Sex and stuff.

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

I’m intimately familiar with a shy guy like that. My poor goody box just sits in the closet collecting dust. 🙁

Post # 7
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I actually want to follow this if anyone says anything. Totally vanilla doesn’t even begin to describe it. *sigh* I was so kinky and fun and confident with exes. Annnnnnnnnnd now Mr. Vanilla. Who doesn’t even have any other turn ons except kissing. Seriously, wtf?!

I wish I could tell you what to do but I don’t know myself. Is there room for me to join the ice cream party? I can bring tissues and marachino cherries…

 

Post # 9
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Jacksonville Inn

My partner is a woman, so I don’t know about the male side of all this. However, my girl is super shy as well. But, she wants to make me happy and that’s the card I play. If I want to try something new I initiate it and make sure she knows how happy it would make me. I don’t know if that’s an option for you but it works well for us. Afterwards she’s super proud of herself for making me happy, which makes her more willing to try new things.

 

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Post # 10
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

My guy is not shy, he’s very outgoing actually. I am too. And I know that deep down both of us have some interesting fantasies. But after 2 and a half years our sex life is the same thing over and over again. He bought me a vibrator once a couple years ago so we could play with it and we never did! I don’t know how to break out of it. Why are we both so shy about expressing ourselves in the bedroom?! 

Post # 11
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Irish2014:  That could be a good try. I *have* been able to get FI to open up to some new things and he has said he is willing to try anything I want to try once. The biggest obstacle right now for him is that he didn’t really have any partners before me (he did but one was oral only and the other was really booooring), so he has noooooooooo idea what he likes! And everything I’ve tried that has worked with past dudes just doesn’t float FI’s boat. o_O; It’s weird.

What kind of cookies, OP? Oreos? With milk? Otis Spunkmeyer??

Post # 13
Member
2042 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Laurenskii:  I was the “shy” one.  FI wanted to do things I was not even aware existed and he told me about it and had me read about it.  I was still kind of unsure.  Eventually he bought stuff for it and told me what he wanted me to do.  I did it.  Now I am a pro at it.  I will initiate it all the time.  He loves it which makes me love it! I love him and I want to make him happy so I was up for whatever he wanted.

Post # 14
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

@Laurenskii:  what if one of your pre-wedding parties is a “passion party” or a sex toy party?  Blame it on a friend- say she suggested the party and insisted.  You don’t have to go crazy… even a blindfold or some sexy lingere is enough to get his wheels turning and will be a non-threatening way to suggest that you want to spice it up!  Or, if a sex toy party is too much- throw a lingere party as part of your bachlorette!  It will help both of you change it up.

Post # 15
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

My FI is not shy at all, neither am I. We always try new things.  We have a locked box full of fun toys that we use sometimes.  he uses them on me, or i use them on myself in front of him. It turns him on.  We frequenly visit the adult store together too.  Maybe suggest going into one of those places?  But, we tend to go in there after a night at the bar, drunk, makes it more fun…and we end up coming home with more toys than what we wanted to. LOL

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