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Ugh! I got on a high and invited seven women to be with me. Such a mistake. Too many people to babysit and worry about it.
Keep it small.
Anyone agree or disagree? Somebody please give me a story about a large, wonderful bridal party.
small is good.. less people to worry about.. I've got a MOH, BM, and a jr. BM and thats enough for me!
I am 9 bridesmaids in. 3 are sisters, 1 is from high school, 2 are from college, 1 is from work, 2 are from vet school. I have 1 flower girl - my niece (my sister threatened my life if her kid wasn't in the wedding) and 2 junior bridesmaids.
On the upside I have had a great sounding board for all my ideas because I never call the same one twice! No seriously I chose ladies that have been in my life for the long haul. I know their personalities and they know mine. I have enjoyed having so many friends and such a support network during all of this stress. And some of them have some crazy talents - Need make up artists? no problem got a BM! Need DIY flowers? Call a BM! Need a fashionista? Have 4 that have fantastic taste and know what works and what doesn't? Need a night to go out and let loose and dance out all the wedding stress? Except for my daddy and my FI anyone in my speed dial!
Just think of it not as wedding time but as hanging out time.
I'm having 4 BM's and that's it for me. I was in a wedding last year with like (felt like 50) 14 and it was out of control. Not doing that .....no more drama...
I've got 4 (2 sisters, 1 cousin, 1 (male) BFF) and that feels like overkill to me :) I was so excited to ask all of them though, and I feel really good about the people I have chosen. But that's plenty to have to think about and organise! I have several other people who could have been contenders, but in the end I wanted to keep it mostly family, plus none of my girlfriends could be jealous about the male BFF :) Other friends will be helping out a lot, and will be getting special thankyous etc.
Small is better... but only when you got stuck with a big one you didn't want. ;) I wanted three girls to be bridesmaids, but got pressured into asking my two step-sisters (I'm not close to them... I don't even like them) and then I want my brothers there, too, since I think it would be an insult just to make them ushers (and FI insisted on his brother (obvs) plus his six closest friends...). I think just about every young person at the wedding is going to be in our wedding party. ;)
Lol! I wish I had a happier bridal party story, but I definitely wish I had kept my bridal party smaller too! I have 7 BMs, and while I love all of the friends I asked to be a part of it, had I known all the issues and drama that can come out when it comes to weddings and bridal parties, I would have kept my bridal party much smaller and thought of other ways to involve certain friends. Maybe it's naive of me but I just never would have expected that my closest friends (or, people who I thought were my closest friends) would cause so many issues. After I started experiencing some of this, almost all of my married friends said that they went through similar things with their bridal parties, and a few said that bridal parties are so much more trouble than they're worth -- a friend of mine even said that going through a wedding (of course, not just the fun planning stuff but the "heavier" things like future in-law issues, money stuff, relationship changes, etc.) really shows you who your true friends are. Kinda sad, but also kinda true! I don't think that I or the people I know just happen to have crappy friends or that we're crazy bridezillas who alienate people -- I think that weddings bring out a lot of different feelings and sensitivities in people and those things are not always about "you."
I'm trying not to take things too personally, which can be hard and may be somewhat delusional, and to really be thankful and appreciative of the friends who have been really supportive.
I have 2 BMs and sometimes I still think it's one too many. Love them both, but oh, the neverending opinions!! I totally agree that small bridal parties are best.
I have seven bridesmaids.
No regrets here.
:) Why not be surrounded by people you love? Especially on your wedding day!
I had 6 BM's! It worked out just fine. We all went to college together (except for one girl that i've known since i was 6 and everyone was really welcoming with her so she fit right in) and it was like a big party again.
Small is better...if I could start over I'd only have 1 or 2, or maybe no one!
Wow! We are having 1 Matron of Honor, 1 Best Man, 2 flower girls, and possible 2 ushers.
I had 6 originally - 1 MOH and 5 bridesmaids. One, the difficult one, dropped out to be dramatic and now all my problems are pretty much nipped. I have one "care free" bm who is causing me a little stress with dress ordering but no worries! all my maids just met at my shower and now I'm SO excited for my bachelorette party... i love when everyone gets along:)
I wished I could have gotten the wedding party to 7. We have 11!!! So that's basically 24 people including the bride & groom. Add a Jr. BM, flower girl and 2 ring bearers.
Keep it.
I have 8...not including the flower girl. Hope it works out :o/ Everything's been going well so far...
i have a small party as well - 1 MH and 1 BM - best decision ever
This is exactly why I am having only my sister stand with me as my MOH.
I have 7BMs and it hasn't been a problem. I find that they are only a problem to "babysit and worry about" if you micromanage them.
I asked all my BMs to buy a knee-ish lenght Alfred Angelo dress in Indigo and that was it. I don't care about shoes, jewelry, accessories or how they wear their hair. They are grown ups, they know how to dress themselves. I don't care that one of my BMs ordered her dress 6 weeks before the wedding and had to pay a rush fee. As far as I'm concerned, if she didn't get a dress, she would look silly walking down the aisle or she would not walk at all, her choice. Seriously, with all the other things we have to worry about as brides, why would I micromanage people who are perfectly capable of managing themselves?
