Share your elopement experiences

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lauramiller17:  

We are very happy with our choice to have a destination elopement.  The circumstances that lead to that decision were not the happiest.  However, there is something to be said about getting married in one of the most beautiful locations on earth and to not have a single person to worry about, cater too or drama to deal with.  That in itself was priceless!

I sometimes wish my family could have rallied and been there to witness my wedding.  I was offering free room and board if they just flew out for 3 days, but alas they all had reasons why they could not come (no money, no vacation, “I’m scared of flying,” etc.)  So we just ended up going where we REALLY wanted – and that was the Canadian Rockies.  Why keep it in our current state if 50% of the people (my entire side) cannot show up?  It was our cue to dream big really.  That had a lot of perks!

 

1) How did you choose to elope? – Believe it or not, I have eloped twice now.  First the first marriage back in 2002, and for my marriage in 2012.  I did try to plan a big wedding for 2012, but it did not work out (my dad was dying of cancer and the event could have overlapped so we cancelled it).   I guess eloping was the default answer due to situations during each of the times.

2) How did you handle disappointment from friends/family? – There wasn’t any disappointment from anyone.  I don’t think I heard once, “Ohhh, we so wish we could have been there/been included/yadda yadda.”  Maybe we were lucky?  I do not live near any of my family, so it would be a financial burden for them to come to my wedding (plane tickets, car rental, hotels, and restaurants).  They were mostly relieved to be off the hook for traveling. I was relieved to not have to put up with all their drama and stress too.  It’s a catch 22.  It would have been nice if my family saw me get married for once (they missed it twice now), but in hindsight we could not have had such a wonderful wedding and wedding location if we had to include them.  Sometimes Plan B can be more awesome!

3) Did you miss not having others there? For each of the weddings, there were two witnesses required by law.  I had two friends for the first, and then H’s parents were there for the second wedding.  I did like having them there.  These people are as drama-free as you can get.  They were happy to tromp to anywhere in the world for us.  We gave them 15 day’s notice to be our witnesses, and they accepted.  It was also their 40th wedding anniversary that same summer so we treated them two very fancy dinners in a row and did lots of hikes together in our 2.5 days together.  I would not have been crushed if they did not make it and we were prepared to do this alone.  The photographer and wedding planner were gonig to be the witnesses anyway.  It was just a perk that H’s parents came.

4) Did you have a reception with friends/family later?  We did not have a reception with would be wedding guests.  All our good friends and family were out of town.  I did not think a party warranted them flying in.  We did have a causal potluck about a month after (only for local friends ~ 45 ppl – all of super good friends were out of state).  It was more a celebration for my recent graduation from graduate school, the new deck we put on the back of the house, last nice day of summer, and oh yeah we got married.  I did not want it to be wedding like at all.  We planned it in one day, and sent out Evites 1 week prior.  So super casual and low key.  I could have done without it, but locals were asking, “When’s the big party???” and H kind of wanted it.

5) Any other advice for us? – Try to figure what is is you two really want.  Try to rank 3-5 of your top priorities too.  When you get lost or confuse or stressed, revert back to your priorities and ask, “Does this go along with our priorities?”

Our priorities were 1) intimate, 2) somewhere with mountains in sight, 3) somewhere special.  #3 really meant a place that was special to our hearts, but we ended up going somewhere that neither of us had never been, so I guess now it is special!

Post # 4
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

1) How did you choose to elope?

Time was of the essence. Things can get real, real fast when you’re different nationalities.

 

2) How did you handle disappointment from friends/family?

What disappointment? There was some surprise, but no one seemed disappointed.

 

3) Did you miss not having others there?

Nope! We’re private people and don’t stand on ceremony. Our two witnesses (the hotelier and his wife) were wonderful and even took photos throughout. I’d not planned that, but I’m so glad they caught it all.

 

4) Did you have a reception with friends/family later?

No. See no.3. Not our bag and would have kind of cancelled out what we saw as one of elopment’s (many) perks. 

5) Any other advice for us?

You’re so freshly engaged, maybe just try and enjoy it for a little bit. No one (actually) expects you to have it all planned out yet, they’re likely just making conversation or expressing excitement at your announcement. You’ll have time to sort through what you feel like is best for both of you. (And basically ditto everything @sienna76 said on this topic!)

Post # 5
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You’re so freshly engaged, maybe just try and enjoy it for a little bit. No one (actually) expects you to have it all planned out yet, they’re likely just making conversation or expressing excitement at your announcement. You’ll have time to sort through what you feel like is best for both of you.

 

I want to second this as well!  We did not figure out a real plan for 5 whole months!  And that plan ended up changing in the end after we booked everything too.  So be flexible, don’t worry about setting plans/dates just yet, and enjoy the time period, toss around a few ideas, sit on them for a while to see how it feels, etc.  It’s funny how many people ask, “When’s the big day?” when you just got engaged!  As if you pre-planned it all while dating…

Post # 6
Member
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@lauramiller17:  

1) How did you choose to elope?

We had a planned vacation to Mexico, and one night we were sitting on the couch and he said “want to get married while we are in Mexico?” So it was a proposal as well. haha. Seriously though, we both had “traditional” weddings previously and really didn’t care to go through all of that again. Plus, we just liked the idea of it only being the two of us, and then we could shock the hell out of everyone afterwards! And we did! haha!

 

2) How did you handle disappointment from friends/family?

There wasn’t disappointment – everyone was so thrilled for us (especially knowing our histories with our ex-spouses and what they did to us). They were just so happy we found each other.

 

3) Did you miss not having others there?

Nope, not at all. It was thrilling knowing we were doing this and nobody knew about it!

 

4) Did you have a reception with friends/family later?

No. We thought about it and wanted to, but just never did. Wasn’t that big of a deal to us.

 

5) Any other advice for us?

Don’t bow to the pressure of what everyone else thinks you should do. If you want to have a traditional wedding, do it. If you want to elope, do it. But it’s not about them. If they are sad, disappointed, etc. then they can go fly a kite. 🙂

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