Post # 1
I do not currently live with my Fiance but we do have a sexual relationship. The issue is very few times have we actually spent a whole night together. His excuse is not wanting people he knows from church to see my car parked at his place all night long. He feels the same way about not wanting his car parked at my place all night long as well. So when we have sex we say our goodnights by midnight but it is often as early as 9 or 10. I am starting to become kind of resentful about this. I feel it is taking away from intimacy in a big way.
Has anyone been in this situation before?
Does anyone ever have sex with their SO and not spend the night?
Post # 3
I would personally have a problem with my SO wanting the benefits but wanting to “hide” the nature of your relationship from others. It’s deceitful, not to mention disrespectful to you.
To answer your question, I was sleeping with Darling Husband before I moved in with him (when we were engaged), but I would still spend the night when I could.
Post # 4
Hmmm…I take it hes quite religious. I would feel put out by this too but at the same time if his church family means alot to him then I can see *slightly* where he is coming from. My husband and I had a sexual relationship and most of the time I didn’t stay over. Although, I was quite young and still living at home. BUT if you are both older (meaning out of mom and dads OR mom and dad don’t have set rules anymore) then I would definelty bring this up to him and say that you know he means well and you like that he is taking the moral aspect so seriously but its kind of got to be an all or nothing thing. Either he needs to not care if his church finds out or the sex needs to stop. Good luck! This is a very interesting post!
Post # 5
I understand your feelings. I used to feel really awkward if I didn’t spend the night. I agree with you, it eliminates a huge part of the intimacy. Why can’t he pick you up and then take you home in the morning? Fiance liked to pick me up when I lived in the dorms. 🙂
Post # 6
I understand where he is coming from. I used to be in a very similar situation as my family is also very religious. I think it’s a good idea for him to pick you up…then he might not feel so awkward about it.
Post # 7
Tell him this can easily be solved by him going celibate instead of this hiding and sneaking nonsense
Post # 8
I wouldn’t be much of a fan of that reasoning either. And agree it can definitely detract from the emotional aspects. While my now husband and I *cough* had a sexual relationship before developing anything else, sleeping over was always part of the package. This is despite the fact that the church he belonged to back then would have definitely disapproved had they known. @youhavemyheart:‘s suggestion seems like a good compromise!
Post # 9
I agree with the above PPs. If he doesn’t want to pick you up, then you can determine what the actual reason is. If he’s okay with that idea and it works for you and helps him “save face” or whatever he is trying to do…then I guess that’s alright. I just think it’s silly and immature for him to seem ashamed of that. I understand that religion and sex are hot topics, but honesty is valued in both.
Post # 10
@Aubergold: booya. Zackly, that will instantly put a stop to his dip then dive routine.
Post # 11
@Aubergold: exactly! Otherwise he could come pick you up so there is no extra car at his place. Time to stop being such a hypocrite- worried about what the church people will think, but having illicit sex.
Post # 12
@panterapeach: haha, I love the “booya!”
@julies1949: OK?!!! shoot.
Post # 13
Something about that does not seem right! That is so hypocritical.
Post # 14
@Aubergold: Sorry if my post led to any misinterpretation.
I only meant the “exactly” to reference your previous post.
The rest was directed at the OP.
Post # 15
@julies1949: hahaha, I mean “ok?!” as in yes I agree with you! You know like when someone says “Ok! you go girl!”. Sorry Im from NYC and that’s the lingo, haha. I knew what you meant.
Post # 16
My fiance and I had to confine our relationship to 1-2 hour periods of time we could snatch when we were alone, since we live separately from each other, but not on our own. We very rarely get to spend the night together. : / It sucks, I know.