Post # 1
I was venting to one of my best friend’s about Fiance wanting to invite his mom’s renters to the wedding – and she asked me what ended up happening and then told me she had her own guest situation.
When I asked her what – she said – well, if I don’t bring my mom, she’ll be so offended she’ll never speak to you again.
I told her that her +1 was for a date and not her mother. She said – well, you don’t understand how upset my mother will be. And I told her – I want you to have a good time at the wedding and not worry about entertaining her mother (something that will happen, should her mother come (her mom is a bit of a drama queen, if you can’t already tell).
So, I told her – I’ll endure the wrath of your mother, but I don’t want you to bring her. I can make up an excuse as to why she wasn’t able to be invited.
So then she said -look, it’s easier for me to not deal with my mother being offended for not being invited that I’d rather bring her.
I finally just told her – you have a +1, do with it as you will, but I don’t want you to bring your mother. (The only possible saving grace is that her mother currently lives out of the country. My friend is planning to move her back up here and it could be that it’s near the wedding – but
BUT, honestly – I’m just PISSED. I wasn’t going to make it the hill I was going to die on – but it’s soooo annoying!!!!
I talked to Fiance about it and he said “‘well, we gave her a guest and she can bring whom she likes” – which I agree to, in theory – I just needed to vent and know the hive understands how I’m feeling. Gah!
I feel like I need to lighten up re: guest list…
Post # 3
hmm im not sure…if you just put your friend’s name “and guest” i don’t think you can really choose who she brings. i could be wrong though.
Post # 4
Yeah I would be annoyed too! I know since you said “and guest” there isn’t much you can do (and you’ve admitted as much!), but I would still find it annoying.
Post # 5
Um you gave her an “and guest.” You don’t get to dictate who she brings unless you specifically invited a specific person as her guest – which you didn’t…
Post # 6
You gave her a +1. You’re not allowed to dictate who she brings, sorry.
Post # 7
“I wasn’t going to make it the hill I was going to die on” LOLOLOLOL!!! I love that!!
I can totally see where you’re coming from– you want your friend to have a good time at your wedding, and not have to babysit. I totally get it.
But I guess I agree with your FH. If she wants to bring her mom to avoid more drama, let her. She’s the one that’s going to have to deal with her at your wedding, not you.
Post # 8
@All – yes, I realize I can’t dictate who she choses to bring. I addressed the invitation to her only and on the RSVP card put 2 seats were reserved for her. I completely understand that gives her license to invite anyone that she chooses – I just think it’s ridiculous that she’s bringing her mother that she doesn’t like just because she doesn’t want to hear her mom complaining about it. I partly wonder if she was fishing for a invite for her mom – but I’m SO over it. Keep in mind, that this isn’t a random friend -but one that’s been involved in all the guest list and budget woes…. and I figured she of all people would realize: 1) why I gave her a guest and 2) why I wouldn’t want her to bring her mom (all she does is fight with her mom). I even told her I wouldn’t have given her a guest if I thought she’d bring her mom.
I guess the moral of the vent is that you shouldn’t assume anything when it comes to wedding planning. 😉
Post # 9
ugh, I can see where you’re coming from and understand it. Unfortunately, you don’t have much choice.
however, I also understand your friend’s dilema. since it’s your friend’s mother, said mother will end up giving your friend a rough time about it. and I can DEFINITELY understand not wanting to have to deal with a mom who is going to give you nothing but pain for something like that. (my mom would be the SAME way…)
If your friend doesn’t have a date she wants to bring, well, just tell your friend that if the mom starts acting the part of a drama queen (aka creating a scene), she’ll be asked to leave. (which I think would be the norm regardless, but that’s just me).
so, so sorry you have to deal with this. hopefully everything will work out okay. 🙂
eta: oh, and I also fight with my mother on a near-constant basis. have been since I was a teen. sometimes, it’s just easier to do what’s necessary to keep the peace…