Settle me this Bees: Do you bring a gift for BOTH shower and wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you bring a gift for BOTH shower and wedding?
    just bring shower gift and that's it (no wedding gift) : (11 votes)
    13 %
    bring a gift but also bring gift to the wedding : (74 votes)
    87 %
  • Post # 3
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Definitely bring a gift to both…

    Post # 4
    2174 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    I’ve brought a gift to both.  If I’m invited to the shower, I’m invited to the wedding, so typically, my wedding gift may be a little smaller that what I would give if I was just invited to the wedding.

    I kind of view it as two separate events, so two separate gifts.

    Post # 5
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @Skittles131:  In my experience (in the Midwest), gifts are given for BOTH the shower and the wedding. I am younger – so often times my shower gifts are smaller (in the $20 – $80 range depending upon relationship) and my wedding gifts have been larger (in the $50 – $200 range depending upon relationship & if both FI and I are attending/invited). These price points are specific to my personal financial situation (& my objective decisions), so are not necessarily a set guideline of what MUST be given (or a place to judge me for lack of proper gift giving). 


    Personally, unless I was utterly broke, I will always show up to a shower and wedding with some form of a gift. As a minimum – a card should always be given, even if a gift is not included. (once again personal opinion – also, it’s just polite).


    I will be honest, I would be a bit hurt if people didn’t at least give me a card for my wedding.  


    Post # 6
    422 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    The last wedding I attended, I brought an actual gift to the bridal shower and DH and I gave cash as a gift. I wouldn’t have felt right not bringing anything to the wedding.

    Post # 7
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I usually do a physical gift for the shower and money for the wedding. I personally would feel really awkward not bringing a gift of some sort to the wedding

    Post # 8
    640 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I have only ever given one wedding gift. If I am invited to the shower, I take it there…if not, I either have it shipped or take it to the wedding. I’ve never been made to feel like this is wrong, and never knew that people gave 2 gits (or even gave cash) before I joined the Bee…but in my circle, we don’t talk about the gifts outside of seeing them being opened at the shower.

    Post # 9
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    It seems cultural or location based? I’ve only ever done on or the other? If I give a shower gift, then just a card to the wedding. 

    Post # 10
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @Skittles131:  I do one big shower gift.  It is the wedding gift!  It’s much easier to transport gifts from a shower home than from the wedding.

    Post # 11
    2064 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013


    i havent been to many showers but i had my shower two days before my wedding. i was lucky to get two gifts from most of the girls. I had it so close because my wedding was destination. not far just the state capital. and most the women were together then. i honestly wouldnt have cared if they got me anything cuz i just wanted them to mingle before the wedding.

    Post # 12
    1861 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Smaller gift for the shower, larger gift for the wedding.

    Post # 13
    2167 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I usually give a gift off their registry for the wedding shower and then put a card with a real generous amount in their card box at the wedding!

    Post # 14
    2534 posts
    Sugar bee

    I always bring a gift to both. Usually a gift from the registry for the shower, and money or something sentimental for the wedding

    Post # 15
    8282 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Yes! Absolutely!

    Post # 16
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @Skittles131:  I think this is regional but where I’m from if you give at the shower you don’t have to give at the wedding, although it’s appreciated. You only invite people to the shower you are also inviting to the wedding so what is the point of the shower if you expect gifts to be brought to the wedding, that seems sort of gift-grabby to me. Just bring a nice card, they’ll remember you gave to them at the shower. Personally, I would be slightly embarassed if someone gave me gifts at both, like I only invited them to the shower to get 2 presents.

    Edit: I’ll add that I would prefer gifts at the shower vs gifts at the actual wedding. I don’t want to worry about who is grabbing my gift at the end of the night or if someone forgets it. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where everything was so chaotic at the end of the night we completely lost an entire box of decorations PLUS the bride’s shoes. We assume someone set it out by their vehicle and then forgot to load it in or something but either way I wouldn’t want the added stress.

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