- Miss T-Rex
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2013
My friend C and I have been close since we’ve been hanging out the spring of this year. We were both waiting for our men to propose and so we bonded fast, we mentioned having each other in the weddings but when she actually got engaged in August I really didn’t expect to be in her wedding, but she asked me to be a co-MOH, well that turned ugly since the other girl didn’t want to share so it ended up being just me. Her wedding is next October.
Since then I’ve been trying to do everything I can for her since she’s in school, working and planning a wedding, she’s not very good with taking stress so I tried to make this as fun and easy for her as I can. Little did I know this would be me making/going to venue appointments for her, calling people, going with her FI to places because she coudln’t make it. And I’ve done all of this happily for her since I really do like her.
However, knowing my own wedding was much closer than hers, and with her permission of getting married before her, I’ve been doing some things for me, like looking at a few places, finding a few things on pinterest while I’m researching for her. Double duty, but not hardcore because she’s really the bride.
So, its November, she’s not booked a place (and missed out on several because she just waited too long) she’s not looked at dresses, neither hers or bridesmaids, I’ve planned a bridal breakfast for 7 people, which was a disaster, not really my fault but that’s another story…. And got engaged myself for a wedding in February.
We’re having 70 people max, she’s having over 200, so a huge bridal party makes sense for her, but not for me. So I asked my best friend of 7 years, my SIL (brothers wife) and my neice (whose 4), asking her was just not a good idea for many many reasons and I explained them as best as I could; she has too much going on, she’s already freaking out about money and it’ll be a rough time since she’s taking 18 hours in school and planning her wedding.
Ever since then she’s been kinda nasty towards me… just ignoring me or not really caring about anything. Then the other night she comes over because she just has to talk to me and doesn’t really say anything. She just nods and checks her phone a bunch of times and doesn’t really engage in conversation like I try.
I knew what was going to happen but she didn’t say anything, until she left I recieved a text message:
“I’m not sure what to do. When we first got enaged we talked about how you were going to be in my wedding and I was going to be in yours( this was mentioned long before either was engaged) and how we were going to take the time to plan them with each other. Now your planning it with (my FI) and my friend (who isn’t really even involved I just happen to talk about my wedding with her because she actually seems to care about it) I’m not even in it and I feel like I’m planning mine with certain friends. You[ve tld me time and time again how your soo busy (I’ve mentioned it once) and how your not going to have the time right now to help me with things for the time being. I need to plan my wedding now and you need to plan yours, I need someone who is able to make me a pirrty and help me in mine and I feel you dont have the time to be my moh/ righ tnow. As much as it sucjs to say I don’t feel liek we’re where we were months ago when when this wedding stuff started.”
Now, firstly I want to say I’ve RELIEVED I NEVER have to deal with those girls again (ranges 12 to 21) because it was miserable and I wasn’t having any fun but seriously, a TEXT?!
Since I can’t obviously be a priorty for myself because my wedding is 8 months before hers, and I’ve been dragging her along to get hers planned but I can’t do it myself since its HER wedding I don’t know how I feel about it other than angry. She forgot how much I’ve already done for her, not that I did it for recognition but because I really wanted to help. Now its like she’s just hurt I didn’t ask her so she’s being a brat.
My fiance and I were enagaged 3 ago and we booked our venue (before her) got a dress/suit, have our centerpieces done and ready to assemble in February, have our guest list, and all decorations, boquets, etc. Even if my FI and I were getting married NEXT February we’d still have most of this done because we don’t believe in dragging things out because they just stress you out, which is what is happening to her.
If you read this, I’m sorry, I’m ranting and I just don’t know if I feel validated in my feelings. I’m just angry, I’m not even hurt because I’m grateful I don’t have to deal with all of this immature mess because it just makes me feel like a waste of my time because no one even cares. I think what makes me mad about all of this is she just won’t even tell me its because I didn’t ask her to be in my wedding… I’m 90% certain.