- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
Okay… Firstly, this is long – I apologize. Secondly, I know that I’m gonna regret writing this as soon as I hit submit, but really, I’ve just gotten to a point where I’m mad. Plain mad.
A few months ago, my best friend and I joked about the “Bride Wars” movie and how we were totally gonna wind up being that way (because of our personalities, and the pending engagements). My Fiance and I hadn’t been together long, but we were 150% sure we wanted to get married soon. She and her fiance have been togther four years and had talked about the proposal already – She’d even started planinng her wedding/picked out a wedding dress ahead of time (this was around November).
Anywho… fast forward to December… Low and behold, ala Bride Wars, I get proposed to before she does, and suddenly the “joking” doesn’t seem so much like joking anymore. She started out okay, but after a few days started to show signs of jealousy… I did what I could ot ease her mind by assuring her she’ll get the ring soon and ask her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. At this point, she’s already picked May 14th as her wedding day and me as a bridemaid. My Fiance and I haven’t settled on a date, but at this point we’re thinking September.
A few weeks roll by and we run the September date by the family… No can do – cruises and vacations galore! Soooo after much deliberating, we select August.
Then my sister in law (who I’m very close to) announces she’s pregnant and due in August. August is bust. We talk about other options and realize we don’t want to wait too long… We decide on June. June 19th, to be precise. It’s far enough away from May 14th that it won’t interfere, and won’t steal my bestie’s thunder…
With a date set, I get on the ball with planning…
At this point, the best friend has only her dress and nothing else picked out.
A few days later, I go to my venue I have in mind… Game, Set, Match. Fall instantly in love and sign the contract then and there.
Here’s where things get ugly. I text the best friend “YAY! Got a place!!”. A minute later, the best friend calls me – Literally as we’re pulling out of the parking lot. I’m thinking she wants to ask details, be excited with me, what-not.
Her immediate response after I answer is -“Just so you know now, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to come to your wedding anymore.”
I am crushed. Knife in the heart crushed.
Choking on tears I quickly get off the phone, telling her I’ll talk to her later. My happy moment is over.
So I give it a few days and finally, when I’ve calmed down enough, I call her. After an hour of going back and forth about how she can’t afford it/doesn’t want to leave her new husband/isn’t sure she’ll even be back from the honeymoon, the truth comes out. She’s mad because I picked a date before she could settle on a venue…
She’s mad because I got a venue first.
Well, now I’m pissed – so in all my girly rage I tell her she needs to decide what she wants to do any tell me quick, because if I need to find a new Maid/Matron of Honor, I need to do it soon. Suddenly, her tune changes… She’s apologetic. She’s in a compromising mood. She’ll “Work it out”.
Anyhow – Long story short, we make up… I picked a new Maid/Matron of Honor because I have no choice, but agree to stay in her wedding.
A few months and one hideously awful, disgustingly expensive bridesmaid dress later, she sets her date for May 28th and we’re on our way.
Then over night this frugal, budget stressed bride, who couldn’t save up $200 to come to my wedding, is all about spending. Jewlery… coach purses… nights out with the girls… shoes… more shoes… a “Fancy” $150 dress for the honeymoon (or two)…
Now it’s my turn to get annoyed. She can’t “afford” to come up to be in or even come to my wedding… almost a full month after her honeymoon… but she can peddle her money away on unneccesary crap. Okay… I deal with it.
Then… because I’m not annoyed enough she starts in on how her mother got a super fancy dress for the wedding and how -her- dress doesn’t seem good enough anymore. Well, I’m thinking she’s just having a bridezilla moment.
Oh no… No no no. She actually goes out… and buys a second more expensive coutour wedding gown… OH! Which also happens to be INCREDIBLY similar to my own dress ;_;
To sum it up – I really just don’t know how to feel right now. I’m just super angry with all of this. I feel like she spit in my face… like she doesn’t care about our friendship and it’s breaking my heart all over again.
I could use some sort of advice or support or I dunno what 🙁