Sex before or after "I love you"?

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: When did your SO first tell you (s)he loved you?
    Before we slept together : (85 votes)
    33 %
    After we'd slept together : (164 votes)
    63 %
    During the deed! : (7 votes)
    3 %
    Other? : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @mrssrm: He told me a few weeks in, after he asked me to be his g/f, lol. I kept that man waiting for months before we had sex, hehe 🙂

    Post # 3
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    double post


    Post # 5
    8476 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Oops I voted wrong (story of my life lol).  I thought you were asking if I said I love you before or after, I said it after.  My husband has been in love with me since before I even knew he liked me (we met online playing WoW).  I guess sex is just really important to me, so I don’t know if I’ll love someone romantically until after I have sex with them.

    Post # 6
    1189 posts
    Bumble bee

    @mrssrm:  My sweetheart and I hooked up plenty before we said ‘I love you.’ But… we knew within about 2 weeks of dating that we wouldn’t be dating anyone else for the rest of our lives. Tongue Out

    Post # 7
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    We had been together over a year before SO said I love you … and yes we had sex way before then!

    Post # 8
    7506 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    With my DH, we said our “I love you’s” before we had sex. It definitely made it more special to me 🙂

    Post # 9
    1871 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Well after… we had been together for 7 months before we said I love you and we had been intimate for pretty much that whole time. We were long distance for 6 months of the relationship so I think that had a little to do with the wait to say “I love you.”

    Post # 10
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    We were FWB before we got together as a couple so sex way before we said ‘i love you’ however we had been very good friends before so would ‘love you’ but weren’t ‘in love’

    Post # 11
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I entirely dispise the idea of “making a man wait for a fuck” We had sex on the first date. I didn’t know his last name, I liked him, I wanted to screw him, he liked me, he wanted to screw me, so we did. We said “I love you” 3 months after having sex for the first time. 

    Post # 12
    1335 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @mrssrm:  FI and I met at a party, where we were pretty (OK, a lot intoxicated).  He had just moved next door to the party thrower.  One thing led to another, and we well, we slept together that very.same.night.  I definitely suspected I was going into a one-night stand situation, and at that point, did not care 🙂

    The next morning, we chatted for a bit (can you say AWKWARD!), and I told him I needed to go, as I was meeting a friend to watch the football game and have lunch (I wanted to get outta there anyways, and not linger).  He asked if he could join along too?  At that point, I found it a bit odd that he wanted to hang out, but since I did not want to be the b*tch, agreed.

    I am so glad I agreed, because from that moment on, we were inseperable.  Six weeks later we were officially a couple, and 4 months after that, we said ‘I love you’ for the first time.  Not a storybook romance by any means, but definitely ‘perfect’ in my book!

    Post # 13
    1130 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @mrssrm:  Oooh, looks like I am in the minority here. FH told me he loved me long before we had sex. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

    Post # 14
    9696 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    We had sex first. He told me he loved me very early though and we were engaged after 3 months.

    ETA: I don’t think sex and love have to go together. I certainly haven’t loved every man I’ve had sex with – and it was still great sex!

    Post # 15
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    We had sex first. A month later we said I love you 🙂

    Post # 16
    2855 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Well, I was FI’s first girlfriend and we started dating April our senior year of high school. I told him I loved him the night before he was leaving for college (so just shy of 5 months of dating). I had known for longer but was nervous and figured I had nothing to lose since he was leaving anyway. He told me he loved me too.

    We had sex after we’d been together for 9 months. We were each other’s firsts, and we were also away at school, so it took longer than it might have otherwise.

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