Post # 1
Our sex life is pretty much non-existant right now. I have been with my husband for a few years now, but we haven’t been married very long. I was on the birth control pill for several years, so I know that had a lot to do with my sex drive being crappy. I was under the impression that once I stopped taking the pill, my sex drive would bounce back since I don’t have all those hormones anymore. Well, that hasn’t been the case at all. I haven’t been on the pill for at least 6 months now, and my sex drive is nowhere to be found. It’s not like I’m not attracted to my husband, because I am. I just never feel like having sex, and I know this will ruin our relationship if it continues. My husband doesn’t complain about it or anything, but I know he’s not happy wiith it.
Maybe it’s just that I don’t feel sexy? I rarely buy myself anything, such as nice clothes, etc. I have only 2 pairs of jeans I can wear, and I have just a handful of nice shirts. It seems like I always throw on a hoodie and baggy clothes when I’m hanging around the house. Maybe that’s a part of it?
I’ve also thought maybe it’s just a personal thing, like maybe I’m going through depression of some sort? I don’t know though, I just want to fix it.
Has anyone else gone through this when coming off of the pill? Or just in general? How did you fix it? I feel like such a sh*tty wife. :'(
Post # 3
The pill MAJORLY messes with my sex drive. I can’t wait for the day I can get off it. But I also noticed when I gained some weight, my sex drive went down. A lot of the reason for that was because I couldn’t fit into most of my clothes, and hence, didn’t like the way I looked when going out. I would definitely talk to a doctor though, because I know how frustrating it can be when you want to have sex, but you can’t make yourself WANT to… 🙁
Post # 4
First – I am sorry that you are going through this.
Secondly – The pill did probably made your hormones all wackadoo & I would try talking toa doctor. If they don’t go away soon, there might be another underlying issue.
Have you ever had intimacy problems in the past? What was your sex life BEFORE birth control. Don’t feel crappy. Talk to your husband & let him know what’s going on. Maybe you should try buying yourself something sexy for him & see if that helps?
Post # 5
Definitely talk to him about it.
I think it’s probably a combination of the hormones still screwing with your libido and a lowered libido in general due to stagnancy over time – but you can definitely pick things back up!
Pick out some cute outfits and intimate clothes together (or go out with some girlfriends and buy something to surprise him with). Change up your routine – if you’re normally in sweats, then set a goal to dress up at least one day a week, even if you don’t really do anything. Sometimes on weekends I get dressed up and do my makeup, even if I’m not planning on going anywhere. It’s just a nice self esteem boost and I like the way it makes me feel.
Talk to your DH about each other’s fantasies. Maybe there’s a position or a location you’ve always wanted to try, or roleplaying. You can buy cheesy but fun “romance” board games online or from certain stores that give you direct ideas and questions to help spice things up.
If you can get yourself excited about sex again, then your libido will probably return and things will go back to normal 🙂
Post # 6
I will add – I was like this with my ex, both on the pill and off. He also suffered from depression, so we went around each other in cycles and it was really frustrating. The few times it really bumped back up were times we both started trying new things.
Post # 7
@karenlinebarger: I was on the pill for about 7 years, so I always worried that there would be some issues when I came off of them. I’m concerned that they could have damaged my reproductive system in some way, but hopefully that is just me being a worry wart. It’s hard to really say what my actual sex drive was before, because I got on them when I was 17, so my hormones were probably crazy then. I’ve talked to him about it a little bit before, but I think he beats himself up about it – as in, he thinks that I’m just not attracted to him anymore. He doesn’t really see it as being *my* problem, he blames himself for it. 🙁 Buying myself something sexy might help though.. I do have some sexy stuff I could probably put on, lol.
@MissCalifornia: Lots of good tips. 🙂 We do have a little toy/lingerie shop here.. maybe we should check that out sometime. I think maybe I have also just gotten used to not having sex, so maybe I am a little more shy about it now. We have incorporated toys/role playing/ etc before, I actually prefer that kind of thing really. It also seems like I loosen up once I have had a couple of drinks, but I don’t want it to always have to be like that, ya know?