(Closed) She Hates the Dress

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Itsallcomingtogether:  Is that the dress in question? ^^^

If so, if she has an “apple” shape then I would agree it might not work for her…but I have no idea bc I have no idea what this girl looks like. Anyway, I guess as long as you’re ok with your dresses not matching just let her pick something else out or alter what you have. I don’t think I’d change my bmaid dresses just because one bm didn’t like it, unless you have some other dresses in mind, and the other girls are more relaxed about it, and are willing to wear whatever you ask them to wear. I don’t really understand why she said she wanted to wear a black chiffon dress, didn’t she ask you first what you had in mind for the bmaids or did she just volunteer that? Also, you’re not going to be considered a bridezilla if you ask your bmaids to wear a particular dress and don’t really want to deviate from that design. As long as you’re not asking someone to lose weight, stuff her bra, force her to go to the tanning salon 3 times a day, wear a super revealing dress, or ask her to wear something that violates her religion, I don’t think you’ll be in bridezilla territory.

Post # 4
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

one shoulder and satin are tough to flatter everyone out there.  Ultimately, it’s your call on what you want to do. I’d keep looking if I were you but I wanted to make sure all my girls were happy with the dress I selected.

Personally, I don’t even think the dress looks flattering on the model…

Post # 6
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think the dress is pretty and the colour is lovely, but then I picture it on real people and I can see that there might be a problem. One shoulder sort of requires that you’re thin for it to look nice. In addition, the cut is high on the other side – so you see the armpit. Unless you’re skinny as a stick, that’s not very flattering.

Since you still have time, I would consider looking at more options. Especially if you want to get closer to your FSIL.

Post # 7
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Itsallcomingtogether:  I see. Hmmm…she probably looks lovely in it. I’m sorry, I just don’t get it…if someone asked me to be her BM I’d wear a potato sack if she asked me to. My inclination is to tell her to get over it and wear the dress you picked out, but that’s not helpful at all, I’m sorry. You all will agree on something, I’m sure, and you are considerate of their feelings so it’s going to work out!

Post # 8
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@JoolyBee:  I agree. It’s nice to be considerate but SHE should also be considerate. If all of the other girls love it and you love it and you think she will look nice in it then she should suck it up. Why don’t you go to the shop and see her try it on then you can tell her how pretty she looks and then tell her she’s wearing it?

The dress is lovely btw!

Post # 9
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@tronski:  Actually our OP is Itsallcomingtogether…and I think you’re dead on with the advice!

Post # 10
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s your choice. not hers. tell her tough shit and to buy it. She’s the only one complaining and being difficult. There’s nothing unreasonable about that dress. She has her own idea of what she’s going to wear in YOUR wedding… but that’s not how it works.

I felt the need to appease my bridesmaids too, and ended up deciding to let them each wear a different style – same color & fabric, but they were dresses that I had chosen too. They kept tellng me it was my decision and they would wear whatever I picked anyways… and that’s how it should be.

Post # 11
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

Get your fiancé involved and ask him to talk to his sister about his. It’s hard to build a relationship with inlaws sometimes. Personally, I think she’s being rude. But I can imagine that it is hard to be firm with your future sister in law.

Maybe you can do one other appointment with the whole group, sometimes the group dynamic will make sure she knows her place.

Post # 12
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think that’s tough for her. There isn’t anything about this dress that is particularly “offensive”.

I would like to make my bridesmaids happy but at a certain point, they need to compromise too. If you were suggesting that they wear a deep v-neck or a skirt that barely covers their butt then you would be in the wrong. =P You don’t want your bridesmaids to feel uncomfortable, but if its just personal taste and the dress isn’t the *most* flattering shape on them, then they really need to do what will make you happy.

I also wonder if the staff at the store even really said those things or if your bridesmaid was just trying to get her way by saying that they agreed with her. Sometimes in situations like this there could have been a person that said one little thing and she decided to say that they agreed it was horrible. I know I’ve experienced things like this many times before, haha.

Post # 13
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LadyIrene:  Good idea with the group dynamic advice! I think if she can see that she is the only one who doesn’t like it then maybe she will relent.

I also believe that this is completely your choice and you would not be a bridezilla to be firm in your choice. That being said, I have been in many weddings where I was asked to wear an unflattering dress – it’s hard to be calm and have a good time when you don’t feel comfortable in what you are wearing. I felt like I kept needing to adjust all night long and none of us girls could just relax and celebrate like we wanted to. (Two of the dresses had to be altered the night of because the side seam came undone.)

My advice would be to ask her for a few ideas (just between the two of you) and see if you can find something – IN YOUR COLOR – that all the girls would enjoy. You could also suggest a brand and a color and then let them all pick out different dresses. Or you can do the flip version of that and find a designer and a dress style and then have them all pick out different hues of grey (with the FSIL getting to be in black). There are a bunch of choices you could still go with so maybe another trip to the store is worth it. (PS I have been in two weddings where we got our dresses from modcloth and they were so versatile that I can wear them again to other events – and they we great prices too 🙂

Post # 15
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Omg these are seriously almost identical to the ones I had!!! Great choice and glad it’s all worked outSmile

Post # 16
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sorry, but your FSIL sounds like a bitch. She sounds like she was intentionally trying to be difficult just to get what SHE wanted and is now realizing that you aren’t going to change your mind. Hopefully she sucks it up and buys the damn dress.

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