Sex is really painful…advice, experiences?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

There’s no reason at all to be embarassed. There are a number of conditions out there that can cause painful sex. Your gynecologist will be able to help you. It’s not your fault.

Post # 4
Member
3989 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Where is the pain?  Abdomen or your actual vagina?

 

Post # 5
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Kalisia:  I understand why you’re embarrassed but there’s no need. We’re all human here, right? 

I have no idea what might be the cause of painful sex for you but if it wasn’t like that before I guess having a doctor look at you “down there” is a really good idea. And don’t feel bad about having no sex drive, I think it’s completely normal that you don’t want to have sex if it hurts you.

I hope your doctor will be able to help you. Fingers crossed!

 

Post # 6
Member
1681 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You should absolutely not be embarrassed. In my eyes, pain during sex is no different from any other pain. It’s totally natural. Especially with your husband.

I too have a lot of pain during sex. For me, it’s a burning/stinging and I plan to talk to my doc too. Don’t assume the worst! It could be anything. (And you’re not alone.. it totally kills my desire too 🙁  )

What kind of pain are you having? You mentioned having difficulty finding the hold/keeping him in. Is he the biggest you’ve ever been with? Perhaps you have some sort of size compability issue. Not that I know much of anything about these things, but it’s just a thought.

 

Post # 7
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Kalisia:  You said y’all had trouble finding the hole, are you sure you found the right one? I’ve heard where people somehow managed to get it in the urethra without realizing it other than the amount of pain.

Post # 8
Member
939 posts
Busy bee

I would talk to your ob/gyn about it, it is very possible that you have pcos or something like that. I’ve never had pain with sex until about a year ago when I started having problems with my reproductive organs in general. I was diagnosed with PID, but my doctor now thinks the pain was likely due to endometrisis and I’m having laproscopic surgery next month. I also saw a physical therapist for my pelvic floor and she worked wonders! I had been having a lot of pain, and every time we had sex it felt like I was a virgin again, which was not fun! don’t be emabrased, this happens to a lot of women and I know after I talked to a few people about it I was suprised how many women I knew who had similar issues. 

Post # 9
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  Yep, it happens somehow. Here’s an exerpt from the book Emergency! True stories from the nation’s ERs.

Cringe Warning, do not read below unless strong of stomach


“The seventy-year-old female patient had a history of frequent urinary-tract infections. She had a fever and slight back pain, so I ordered a catheterized urine specimen to be sent to the lab. I went on to other patients, but the nurse soon returned and said she had tried to cath the woman but couldn’t find her urethra-the opening to the bladder. She had asked several other nurses to help her cath the lady, but no one could find the urethral opening. I decided to help, and went to the patient’s bedside. I found an elderly, pleasant woman who told me about the history of frequent urinary problems and told me she was childless.

I examined the woman’s perineum and identified the larger orifice of what appeared to be the vaginal vault, and searched above this for the urethral opening. I couldn’t find an opening either, but as I looked, some urine trickled out of the vagina. Suspecting a fistula connecting the bladder to the vagina, or an embedded urethral meatus, I decided to look inside the vagina with a speculum. As I readied to do this, however, I noticed something underneath the vagina, on the perineum, and looked closer. I found the patient’s vagina and intact hymen under what I had assumed was the vagina. I realized that the upper opening she was using as a vagina was in fact the patient’s urethra. I asked the woman if she had any problems with sexual relations with her husband.

“Not really. It hurt the first year or so, but it was fine after that.”

She had been married for fifty-two years.”

Post # 10
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Eckle:  omg… I feel so TERRIBLE FOR THIS POOR WOMAN. 

Post # 11
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Kalisia:  Is it his size? Is he bigger than the other men you had been with previously? Where exactly is it hurting and what does the pain feel like?

Post # 12
Member
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Could be an infection of some sort.

Post # 13
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@tampalove35:  I know, I hope the doctors told her she was doing sex wrong…do you think there’s reconstructive surgery for the urethra?

Post # 14
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Go to the doctor.  If there’s an infection, PCOS, or some other biological reason for this, your doctor should be able to catch it.

Post # 15
Member
1969 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@Eckle:  Poor lady! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so awful in my life.

Post # 16
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Does it mysteriously seem to have something to do with your cycle? In the several days leading up to my period, my lady bits are so sensitive around the outside that sex is very painful. It’s one of the ways I know the crimson wave will be coming on soon.

Also, are you sure that you’re lubricated enough? You might be too dry. I’d suggest using lube or spit.

He could also be hitting the cervix if he’s on the longer side.

It’s hard to answer the question because you’re not terribly specific about where the pain is.

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