She didn't like our wedding pics

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I see no reason why you have to see this woman without DH around.  She is terrible to you and a bully.  Yes, she is technically family, but that only means so much. 

Even if she would throw a fit (which she sounds like the kind of person who would) if you didn’t come around, is it really worth putting up with when you are?  To me, it wouldn’t be.

Post # 4
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@redbootz:  I see no issue with you placing a distance been you and her. If she wants to hang out, I would suggest a public place like a restaurant. After that, have a nice short convo and “I have to go. My doctor/mother/priest is calling” and end the convo.

Also, don’t be afraid to have a “polite spine”. It’s ok to disagree with her in a nice way.


“You photos are ugly: “Well, we think they are nice”

Google ways to deal with toxic people..

Post # 5
4 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

@redbootz:  Oh My goodess, you poor thing! How awful to have someone constantly undermining you and not be able to say anything! Does DH ever notice/ comment on it?

My MiL went a bit crazy in the run up to the wedding and actually on the day at times, but I decided I had to be up front with her and nip it in the bud, and I think she respected me for putting some boundaries down and she backed off. But what she was doing is nothing compared to what you are describing. Do you think you could have an open discussion on neutral territory and tell her how her actions make you feel, or is it a total no-no?

Big love!


Post # 6
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

Sorry to hear about you difficult MIL.
After reading it, I think you should stand up for yourself. It sounds like your MIL has an aggressive personality. Those can be very, very frustrating. So, I’d say when she is criticizing you, your photos, or what have you, just let her know, “Oh no, I disagree…” and tell her all the positives. Don’t let her negativity ruin your joy. And if she keeps trying to point out negatives, just keep interrupting her and telling her she is wrong and that everything is perfect.
Stand your ground and don’t let her win. 🙂
That’s what I would do.
You don’t have to be mean about it, but be aggressive.

Post # 7
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Wow, I am so sorry you have to deal with such a monster in law. I know you don’t want to put any extra pressure on your DH before his deployment, but maybe he can talk with her and let her know that she needs to play nice if she’s going to have a relationship with you and her son. It’s really not fair that she walked all over your wedding, but what’s done is done, so try (as hard as it may be) to focus on the positives of the day, and not her craziness. Don’t let her walk all over you anymore. In my opinion, manners go out the window after a certain point, and if she’s being this much of a witch, she doesn’t deserve to be treated with respect. 

Post # 8
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would probably not put in much of an effort when your DH gets deployed to see his family. They sound really, really toxic and I wouldn’t want to deal with them.

I’m sure you look beautiful in your wedding pictures. Don’t let her rain on your newlywed parade.

Post # 9
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@redbootz:  Cut this toxic person out of your life. You have played the dutiful DIL and she has spat back in your face. You tried. No need to keep on.

Post # 10
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You should tell your DH and have him talk to his mother.  You will be dealing with her for the rest of you life – better to quash it now. 

Post # 11
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@redbootz:  Why should you go see her? My hubby is deploying and there are plenty of people I COULD visit but will NOT visit. Don’t go see her until your man gets back home because there is no need to put yourself under that stress. Deployments are hard enough! 

Post # 13
1806 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

@redbootz:  Wow, what a bitch! But why were you sitting, looking through your album with her being terrorized?  If it’d been me I’d have just picked up all the photos and said ‘I don’t appreciate the comments you’re making about me’ and I’d have just excused myself. Then I’d gave talked to my husband about it and try to come up with a plan.

Post # 14
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

She sounds awful. I really feel for you.

You need to express all this to your husband and make sure he understands how terrible she makes you feel. 

Keep your distance.

Because oh yes she took it upon herself to hire her own photographer because she said she didn’t want me in the pictures!  

This is so, so unacceptable!!! 

Post # 15
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@redbootz:  So, you are damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

I still say stay away from her. Why place yourself somewhere where you are not comfortable.

I would suggest you go to a therapist to give you ways to build up your self-esteem. You being emotinally stronger will help combat this MIL.


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