Post # 1
Just have to get this off my chest. Yesterday did NOT go well. It has been getting colder here, and my fiance likes to sleep with this tiny little thin blanket as a comforter. I have been pretty lenient with allowing him to control the thermostat, telling him that as long as I am comfortable then I would be good with whatever he chooses. What a mistake that was….
Last month I was freezing one night, literally. He couldn’t care less, and he simply told me to GET UP and get another blanket for myself. Well I am already f*cking cold so why would I want to get up freezing my arse off to grab the blanket? I caved in and grabbed the damn blanket. Fell asleep angry wondering why he couldn’t do one simple thing for me by either turning the cold-ass A/C down or grabbing me a blanket.
Last night I got in bed and crawled up under his thin blanket. Got cold INSTANTLY. Felt the a/c kick on. I asked him if it was the heat and he said yes. I said “thank goodness”. Then I noticed the air was blowing cold. I said “the air is blowing cold” and he said nothing. Then I said “Is it actually the A/C?” and he said “Yes because i set it at 75 and it’s still hot in here!!”.
I couldn’t help but think of how selfish this man must be. No regard for my comfort whatsoever, all that matters is his own. He won’t even compromise – I’ve tried. He refuses to “split the difference” on the temp, and he isn’t going to put an actual comforter on the bed. I was so damn pissed that I got up, grabbed my pillow and started to head for the guest bedroom to sleep there. Turns out I couldn’t use the guest bed because he had put a bunch of stuff on top of it while trying to clean, and honestly I didn’t feel like moving it all. So i grabbed a comforter and went BACK to the bed he was in. Put the comforter only on my half, and finally got some sleep.
I shouldn’t have to do this!! This is exactly what he wanted me to do all along, and I feel like by doing that I just rewarded his selfish behavior…
Something has to give, and he won’t budge. I am all for compromise, heck I even BEG him to compromise and he won’t. I feel it is extremely selfish of him 🙁 🙁
Post # 3
Same situation for me and opposite circumstances. SO has been trying to turn the a/c off and sleep with the windows open because its cooling off a little bit. Well….last night it was HOT! SO was sweating, I was very uncomftorable…so I went and closed the windows and turned the a/c on. SORRY SWEETIE! Two people live here!! UGH
Post # 4
My husband loves it cold too. However, if I tell him to turn off a fan or close the window, he does. If I am cold, he cuddles or gives me all the blankets, lol. It hasn’t been a huge issue for us, certainly not something we fight about. We have been known to have the fireplace in our room on and the fan beside the bed blowing on him, lol.
OP, it is a small issue but he should still be willing to compromise. It is not his way or the highway. If anything, he should go in the basement if he is so hot or else you could always be helpful and dump some ice water over his inconsiderate head 🙂
Post # 5
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Could you get a twin comforter for yourself so it won’t have to be on his side of the bed too? ?I wouldn’t be able to even sleep if I were that cold! or get a comforter and he can sleep on top of it and you under!
Post # 6
I’d just get a comforter for my side of the bed. I sleep like crap when I’m hot so I can see his point of view too.
Post # 7
@MrsPanda99: Thank you so much MrsPanda!! I have certainly thought about dumping the icewater on him… And you really are lucky to have a hubby who will cuddle up to you to keep you warm. If I am too cold, my FI will back away and won’t cuddle up too much at all because he says I am too cold 🙁 🙁
@whoa_its_ash: That is kinda what I resorted to last night when I grabbed the comforter and only put it on my side of the bed. But I was just angry I had to do that in the first place because I felt that by doing that I was the ONLY one compromising.
Post # 8
@GonnaBeMrsB: Some places carry these heated matress pads. It’s like an electric blanket, but each person can control their side of the pad, so while I like to sleep in an igloo, DH likes to sleep in a sauna, so this works best for us. I couldn’t allow hi mto sleep with more blankets becuase he would get hot in the middle of the night and ball them in the middle of my back, and I’d wake up with horrible back pain, but if it was kept too cold he would toss and turn to keep warm, ultimately disturbing my sleep (and his own).
So the heated matress pad was the only thing that has worked.
Post # 9
@GonnaBeMrsB: That makes no sense! If he is always hot, he should love having your cold body next to him, lol. My husband always says I am lucky to always be so cool and I say he is lucky to always be so warm. I literally use him for his body heat and then push him away when I get too hot 😛 I also have a puppy I cuddle with on my other side.
You should agree to a set temperature in the house – that is what we have done. AC is set to a certain temperature in the summer, and heat is set to a specific temperature in the winter. If either of us is too hot or too cold we take measures other than changing the house temperature, i.e. a fan, an extra blanket, cuddling, whatever.
Messed up sleep really messed up your day! He is a jerk face.
Post # 10
@megz06: Oooh I will definitely have to look into that!! I love the idea of a heated mattress pad that has separate controls on each side.
Last night the low was 49. Just HOW THE HELL could he have been HOT?? UGH…. still ranting I suppose, LOL…
Post # 11
He usually is the one who controls it but he will adjust accordingly if I say I’m too cold or hot.
Post # 12
I’m going to be the voice of dissent. I think you are WAY overreacting. If you are cold, why should your DH have to get up and get you a blanket? Go get it yourself. If you are cold in bed, and DH is comfortable, just get another blanket.
If you are cold, it is easy to fix – wear a sweatshirt, get another blanket, etc. If he is hot, there is nothing he can do to fix it.
I say this as a person who is ALWAYS cold. DH is generally comfortable or hot. If it’s 75 degrees in the house, I have a blanket covering me. I can fix it. He can’t. So I wear more clothes and use more blankets.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@GonnaBeMrsB: I wish I had advice for you. I don’t have this problem at all. It’s always hot here (Florida), and I love it really cold at night. My boyfriend is pretty much okay with anything. We keep it at 70 degrees at night, we have a medium thickness blanket, and if one of us is cold, the other one will cuddle up to them. If for some reason I’m still hot, one of us will get up and turn the AC down, or we’ll adjust the blanketing accordingly. If I wake up in the middle of the night and I’m cold, I’ll wake him up so he’ll cuddle with me to make me warmer. I’d just have a talk with your fiance and tell him that you’re upset, and that you guys need to compromise some more.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
Can’t you just wear heavier clothes to bed or make the extra blanket a permanent fixture? Some people just CAN’T sleep when it’s too warm- 75 would be too hot for me to sleep. It’s not like he can sleep with a lighter blanket if it’s warmer. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect you to sleep with a different blanket than him.
Post # 15
@GonnaBeMrsB: if i were you, i would make the bed up with what you needed on it; top sheet, thin blanket, comforter. if your fi does not want the comforter, he can take it off of himself. there’s no reason for you to be cold.
as for the room temperature, i think there should be a compromise. also, think about the cost to run your a/c when it’s not necessary. silly. i don’t know what you wear to bed but maybe you both need to dress accordingly. pj’s or buff.
Post # 16
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I run our thermostat for the most part because I am in charge of budgetting our utility payments. I keep it a little warmer than we both would like because we live in Florida and it’s really expensive to run your A/C below 78 degrees. That said, when it is cold outside, I run the heat really low and stack on the blankets to keep warm. I also have a heating pad for when I get really cold because he can’t stand a stuffy heated house. I can always put on more cloths/blankets to get warm but he can’t sleep if he’s hot.
My FI sleeps on top of my comforter which I change out depending on the season. He has his own lighter comforter he uses. So I can be warm and we don’t ahve to share comforters.