Post # 1
My husband and I are having a disagreement over the definition of “sister in law” and “brother in law.” I say my husband’s brother’s wife is MY SIL as well as HIS SIL, but he says she’s only HIS SIL (because his brother is not my brother).
Merriam Webster says I’m right: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sister-in-law
but Collins English Dictionary appears to say he’s right: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sister-in-law
He thinks I should refer to her as “my husband’s SIL” rather than just “my SIL,” but I think that’s absolutely ridiculous. Haha.
Settle the dispute for me?
Post # 3
@bluebonnet: I agree with you. Once you are married, his SIL becomes yours.
Post # 4
Yeah, I would call her my SIL!
Post # 5
@bluebonnet: She is your SIL too.
Post # 6
I don’t know about the Collin’s English Dictionary, but it’s always been my understanding that your in-laws’ spouses are also your in-laws.
Post # 7
I call my FI’s brothers’ wives my future SILs but I get his confusion (and he may be right for all I know LOL)
Post # 8
I would also call her my SIL
Post # 9
I would. I like to call my Fi’s cousin’s wife my “cousin-in-law” 😉
Post # 10
I think of it as like… your sister in law in law. Because your husband’s brother is your BIL, so she is one step farther removed- your SILIL. In my family, I do think people are referred to the way you mentioned though.
Post # 11
She’s only your SIL in the same regards as your second-cousins-once-removed are your cousins. Not technically, but it’s easier to say.
Post # 13
@winstonchurchill: +1, that’s what I would also assume.
OP, I am not sure why your husband would get fussed about this. It sounds like you are being inclusive and want to be part of the family. That’s not a negative! Didn’t anyone else have “honourary” aunts and uncles when they grew up? My mom’s best friend was always “aunt” for us because my mom thought it was rude for 5 little brats to call her friend by her first name 😛
Post # 14
@MrsPanda99: Oh he’s not upset at all! I probably shouldn’t have said “argument.” Just something we don’t agree on! I’ve been using that terminology for years, but today we were talking about his youngest brother getting married, and I said it would be fun to have his youngest brother’s girlfriend as a sister in law, and he was randomly like “well you know she wouldn’t technically be your sister in law” and I was like “what? Of course she would!” So we had to Google the definition.
Not a big deal at all (it’s not like he wants me to actually change what I say or anything); we just both like to be right. 🙂
Post # 15
Thanks for the responses, everyone! Looks like I’m definitely winning! 🙂
Post # 16
I get where he’s coming from if he’s getting really technical, but I voted that she is your SIL. Once you’re married, you’re all family right? And that’s way to long of a description to explain who she is. Although I’d say if you like her, she’s your SIL and if you don’t care for her, she can just be his ;-).