Weddingbee boards

So obviously my wedding day is one I always dreamed about.  Even before I had a groom, my best friend and I would talk about our wedding plans knowing that we would be eachothers MOH.  When my fiance asked me to marry him on July 28th of last year she was the second person I called, of course my mom was first.  I had dramatic ideas for how I would ask her to be in my wedding, which didn't pan out but the important thing was I asked and she accepted.  So it's 7 months later we are busy making plans, going to bridal shows, and all kinds of fun stuff.  My wedding isn't until October but I like to have things done early.  So we have ordered the tux and are making plans to try on wedding dresses and pick out dresses for the girls, and my MOH tells me that maybe I should consider someone else as my maid of honor!  I can't believe it! This is a time that we always talked about.  Granted we are at different places in our lives- I am 30 no children and just getting ready to get married and start my family and she has been married and had her family for 10 years, but she is still the one I turn to and she is telling me to turn elsewhere.  Her only explanation is- "I think someone who knows you better would do a better job."  I am crushed and don't know what to do.  My sister in laws are my three bridesmaids.  I don't want any of them to think that I like one more than the other by asking one to be my maid of honor.  I have plenty of cousins but again, I am close with all of them but don't want any of them to think I like one more than the others.  I have other friends but I feel awkward since I told everyone seven months ago that she would be my maid of honor and now I ask them as if they are my second choice.  I am crushed and don't know what to do.  Do I just not have a MOH?  Help!!!

I'd be honest with your sisters-in-law and let them pick straws. Seriously, roll a dice, pick a card, anything as long as it's as arbitrary as possible and done right in front of them. That way they all know that there is no preference involved but you simply need a MOH. I'd basically 'accept' your MOH's decision, God only knows what further drama she could pile on you in the run-up to your wedding, and you can never be sure if there aren't any problems in her personal life she's taking out on you. Either way she's not being a great friend at a time when you really need her. Let her cool off, she may come around and you can always keep a bridesmaid spot open for her.

@mandy72980:

so I have been thinking my situation the last couple of days. 

1:  I tried to discuss the situation with my first MOH and see where she was at, maybe there was something that I wasn't aware of that would make her not want to be my MOH.  That was a nightmare!  We got into a huge fight, things were said, and I honestly think the relationship is past repair now.  Sad

2: I thought about not having a MOH.  I could do this but having someone important to me stand up as my MOH is crucial for me, and there are a lot of people that I know would say yes, but I can't decide on one friend or cousin.  I don't want to give HER the satisfaction of saying "hmmm, so you couldn't find anyone else huh?"

3: I thought about asking someone else but I want someone to be my MOH that means a lot to me, so I have made my final decision! There are 10 people in this world that mean the most to me that I would lay down my life for and 9 of them are in my wedding.  My finace, brothers, sister-in-laws, father, and neices and nephews, there is only one other person, my mom.  I was the only girl in my family so my mother and I are super close and do everything together.  So I am going to ask my mother to be my MOH.  I know I know she will have so much on her plate being the MOB and the MOH but I honestly think she wouldn't want it any other way. 

So I think you former MOH for doing me such a favor.  I will have someone standing beside me who has seen me through EVERYTHING in my life.  Now that it's settled I have a sense of giddy peace.  I am happy! Thank you Bees!