She Just Wanted Me to Create Even Sides

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Ouch, that kinda hurts.

Buuuut…  I can’t help but play a bit of devil’s advocate.  If she were to get Lisa there, then Lisa’s role would just be a filler.  You yourself may not have been a filler.  She may have genuinely wanted you to be there for her, and now that you can’t go (which is understandable), only now she could be worried about uneven sides.

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sure she wanted you there as a real friend, and asking “Lisa” (or passively threatening to) is a really petty response to being put after your baby in your list of importance.

I’d ignore it–And maybe get ready to ignore her until after she has a kid.

Post # 5
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

maybe she is going to upgrade another BM to MOH and Lisa will be a BM.

but if Lisa is not friends with her like you say, wouldn’t Lisa just say No?

 

Post # 7
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think this chick is just being a little ridiculous. she shouldn’t be expecting you to fly to vegas pay for hotel and a rental car and have a 3 month old baby. as for your good friend that she doesn’t get along with I seriously hope she says no. you don’t need to be stressing out like this you just worry about having a happy healthy baby 🙂

Post # 8
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@megz06:  eh. I think it’s pretty common to want even sides so it makes sense to me that she confirmed (again) with you that you can’t make it and is now thinking of asking someone she is less close to. 

Post # 9
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@megz06:  Ugh your friend sounds like a gem.  Depending on what type of person Lisa is, I might warn her that this is coming.  If I secretly loathed a girl and she planned to ask me to be a BM I’d want to know in advance so I could formulate a response.  Other than “of course not, are you kidding?”

Post # 11
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Your friend is a serial cheater and the biggest problem you have with her is that she’s looking to create even sides for her bridal party? I’m going to take the unpopular side here and say that this situation says more about you than it does about your friend.

Why are you friends with a serial cheater? And why would you even consider standing up beside her at her wedding when you already fully recognize that she doesn’t respect the sanctity of marriage? To me, being a bridesmaid is about more than wearing a matching dress and being in wedding photos. It’s you saying that you support this union and plan to stand by the bride and groom in keeping their . Do you?

Post # 12
Member
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago

I think you are maybe reading into this too much.  She asked you to be a BM b/c she wants you to be a part of her wedding, and now that you can’t she is a BM short and her FI probably already asked his guys and yea she wants the sides to be even, what’s wrong with that? 

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t still want you to be in the wedding, you declined.  If one of my BM backed out I would be upset and hurt and scrambling to find someone to fill the space, I feel strongly that both sides should be even, I know not everyone agrees, but my FI asked a friend that he grew up with that he probably wouldn’t have asked to be in the wedding if I didn’t have 5 BM and he only had 4 GM.  Just saying, it sounds like she is handeling you not coming very well…I don’t know the full story, but I think you shouldn’t read into the way you are.

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