- 8 years ago
Bees! I can’t make up my mind!!!! And, I’m hoping dialogue on this post will help me figure it out.
I’ve been out of college for *gulp* 13 years. There are two friends from college that I can’t figure out if they should be on the official guest list (they made the list, but I’ve had question marks by their names the whole time).
There’s one that I’d rather invite over the other, but they are a package deal (there is NO WAY I could invite one over the other).
I was roommates with both of them at varying times. The two of them were way closer friends throughout the years and kept continually in touch. I can’t even remember how it happened, but I got back in touch with both of them (maybe at one of the gal’s weddings) and probably for the last 5 years or so, we drive from our various homes and converge in a central meeting place about an hour away. We catch up for a couple hours and go our separate ways – without a whole lot of interaction between times (except an email or two from time to time). We meet up like this maybe 3 times a year.
I guess I’m having a hard time figuring out if I should invite them because:
*I don’t consider these gals to be close friends/confidants. We share things, but I feel like there has always been a tad bit of underhanded snarkiness to them, which make me also a little self-conscious (like all they’ll do is come and talk crap about the wedding).
*I was invited to one of the girl’s wedding (we’ll call her Girl A) 5 or so years ago (this is the one that I really would want to invite). Girl B was married about 8 years ago and I wasn’t invited, nor was I in touch with her at the time, so it wasn’t a big deal. She got divorced and remarried in January of this year, and didn’t invite myself or Girl A, saying she was going to keep it small (Girl A was a BM in her 1st wedding).
*Part of my doesn’t want to invite Girl B, since I got cut from her guest list!!
*I don’t know if Girl A will understand not being invited – as even when Girl B was talking about her wedding saying “I wish we could invite everyone, but we are just keeping it small, etc.” – Girl A was completely clueless, saying how much she couldn’t wait for the wedding but might be out of town and was so bummed to miss it.
Anyway – I’m TOTALLY on the fence about this and flip-flop ALL the time. Part of this is sometimes I leave our lunch meetings feeling happy that we keep in touch. And other times I think – boy, I need to stop meeting (just too much snarkiness).
The decision making is heightened because I’m seeing them TOMORROW and they know I’m engaged and the topic WILL come up…. so, HELP!!! Do I included them? Pretend I haven’t made up the guest list, to buy me more time?