Severe Anxiety/Panic 1 Month Before

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It is completely normal.  You are used to living at home and take moving with getting marriedand living with someone knew and it’s no wonder you are anxious!  Being in a relationship is always a work in progress.  It isn’t one and done, you always have to work on it and as long as the two of you are committed to it, then you can work through anyything.

There is nothing wrong with you, I was having severe night terrors before our wedding.

Just try to breathe, maybe get a massage or facial to destress and just breathe!  It will all be okay!

Post # 5
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@wbee0114:  I agree that it is absolutely nerve wracking! I am anxious to begin with – but every once in a while I’ll be like, OMG I am commiting the REST OF MY LIFE to this one person! It is scary and I’m glad to hear someone else thinks like me! I am like you – I can’t imagine my life without my FI and have no desire to not be with him….but marriage and that huge of a committment is terrifying sometimes! 

I am still 6 months out, but I know my anxiety will get worse as it gets closer. To be honest, both FI and I have kind of been like, “Ok, we’re ready for the wedding to get here – be over – and then we can move on with our lives!”

Planning is stressful. Don’t forget to take some time for yourself to relax! 

Post # 7
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@wbee0114:  Believe me, it happens to a lot of women…I was one of them lol You are right, its not something that a lot of people talk about unfortunately. But let’s face it, getting married is one of the BIGGEST life transitions ever! I had a hard time with the thought of leaving my parents house as well and it took a little bit of adjustment time once DH and I started living together, bc I was sad I wasn’t with my parents. But having our own space now, coming home to him every night, going to sleep next to him and waking up next to him, its so wonderful.

You’re going to go through so many emotions over the next month, but honestly once you get that dress on…you are going to be so excited and so happy. I didn’t have one ounch of anxiety that day…and I went through similar emotions during my engagement that are you are experiencing right now. So take a breather, realize its normal and that you are just taking your marriage seriously, as people should!

Also, this site might comfort you as well. Sheryl Paul has such great insight on major life transitions. Good Luck! http://conscious-transitions.com/

Post # 8
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Hey, you’re not alone. I got it at the beginning of our engagement – it was pretty bad. Like pretty-much-caused-major-strife-just-with-my-own-fears bad.

Once I realized what was happening, I immediately plunked myself into weekly counseling to help myself get over it (the first thing he said to me was “You are fine – plenty of people have these thoughts, and this sounds like it’s normal for Cakey” which made me feel a million times better)

Took a couple of months but I eventually resolved it with his help and on my own. I still get nervous but not as badly. I mean… getting married is kind of a big deal!

And BTW – it looks like there’s lots of major life events going on for you right now! I am not surprised that it’s sort of messing with your system – you’ve shaken up the status quo! That’s want happened to me, until I got myself to a place which was the new normal (can I just say “my new quo?” I really want to haha)

There will always be “what ifs” in your life! But it’s no use dwelling on them… some may never come to pass! You just have to get yourself to a place where you can roll with the punches and still stop to smell the flowers (because life would be no fun otherwise)
You have to start making an effort to break up any negative/anxious thoughts – it’s hard but when you get the hang of it, it’s very liberating.

Here’s a good mantra/quote/reminder to think positively that I love, which I think would be wonderful for you: “Worrying is meditating on a bad outcome”

Post # 9
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

At around the one month mark I fell into a deep depression. I snapped at my FI all the time, I cried every day, I had severe anxiety. It wasn’t about my FI, but more about the wedding and the fact that I’m moving to a new country afterward. I think it’s rather normal to have some sort of emotional stress during the engagement period.

Post # 10
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@wbee0114:  I am so glad you posted this and other ladies are commenting. Sometimes I feel like people who are engaged are all “Omg I have no doubts about anything, I love him so much, etc. etc.” It’s nice to hear there are other ladies who have the same completely rational fears that I do! 

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