time cold turkey I’m afraid he will start getting aggressive again, and I’ve worked so hard to break that habit. So the manager doesn’t know I’ve adopted the cat and let him out once a day or so.
We had an inspection today and I didn’t know what to do. If the manager saw the cat inside (or chilling outside my apartment waiting for me like he always does when he’s ready to come in) I’d be in huge trouble and the cat would probably be removed or forced to stay inside all the time. So I asked my SO to keep him at his house during the inspection. SO is over here almost every day and the cat knows him and loves on him all the time. He picked him up in the morning, put him in his room, set him up with all his toys and food and litter box and a blanket and kept him in his room. The cat was clearly scared but not aggressive.
Here’s the kicker: The cat was only supposed to be over there for the morning and part of the afternoon and then SO would bring him home. SO lives with his parents (full time law student, lives rent free with no loans and is over at my place most of the time) and I don’t have a key. So around 5, SO calls me up and tells me he’s going to a concert with his parents that night that he completely forgot about, they’ve had tickets since his birthday. Okay, fine, bring the cat over then go. Then he tells me the concert is an hour and a half away and they’re ALREADY ON THE ROAD. The cat “will be fine” until they get home. I ask when they’ll be home. MIDNIGHT. SEVEN HOURS after he said he’d bring my kitty back!
Bees, I am so worried about my cat. This is the first time he’s stayed away from home for any length of time and I didn’t want him away longer than absolutely necessary. SO thinks I’m crazy and says he’ll be fine but the cat has just recently started to become very domesticated and I’m so scared that all that progress is going to be ruined if he thinks I abandoned him (we think he may have been abandoned by a previous owner based on some behavior when we first found him). I am SO pissed at SO for not telling me about this concert and then just leaving my cat alone for so much longer than we’d planned. But am I making too big a deal of this?
Someone tell me my kitty will be alright 🙁
Post # 3
That’s pretty inconsiderate, but the cat will be fine. He has food, water, and his litterbox, a few more hours really isn’t going to traumatize him more than bringing him there for the originally agreed upon time. He may need a couple days to settle in again when you bring him back to your place, but he would probably need that anyway.
Post # 4
@Dizbee: can you go to his parents and get him?
I have to agree with your SO on this one… a couple hours won’t derail months of domesticating him… he isn’t going to think you abandoned because he spent 1 day at a different place
Post # 5
@Dizbee: I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I’m sure your kitty will be fine, and will just be happy to be home once you get him back. Did SO allow him to just roam the house? Tell him to be prepared for the cat to have made a mess if that’s the case! If kitty did anything I would tell SO that that’s his problem, not yours. Good luck!
Post # 6
he’ll be fine – I’m a little more worried about your SO’s bedroom/house. If kitty really wants to go outside will he destroy stuff?
I’m sure he’ll be fine though – HUGS
Post # 7
@beetee123: No, he kept him in his room and the door’s shut and locked (this kitty is incredibly smart I’ve seen him open doors as long as they’re not locked and have a push down handle). He has everything he needs in there. I know he’ll live, I just don’t want him to be traumatized or think I abandoned him. Biggest fear is that the aggression will come back. He was really, really aggressive when we first found him, wouldn’t let anyone get near him without growling or hissing and would absolutely attack if you got too close. Now he only bites when he wants to go out, other than that he’ll just love on you all day. I don’t want aggressive kitty back 🙁
Post # 9
The cat will be fine, but you really need to find a place to live where you don’t have to hide him from the landlord.
Post # 10
I know that feeling of worry, trust me! I think your SO was a little inconsiderate. But your baby will be fine…it’s probably even less stressful for him now that there aren’t a bunch of scary noises in the house.
Post # 11
Your cat will probably just sleep the whole time. I always get really anxious and worried when I have to take my cat to boarding when we travel, but just like a child as soon as I am out of sight he quits meowing and adjusts perfectly fine! Try not to worry.
Post # 12
@Dizbee: I’m sure that if he becomes aggressive again that it will only last a couple of days as PPs said. It was a bit inconsiderate of your SO to cancel your plan without telling you, but I think your baby will fair just fine. I don’t like leaving my cats alone for any period of time longer than what I need to. As soon as I’m done work in the afternoon I come right home to them even if it isn’t their dinner time yet, so I know how you feel. I think it’s more for my comfort, but I’m sure they like it that way too.
Post # 13
@Dizbee: Is he neutered? Did he stay at the vet for his neutering? Not trying to sound like a jerk, but if you were so worried about losing the progress you made, you wouldn’t have had him at SOs in the first place. Seriously, it’s a matter of a few more hours. Yeah, your SO goofed and should have brought the cat home BEFORE he went to the concert, but coming home tonight as opposed to this afternoon really isn’t going to do any lasting damage.
Post # 14
In my experience, cats don’t love going to new places – no matter who is with them. My cat has moved with me five times and everytime I move he goes into hiding for a few days, even when I am with him. I’m just saying this so that you don’t blame your SO unreasonably for any strange behavior your kitty may have in the next few days. The damage was done when he first went to SO’s, not because SO left him alone for a few more hours.
Post # 15
@Dizbee: The cat will likely be fine after one night. At the very least wait and see if there’s even anything to be this worked up about before prematurely arguing with him. Pick your fights. He made an honest mistake and communicated it to you. But, seriously, why get yourself all pissed off when you don’t even know if there’s anything to be pissed about yet? That’s not fair to either of you.
Post # 16
I’m with you here. Obviously your cat is not a typical domestic cat and has a need to be able to get outdoors when he wishes. It’s possible that he will be totally fine, but it’s also possible that this really could undo a lot of your work. Cats are very temperamental and it’s always surprising what a huge difference small things or changes in routine can make. I hope everything turns out ok, but I would be pretty pissed off at him too. Not only because he left your pet locked in a strange room for much longer than you agreed to, but because he’s trying to brush off your honest concerns. 7 hours is much longer than “a couple hours”, and a strange room with a locked door is completely different from being in his own home. I take pets very seriously, and I know not everyone does, but it drives me insane when people brush off pet concerns like it’s all stupid and inconsequential.