- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Hello all, this is my first post and I really need some advice.
I got engaged about a year ago and I had asked my sister to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and my closest friends to be my bridesmaids…to which they all said yes, and I, of course, was ecstatic that I would be having the closest people behind me. I started sending out my save the dates, and letting everyone know what our wedding day was.
A year later (now, in the present day), one of my bridesmaids (let’s call her “Sam”) contacted me to let me know that she was asked to be a bridesmaid in another friends wedding, which happens to be on the same day as my wedding. Sam mentioned to her friend what my wedding day was, but she went ahead and booked it anyways. Sam accepted her offer as well as she considers this friend to be like a sister and as her friend’s wedding is supposed to be completed in the morning…so she’s planning on changing and being present at my ceremony and reception.
At first, I thought that it could work out, but now I’m starting to see that it won’t; for the type of ceremony her friend is having, Sam will be booked for most of the week before my wedding, and that’s when I’ll really need her help. I’ve been trying to politely question her motives by mentioning that with the different hairstyles and makeup and travelling time to get to my ceremony (it’s probably about half an hour away from the other wedding), how would she make it work. Her response has always been that she promised me first, so she’ll be there for my wedding.
Sam has told me that if it were anyone else having the wedding on the same day, she would have automatically said no, but because this friend is like her sister (and so close where Sam’s parents are also going) she needed to accept. So I’m kind of at a crossroads; I want her to be there for me and I thought that we were on the same page, but I feel almost betrayed in a way. I mean, if you promised me first, are you not supposed to stick with what you promised to?
I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I also don’t want to panic on my wedding day wondering where she is. Would it be unreasonable of me to kick her out of my bridal party? How can I tell her my concerns and politely kick her out as a bridesmaid and invite her to my wedding as a guest only?
(I tried not to use to many details as her friend might also be using this board!)