- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
So I’m in quite the pickle ladies and I hope you can give me some insight.
I work for an agricultural company which is very male dominated. I manage dealers and sell directly to clients which are farmers.
One day (in September or so) the dealer that this customer (let’s call Joe) works with said that Joe needed something and he wasn’t able to see him. It was no problem so I swung by Joes house to work with him. When I opened my laptop he saw my desktop picture which was a wedding picture of my husband and I. He says, “So how’s married life? Enjoying having sex not in sin anymore? I remember the awesome newly wed sex, now after xx years I’m lucky if I get it a few times a year!” I just stammer and laugh and change the subject. AWKWARD. Then when I got up to leave I stuck out my hand and said, “Thank you for your time Joe.” To which he replies, “Oh, we don’t have to be professional, give me a hug!” And proceeded to give me a big hug. I about RUN out of the house.
Now some background on Joe. He’s married, has kids, 20+ years older than me and is very wealthy.
I was creeped out. I told my husband and he was pretty upset. I told the dealer about the incident and he was very surprised at his actions. Being a young woman I have had plenty of “flirty” but harmless comments from clients but nothing that personal. I just blew it off and carried on.
Now it’s November and were required to visit with our customers during harvest. I stopped by Joes to ride with him during harvest. The first 5 minutes or so went fine; we discussed business, harvest and fall activities. Then it turned personal again. He commented on how he liked the company sweatshirt that the dealer had bought him. I then commented that he should buy one like I was wearing because it had a fleece lining (I unzipped my sweatshirt ((obviously I had a shirt on under it)) to show him) and he’s like, “Jesus Christ Cummins59 I thought you were going to start stripping for me! It’s not even 5pm!” I quickly turned red and changed the subject back to business. He then starts talking about how his wife has gained weight and just crap talking her. I said, “ha ha well my husband says if I fit in my dress in 20 years he’ll buy me a 3 carat diamond.” He looks at me and says, “Well I could buy you that right now!” (Insert awkward laugh) CHANGE THE SUBJECT. Then he starts asking how old I am, saying how he’s been faithful for xx years, how he would have pursued me and had thought about it before I was married, how he wanted to call me when his wife was gone and he would have parked my truck in the garage…
At that last comment I’m like WELL, I need to leave now!! I felt so dirty and I don’t know, violated? He never touched me but holy hell did he make me uncomfortable!
So I told my husband about the second incident. He is PISSED. I told the dealer that normally works with Joe that I will not deal with him anymore unless he is there with me. I didn’t go into details with the dealer because hell, I’m horribly embarrassed!! I never reported it to my boss, only my husband and close friend know about it.
Now it’s January and I’m still terribly disturbed by these two incidents. I confided in two of my male coworkers and they are ready to drive to his house and kick ass. They think I should report him to my boss ASAP. I KNOW I should but I’m worried that if he does, he’ll talk to Joe and he’ll ruin my name. Joe is a good size client but that doesn’t matter. At this point I don’t care if I lose the account. I’m more worried about Joe trashing my name in the industry (which is VERY tight knit) and twisting things around. I don’t want to ruin my dealers name either. I know I shouldn’t have to deal with harassment but I’m just nervous of how much Joe will blow up.