DaisyBride: My plans are very similar to yours and you have made me feel much better -- thanks :o)
I'm having 6, plus a FG, and it hasn't been a problem yet! There was no way for us to keep it to one or two BMs, and I'm happy that we've got a big old crew of 6 on each side. Like DaisyBride, I haven't bothered to micromanage anything -- I told them a color by a designer and just let them pick whatever dress, just wear black shoes, I don't care about jewelry, etc. The guys are just wearing a black suit of their own and we're providing a tie. I think it's easy to have a lot of people if you keep it as simple for yourself (and them!) as possible.
I might have it especially easy though, two of the BMs are my sisters, two are my FSILs, and two are college friends. They're all super super easygoing so that might explain my no-drama bridal party :)
I have five, including my MOH, and I don't think the size has really created any drama at all. I think, no matter what the size, a group of girls will create some drama :)
That said, I might feel differently if I had more!!
I was one of 11 for my oldest sister and it was great. We all went out of our way to make her day special - I'd say the MOH was in charge of wrangling us way more than the bride was. We also knew our purpose, so no one got in her way or created any stress for her. It was fun!
Just today, I emailed my 4 and asked if anyone had a problem with a 5th (clearly I don't want drama so I didn't want to do the oh by the way, X is a BM now too). So far, the more the merrier is the attitude. I only worry because they are not one group of friends. MOH is my BFF since Jr. high, 2 are college BFFs and the 4th is FSIL who has only met the others via email. I am planning to adda high school friend who I've gotten closer too after high school but barely knows the otheres. None live in the same state so it's not like I can just invite them out to get to know each other but I hope it will be drama free fun when they finally all get together.
I'm with DaisyBride. A lot of the stress that comes from bridal parties is based on expectations of the bride (I'm no Spring chicken and have been in the bridesmaid role often). I'm having 5, but we're all in our late 20s and early 30s with too much on our plates to worry about the shoes that this one or that one is wearing. Try to adopt an easy-going attitude and hopefully your bridesmaids will follow.
We have five total wedding party members: One MOH, two BMs, one best man and one groomswoman. And honestly, we wouldn't have had it any other way. We kept it all in the family (siblings and cousins) and it's been totally smooth sailing!
Plus, on the day of the wedding, I didn't want to get ready with 10+ people. It would have been too much for me. I feel like a small wedding party allows you to spend more quality time with the people you chose, which also in turn makes them feel more appreciated.
It was either 4 or none for me...we opted for a wedding party hah, so we have 4. I'm pretty happy with our decision :) I also like the look of pictures with 4 girls...and 10 people including us is perfect (for us)!
i have two girls with me. it was stressful picking out their dresses, i couldn't imagine having more! i'm hoping that will be the only stress though.
I agree, keep it small. I have 6 girls - 1 MOH, 4 bms & 1 jr bm. Also 2 flowergirls if you count them in. I would have rather kept my bridal party to 3. I think 3 is a good number. 3 people that you can DEPEND on.
I would agree I have 5 (4 college friends and my FSIL)...and it's mostly been awesome but definitely drama...!
I originally wanted 3 and then one thing led to another and I ended up with 8. We also had 8 groomsmen and his nephew (10 years old) and it was east coast/west coast. It worked out just fine and we would not have changed a thing.
I have 7 BM. I will admit that when I first tried to schedule them all to get together to pick out dresses.. it stressed me out. After that trip, my MOH offered to take care of all scheduling issues with the bridesmaids!! So I sent her their emails/phone numbers and she deals with that stress! They are her problem now.. which makes me soooo sure that I made the right choice for a MOH.
I'm in the midst of asking my 9 BM plus 1 MOH. I'm definitely a more the merrier person and my friends are the same way. Even though I have sisters, friends from HS and friends from college, they all are important to me and I can't imagine not having all of them there! It may be a lot, but I want to be surrounded by the women who make me who I am today.
i have 6 and it is defs stressful! my sister is my MOH and won't help with anything. 2 other BM's are out of state. the other 3 are the busiest people i know. the finally all just ordered their dresses!
I started out with four and had more dramma then now that i have 7 lol.
I only have my sis as MOH and my niece as BM, peopel I love, no drama, less expense
I have 6, and while it HAS been a bit difficult (at the start, I had one who seemed to want to prove to the rest she knew me the best, etc) its been wonderful. Once they all realized they allknew me in and out, they worked together to make wonderful things happen and have been 100% supportive of everything. There is probably some jealousy going around within your circle, it will pass 
It's so helpful to read about everyone's experiences! I'm thinking about having 7 as well, even though FI only has 4-5 guys in mind. We don't really care about it being uneven so that's not the issue here. The thing is, everyone has been telling me to KISS- keep it simple, sweetie/stupid, and I want to be stubborn and not have to conform to a number. I don't want to re-assign some of the girls to a role like "poetry-reader" or "guestbook person", so we'll see how it goes! I should really iron out the bridal party soon so I can start making other decisions! :P
I have 8 bridesmaid, 1 MaidOH, 1MatronOH...i hope it's not too complicated as I don't have the most pleasant attitude and they all know this, so we'll see!
I really wanted a MOH (my sister) only, but my mom really wanted a bridal party.... so I ended up with a MOH and 4 bridesmaids. So far, it's worked out okay. Honestly, I'm really close to one of them and the other three are great friends, but they have a lot going on right now (one lives 6 hours away with her family, one is helping take care of her niece, one does contract work and has to travel a lot). I haven't had any drama, but I don't think I really expected to anyways. I can't believe some of the other stories that are posted on here.
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