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Are Leah and Anna your little girls? How old are they? I'm sorry you are all going through this. :(
@Juliepants: yes, Leah is three and Anna is five. I knew she would start noticing that she is different, but I am completely emotionally unprepared.
Here is a picture of both of them just because they are adorable. Leah is on the left and Anna is on the right.
@yoaglo: No one open that link! yoaglo has been posting it all over WB, likely a virus.
Please stop posting these .exe links. Flagged.
@burris4: Hugs to you and Leah. Was this congenital, or did she lose her leg in an accident or through amputation? Either way, with perhaps a little modification for the circumstance, I think you can say just what you said here: "I don't understand why you don't, but I am trusting that God has an amazing plan for your life." She's a gorgeous child, BTW.
Edited to add: I just saw the pic with both girls- they are both totally adorable!!
I am fed up of @yoaglo and the virus, how do we get this horrible person to go away??? I'm flagging all the messages I can!
@paperumbrella: It was congenital. We made the choice to amputate at 10 months. I can't say to much too her about it because I will cry too and I feel like if she sees that I am crying because of this she will feel that she can't come to me with her true feelings.
@burris4: I think that this is something you'll have to approach more and more as she gets older. For example, when she starts school/sports/art lessons/hanging out with other kids, other children will ask her about it--she should be ready to answer their questions in a way she and they can understand. For now, you can explain to her that people are born in all sorts of different ways, but that doesn't mean they can't be happy/loved and she is not limited by the lack of 1 leg. But in a year or two (or as her questions develop and get more specific), you might want to start explaining what happened in more detail to her, so that it is something she's 'always known' and doesn't worry that the details are something you're ashamed of or don't want her asking about.
@burris4: Can you maybe rehearse some things to say to Leah with your husband or a close friend? Then you can have the converation with her, but if you have practiced enough beforehand, maybe you won't be so emotional about it? I think it is also totally ok to be honest and tell her that you are sad because she is sad about it, but that you are happy to know that she is such a strong, loving, happy, beautiful girl, so you know she will not let the fact that she has one leg define her. Talking about it, even if it involves some tears, may be better than not talking about it, especially as she gets older and notices more that she is "different".
@burris4: I don't know if you've already found this site:
http://www.amputee-coalition.org/
My heart goes to you and your beautiful child! Is it possible to get her involved in a group with other children who share her experience? Are you in a support group? Telling her you trust God has a plan for life sounds like a wonderful way to start talking with her about it, as much as you can at this age. Much love to you.
I am sorry. It tears at my heart to. I haven't stopped praying for you guys. It might help if she could meet other children with the same condition. DD was much more comfortable with her feeding tube after being around many other kids that had them.
I think it is normal for her to wish she had two legs. DD wished she never had to have a tube. I spent my childhood wishing I was a boy because I was the only girl in our neighborhood. We all do it. It tears at the heart so much because we as moms wish the very best for our child. But I am quite convinced that having just one leg is the very best for Leah. I don't understand why yet but I trust my Father. Somehow in the grand scheme of things this is best. But I know you know that. Just keep telling her that God has some pretty amazing plans for her because He gave her an "ability" that most folks don't have. She will gain a unique perspective that most folks aren't blessed with. She is a pretty special little girl and I hope you keep posting so we can watch her turn into one amazing woman. :)
@paperumbrella: Those are my thoughts as well.
@burris4: Beautiful little girls you have there!
I have no idea if this is is helpful at all: We have an adult family friend who had an amputation and my young daughter was curious about amputees, so I showed her a couple of videos like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXfcOBU58ko
I really gave her better perspective about their abilities (not focusing on the dis part). I know your daughter lives with this everyday, so obviously this is her life experience- and I don't mean to minimize it. But I just thought maybe when you talk to her it may help to incorporate one of the videos into your talk- since your daughter is so young and what kid doesn't love animals? No doubt, there will be challenges for your daughter and I'm sure you will have to address her questions and sadness. But she is beautiful and perfect!
ADORABLE girls!
Perhaps you could have Anna tell Leah all the things she likes about her? Might be good to know that there are things about Leah that Anna is a little envious of. As others have said, the classic "everyone is different" talk may be warranted in the very near future. I think the best thing is to be honest w/her when she asks questions. It's hard to find a balance between treating her like everyone else & being supportive & sympathetic to her emotions on the matter. You don't want her to feel like it hasn't been addressed, but @ the same time, you don't want her feeling like you baby her b/c of it. I think you'll find the proper balance. :-)
@burris4: Have you done any research into the Shriners Hospital in MN? They have a great counciling program that helps the parents of children amputees help them deal with the differences and they help you until she is an adult. One of my moms friends was in a similar situation, but it was an arm. They were extremely helpful to both the mom and the daughter, plus they were able to get her the newest and the best artifical limbs free of charge.
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Leah told me again tonight that she wishes she had two legs like Anna has. This tears my heart out. I told her that she is perfect and beautiful the way she is. I really wanted to say "I wish you could have two legs like Anna too and I don't understand why you don't. I am trusting that God has an amazing plan for your life. I don't understand why but I am going to love you through this pain. " Ugh