- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
So, FI and I have been together, living together, for 5 years, engaged almost one, and have two kids, 4 yrs and 20 months. Our relationship is pretty much void of all intimacy whatsoever! Like most relationships we started off hot and heavy then got pregnant, which we were happy with, but that’s pretty much where things went downhill. I get why. Long nights, early mornings, work, bills, life.
He’s affectionate, very much so! Tells me he loves me all the time, we go to dinner when we can, we kiss(peck), hug, hang out on the couch after the kids are in bed, but that’s it. I always go to bed before him; we haven’t gone to bed together in years. I know he isn’t cheating, I very strongly know that much. All the more reason for me to wonder what the heck is going on!?? I know he was and probably still is watching a considerable amount of porn, which I spoke to him about a year ago that ended in a fight and him walking out on the kids and me! I’m not a prude, but when you’re staying up late and getting up early to watch porn when you haven’t laid a finger on me in almost a year! Oh helllll nooo!
We obviously worked things out and subsequently got engaged that following Christmas, but nothing’s changed! As of November we will have had sex 3 times in an entire year! Unacceptable. If the Dugger’s can find time to keep having sex in house full of 20 kids, so can we!
I know I need to talk to him about it, but I almost feel like I don’t even care anymore. I’m already in the throngs of a deep seeded affair with my vibrator anyways. Part of me feels like it’s just a phase of young parenthood and we’ll get through it. I even mentioned the possibility of low testosterone to him: lack of energy, lack of sex drive, 30 something, kids, it all fits, but he won’t consider it.
I’ve tried initiating, but he turns me down every time, I’ve tried glamming it up, no panties under my dress, afternoon delight while the kids are napping, nothing. And trust me he is not gay, I am not his beard. lol!
With an impending wedding next August I worry that if this very important part of our lives together doesn’t get some attention it’ll be a deal breaker.
Has anyone else had to deal with lack of sex from their SO? What do I do?