Sexual Harassment – Help!

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Cummins59:  I would tell the boss you’re not comfortable visiting him anymore and that someone else will need to take him on as a client.

Post # 5
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@SummerOfLove:  I was going to say the same thing.

Post # 6
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You already told the dealer that you would not deal with Joe one-on-one, and unless I am reading incorrectly, you haven’t seen him since November. I think I would let it go after making sure that someone else was assigned to him.

ETA: I don’t think telling your coworkers about this was a good idea.

 

Post # 7
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow… it started off as sounding ‘ok’, nearly crossing the line but still ‘ok’ (but the hug is a bit sketchy!) but then… wow. 

 

You did the right thing. As long as he’s allocated to someone else…

 

I know what it’s like working in a male dominated field but thankfully only the very small minority cross the line!

Post # 8
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It’s already been dealt with – the dealer will go with you from now on. I work in a male dominated industry too and stuff like this happens whether it should or not. I don’t stress over it nor do I report it because it goes nowhere. The only person it will negatively impact is you. Like it or lump it, that’s generally how it plays out. You have no proof and you didn’t stand up for yourself so it’s really not worth making an issue over it. Small things. 

If it can negatively impact my career and has no real potential for anything positive to come from it, what’s the point? Moral high ground? Great, but being unemployed or a social pariah doesn’t sound too appealing. Obviously do what you want but be prepared for any fallout and make sure it’s worth it to you. 

Maybe if you had of said something he would know the comments were unwelcome and he’d stop. For all he knows, you didn’t mind. 

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MsW-to-MrsM:  +1. I wouldn’t have fed the gossip train either. Let the issue die. It’s been resolved, so why be the one to drag it out? It doesn’t make sense. 

Post # 10
Member
6655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

From my understanding you in order for something to be filed as sexual harrassment you must tell the person outright that you are uncomfortable with their comments and then if they continue it is considered harrassment.

Because you did not discuss your discomfort outright with the client, I don’t think you can report him. However, because you are uncomfortable I would definitely ensure the dealer is with you the next time you must see this client.

Post # 13
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Cummins59:  “I just fear that Joe will go over my head and tell my boss I won’t service him.”

^That made me chuckle. I know it’s inappropriate, but that was funny.
 
If you don’t want to deal with Joe at all anymore, then tell your boss.

Post # 14
Member
288 posts
Helper bee

Ugh, working in a male-dominated industry. Same here, fortunately I haven’t experienced this even close to the degree you explain here. I’m really sorry that you had to experience this.

First of all, document these incidents: time, place, what happened, who you spoke with, who knows. It’s always good to keep it a paper trail. It’s a hard situation because I understand not wanting to deal with repercussions of telling a boss/deal details about he incident, but you are also not the guilty party. You should not feel embarrassed or ashamed about what HE did.

Sounds like you won’t have to deal with him anymore by yourself, which is a very good thing! Still though, that doesn’t mean Joe isn’t going to be an asshole and act like that in front of the dealer either. Are you comfortable with being firm when needed? I think you need to have body cues and phrases ready that show you’re not messing around, you’re here for business and that’s it. I’m 5’0, have a mean mug face when needed and have no problem telling people to (kindly) eff off.

Post # 16
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Cummins59:  If he does go over your head and tell your boss that you wont “service” (LOL!) him… you can explain your situation and how uncomfortable you are around/taking to him…and that since it was not physical, you did not feel the need to report him and possibly damage the company. 

Honestly, if your boss would fire you over that then your company might not be a good one to work for anyway… male dominated or not. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors