She cut me out of her wedding, now wants to be my Bridesmaid?!

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Warhol_Girl89:  First of all, I’m so sorry she would do that to you. How hurtful. Has there possibly been any kind of misunderstanding – maybe you were talking about money issues, or she heard a rumour that you couldn’t come?

Just don’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. She can assume all she wants, but if you haven’t asked her, she isn’t one. She’ll realise in time that she hasn’t been asked.

If this doesn’t work for you, then just be honest. Tell her you were really excited to be her MOH, you’d been saving for her wedding, and all of a sudden she asked someone else and assumed you weren’t coming. You’re hurt and you don’t want her to be a bridesmaid. Just because she’s playing games doesn’t mean you have to. 

Post # 4
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Warhol_Girl89:  I would just ignore that comment, if you don’t ask someone they are not part of the wedding party you don’t get to ask your self into a bridal party 

 

if it comes up you can do one of 2 things be totally real with her and tell her it hurt your feelings to be bumped form moh-not coming to the wedding … that was harsh and you really don’t want her as a brides maid

 

or you could tell her you are having brides maids who are with you in your day to day life and can be part of the planning (or siblings cousin and best friends who u see always) and don’t want an off number so she wont fit in as more then a guest (assuming you even want her as a guest)

Post # 5
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Depends on your personal style. I am very direct and leave no room for misunderstanding. I would address how she made me feel when she cut me out, and then I would make her very aware that she is not to be one of my bridesmaids. 

With that being said, my personal style doesn’t leave much room for tact or “softness”. Like others have suggested maybe not addressing her comment and moving forward without her would be all the indictation she would need. Or gently addressing it would do the trick. 

I am sorry you are dealing with this. Don’t let it get you down. Ps. Other than you moving far, did she have any other reason to assume  you weren’t up to your “duties”?

Post # 7
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@Warhol_Girl89:  Good Luck! I am sure you will work this out! Congratulations and happy planning!

Post # 8
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Warhol_Girl89:  These kinds of situations are so awkward. If she brings it up again, I think you’ll have to clarify it for her, so that she’s not running around thinking she’s going to be a BM when she actually isn’t. As for the why, I guess that depends on your comfort level. I can definitely see why you would be hurt by this.

Post # 9
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

@Warhol_Girl89:  Dang, that sucks. I would just ignore her comment, invite her as a guest.

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