Sex/oral.. how often do you and your significant other have sex?

posted 2 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010


I don’t have this problem but it could be that you husband’s work schedule is taking a toll on your sex life. Foreplay adds time to sex and maybe he wants to get it over with so that he can sleep. 

Have you tried to discuss this issue with him? Remember that sex is about communication. 

To answer you question, we make love about 3-4 times a week. I require a lot of foreplay for my vaginismus and my husband is very good at helping me relax…oral is usually a part of that. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  amiona.
Post # 3
1389 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

“Remember that sex is about communication.”

THIS. If you feel like your sex life is lacking, you need to tell your husband exactly how you’re feeling! Maybe he wants to skip oral just because it’s time consuming, maybe there’s another reason. You won’t know unless you ask. It doesn’t matter how your sex life compares to other couples’, all that matters is the two of you feeling fulfilled. Maybe a good compromise for doing oral would be some 69. Maybe you just need to figure out, together, why he’s not as into it as he used to be, and how to fix that. You need more than P in V to feel fulfilled in your sex life, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post # 4
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

EMILY526:  We never do oral so I can’t weigh in on that (I hate doing it and don’t like recieivng it so he’s fine with taking it off the table completely). We had way more sex before we got engaged. We were doing it multiple times a day before getting engaged but in the last 2 or 3 months its been maybe once or twice a week. He is working nights now which I think make a huge difference. I’m hoping it picks up again once he adjusts to his routine a bit more. I can see why your DH’s work may affect the amount of sex you have, he must be exhausted! 

As for advice, I find that wearing sexy underwear helps me to get into the mood and want to instigate things a lot more and it motivates him to get over being tired. Ultimately if you are unsatisfied you can trying bringing new things into the bedroom to spice things up, and I would recommend as PP’s suggested to talk to him about it! 

Post # 5
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

As an EMT… believe him!  It’s the most tiring/unappreciated job I’ve ever had, combined with the actual experiences/sights on the job that you can never really leave behind at work, and take home with you.


Communication is key.  It definitely takes two to tango, but at the same time, certain people are comfortable doing certain things.  Perhaps you can find something that is just as pleasing to you both.

Post # 6
35 posts

EMILY526:  our sex life was crazy when we first started together.  Several times a day, on the counter and stairs, and all the crazy stuff.  We moved in and over time it slowed down.  I don’t keep track, but I would guess it’s 4 or 5 times per week.  We have a morning quickie at least once a week.  Good luck to you.  

Post # 7
1828 posts
Buzzing bee

I think its normal for things to slow down the longer you are with someone. I agree with all PPs that communication is key and you need to speak with him about how you feel. 

My SO and I recently went through a pretty slow patch due to work commitments and timing. We spoke about it and both agreed we wanted it to happen more so we made a 30 day pact. Every day for 30 days there has to be some form of sexual intimacy. Whether it’s sex or oral for either party (or both) there just has to be something. The first week it feels like a chore because one of you will be tired but will ‘have to participate’ but pretty quickly it brings the excitement back!! 

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