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I'm glad we had one, but it was a year early for us! We had a potluck barbeque and we made pitchers of sangria for everyone. It was really casual and relaxed and we just sat around chatting the whole time! It was awesome, but I get the impression you're looking for more of a party than a bbq...
...your options are endless I think! I particularly like the idea of cocktails and appetizers somewhere like a jazz bar though. They're just so fun.
IMG_0132.JPG (3227.5 KB, 27 downloads) 1 year old IMG_0091.JPG (3135.1 KB, 30 downloads) 1 year old 
I'm definitely not opposed to something along the BBQ lines, but we don't really have a house that's amenable for a party like this (outside.) Our backyard is mostly wooded and there's a pool, which takes up space. Where did you have yours?
My fiance's parents threw us a party last Labor Day weekend at their house, and we were so happy with how it came out. It was really casual and laid-back. Mostly picnic-type foods and lots of drinks and desserts :) My best advice to you would be to keep it casual. It really should just be a time to get together with family and allow each family to get to know each other, too (if they haven't already). I would also stick to inviting family and really, really close friends only.
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Hive! I am currently in the process of trying to pick a location for our engagement party. I got engaged last November, but we wanted to wait a little closer to the wedding date (Oct. 2010) to throw a party. I've got more done in regards to the actual wedding than this party! I just really have no idea WHERE to throw one. Where did you have yours? What did you do? Are you glad you had one?