She says it's diamond, but I am pretty sure it's NOT.

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Subrosa:  Maybe she’s embarassed. Some women try to pass moissys off as diamonds too. I have never had an instance where I couldn’t tell the difference, but I also didn’t care enough to get into it.

Post # 4
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Subrosa:  …you know, she might have been snooked too…if she’s getting them off the Home Shopping Network or through a jeweler/friend who might be lying to her, after all…the things in the cases are often set with CZ in case of theft…maybe she’s getting the discontinued or retired case models and misunderstanding exactly what they are?

Post # 5
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Well if you know it’s not real than I would just move on and let her tell you whatever she wants.  If you are questioning it than I would head to a jeweler to make sure.  This is a strange situation.  Most people do not lie about gifts given.  

 

Post # 6
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Subrosa:  She might not know?  CZ is often marketed as “lab created diamond,” and I see soooo many people on other non-wedding forums getting all excited about affordable “lab diamonds,” having no idea that they are not looking at pure-carbon stones.  Some people just don’t know a lot about jewelry.

Post # 7
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Subrosa:  Are you sure that she knows they aren’t real?

Post # 8
Member
1611 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I got a Tanzenite in white gold from Bradford Exchange.. Though I can’t say much for their workmanship.. I’m probably going to have the ring melted down and reset (with all of it’s stones, which includes 8 small diamonds, I think).. They do make some PRETTY jewelry though!!

Post # 9
Member
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

I’d probably have them appraised… and keep the results to myself. If they are real, you probably want them insured. If they’re not, well, at least you know! 

Post # 10
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with others– she probably doesn’t know!

Post # 11
Member
5445 posts
Bee Keeper

Well it might be awkward to ask her, but I think I would because what if she got screwed over and way overpaid for something she thought was a good deal? I would probably take them to a jeweler to be sure, and then if they’re not plat/diamond, just tell her you got them appraised for insurance and hope she didn’t overpay. 

Post # 12
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ok here is what I think / would do.

You are being very gracious in accepting them without reservation as to what they are or are not (as you say, you can rock a CZ as well as a Diamond)

BUT I’d be cautious of her claims, and here is why…

1- She could have issues with telling fibs / lies.  Not uncommon.  Some people are compulsive liars, others lie because they want to impress other people, even though they quite clearly know they are doing so and being dishonest / deceptive.

2- She could honestly believe what she tells you.  Either because she’s such a fib teller / liar that she can convince herself after awhile that her lies are truth

3- She could believe what she’s told you because she’s been duped by an unscrupulous jewellery merchant.  Be that someone in person or on line.

Now here is what I’d do, so you aren’t exposed down the road (and IMO you don’t have to discuss this issue with your Fiance)

Take the things to a Jeweller you trust (every woman needs a compentent Jeweller, in the same way that you have other Professionals you rely on).  In my case we use a Family Jewellery Store… not a chain one.  A person I can ask Questions of, go to for cleanings, get repairs, and one of my go-to stores when I am looking for a gift.

Ask the Jeweller to give you their professional opinion at first glance.  IF they know their stuff they’ll be able to pick out the questionable stuff right away… and anything they aren’t 100% sure of, or looks valuable, they can do an evaluation for you (Evaluations / Appraisals usually cost money to have performed)

If you’ve cultivated a good relationship, you should be able to get them to agree in addition to any Appraisals to write you up a note on letterhead on their “opinion” on the cheaper stuff (all it has to say for example is … White metal band – or Gold Plated Necklace – White Gold Earrings with Czs, etc)

Then, you take the good stuff and insure it if you so wish.

You tuck the Evaluations and the Descriptive Write-Ups away (safety deposit box).  Preferably with a photo of each item as well.  And make sure everything is dated too…

And go on with your life.

WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT

If you guys should ever break up get a Divorce… your MIL may claim that she passed family heirlooms onto you, and as you aren’t part of the family any more, she’d like the back !!

Then in court she could claim that you’ve “replaced” the heirlooms with junk.  You don’t want to be in that position ever.  Sounds crazy but it can happen !!

God forbid if anything ever comes to you in that way you will be 100% protected.

Not to say that it will… but lets face it, if these items aren’t what she says they are, you may as well protect yourself anyhow.

She could be any of 1, 2, or 3 above… or she could be a truly crazy woman.  We should never ignore the crazy people in our lives, there is a thin line between harmless crazy, and certified crazy.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 14
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

@This Time Round:  Agreed! That’s great advice!

 @Subrosa:  I would get the pieces appraised. If they are real you’ll want to insure them. if theyre not, and your MIL is getting the jewellery from the same person, I would be tempted to tell her so she doesnt get ripped off if she really thinks their real.

If this were me I would have them appriased and if they are fake, I would have FI bring it up in a concerned manner. Now my FI and his mom have a very honest relationship and FI and I are very open and talk about everything. He would already know that I doubted the authenticity of the jewellery and would have encouraged me to get them appraised.

If you think she’s making it up I would ignore it and take what she says with a grain of salt.

Post # 16
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Definitely take them to a jeweler and have them tested. You don’t need to tell them the whole story, you could just say that you inherited them or something.

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