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I wouldn't let it bother you. As long as you are being your sexy confident self, your man will have no reason to ever respond to her ever so suttle advances. i know i know, easier said than done, cause it's hard not to be jealous. But truly, if you trust your guy, then you have nothing to worry about. If this woman crosses the line, I'm sure he will kindly but firmly remind her that he is taken and quite happy with his hunny.
if you personally do anything, you're going to look nuts. Even though it's the other person that is in the wrong. I'd talk to your SO and tell him how you feel and why you feel that way, and ask him to keep his ears open. He may not even notice this is happening. If he does notice and puts a little distance there, she might get the hint. Or he could name drop you all the time until she shut up. But don't do anything that would make things about you, when it's not you that has the issue.
oooh Dramz! Maybe take your man lunch one day and dress to the 9's! Be sure to plant a sloppy kiss on him too, right in front of her!
lol, geez, I have no idea!! How long have they been working together? Maybe it's just a phase and she'll get over it soon. Or have your man set her up with a single buddy of his? Distractions might help!
He should say something to her. I had a woman my FH works with tell him to dump me and give her a chance while I was in the bathroom while we were out for drinks after work. Really!? He told her at work the next day he could no longer talk to her nor hang out when she will be there as she was totally inappropriate and disrespectful to us both and that was unacceptable.
Personally, I wouldn't say anything to him. She hasn't done anything inappropriate (it doesn't sound like from what you've said), and because you trust your SO, then it shouldn't really be an issue even if she had. He'll let her know what lines not to cross. However, if you feel strongly about this, then by all means approach him about it, and let him know how you feel.
Oh and please, do NOT say anything to your SO's employee - to me, that's very inappropriate. Let him handle it, if there is anything that even needs handling, which there probably isn't!
I have a bad temper and I'm insanely jealous so don't do what I would do which is call the office, get her email address and tell her to back the EFF OFF ! I've actually done it and FI didn't get mad at me. He was upset that I was upset that his stupid ex tried to weasel her way back in once her man dumped her ass.
This is a sticky situation.. on one hand you dont want your man thinking you dont trust him, but on another this woman is being inappropriate. If it were me I would probably talk to my man about it and just tell him how I am feeling. If he tells your sincerely that nothing is wrong and nothing will happen.. then believe it.
I would definitely do as Socks said- make yourself known, BUT NOT PSYCHO knows. Dont attack her or even confront her.. Suprise him there one day or something. Also- Definitely tell him how you feel.
Yeah I'd talk to him about it and let him know what you're worried about so he can address it properly. My hubs is doing this joint program in school so he's around a new set of students a lot and as a good looking, funny guy those girls are ruthless.
It used to highly piss me off, but after talking to him about it he now handles it fine. And if someone persists, which they do sometimes, he just ends up keeping his distance. Usually after a few weeks they get the picture and I can be around them without wanting to slap them. But until then it's just kinda funny watching them try to flirt with him and him dealing with it. So you need to have trust in him and be able to tell him when people are making you uncomfortable. He does the same for me if his male spidey sense tells him some guy is up to something.
I had a similar situation happen to me...there was a girl that my husband was friends with who at the time was getting a divorce from her husband and "needed someone to confide in" (you don't have girlfriends?!?!?!?!) but anyway, I let it be known to my husband that it was inappropriate, he didn't understand at first, I gave him specific instances that she was borderline inappropriate (because she would always play the 'friend' role) and I kept telling him about it. I always kept it light and funny (because I didn't want to let him know that it really irked me as well) and he eventually saw what I saw. he stopped communicating with her, we got married, and then she stopped trying to talk to him. i think she thought she would try and get one last chance before he got married. Idk, but she was weird...she even tried to befriend me, like it would have made a difference...I was always polite, but I knew she wasn't genuine.
my point being...keep telling your husband everytime she does something that you think isn't right...and not in a "i'm jealous" of her way...more in a "can you believe her?" way...it might lighten the load on your SO if he can't exactly see what you see at first...
I would definitely not say anything to her. But I might tell your SO if it's bothering you. I'd probably be amused and a little irritated a little pleased.
I would talk to your SO in an easy, not serious way about it. Maybe he doesn't realize how his responses may come across to a woman who clearly doesn't get it?
It's definately good that he's talking to you about what she says. maybe he needs to tweek his reponses to her?
There is always going to be "that lady" at work...I wouldn't let it get to you (even though that's easier said than done!)
Good advice, ladies. Thanks. I feel better already. He's out of town for a few days but if it is still bothering me when he gets back I might casually mention it.
IMHO- office crushes usually are fleeting.... especially when one party is already spoken for. I wouldn't put too much weight into it. She's probably unhappy about some aspect of her life and he is a handsome distraction.
I guess you should be flattered...?
Don't worry about it - obviously if he talks to you about her it's not something as if he has feelings for her.
Of course that doesn't mean you can't give her a bitchy fake smile if you ever see her out, and ask something like "So (FI) mentioned you were having a terrible time dating...SOOOO sorry about that" :)
Why don't you just make plans witth the FI to pick him up for lunch one day or to drop something off so you can see her for yourself and introduce yourself. It might make things easier on you if she sees you and then you can assess the situation better. Good luck, but don't try to let it bother you too much!!!!
I think you and your man should discuss what is considered "out of line" comments. Agree that if she says anything like that to your FI, you are hoping he will stand up and let her know that its not appropriate.
What did she say? From your description it's hard to tell if she actively tried to flirt with him or just let it slip that she's got a bit of a crush.
If it's the latter, crushes happen. It doesn't really make her a villain to be attracted to someone unattainabble. In fact, sometimes that's part of the appeal. Not only is he attached, but it's a workplace thing which makes it very high-risk. Unless she's a crazy thrill-seeker (which you don't mention), I wouldn't worry.
If she's really started to hit on him, then next time he brings it up, tell him it might be a good idea that he suggest she cool it a little before office rumors start flying. He's telling you about it which means he doesn't consider it anything more than funny or flattering.
I agree with entangled. Obviously you didn't give us any examples so I can't exacly say, but if nothing is inappropriate maybe she's just being friendly or something. I know some ladies who just have that personality. It would be different if she's focused that all on your fiance, but you don't know her and only hear stuff through him. I used to work in a lab with a girl who had a really "flirty" personality, but she treated everyone that way (ladies and men) and she never did anything inappropriate.
unfortunately for me my FI is a total it bothered me at first but i got over it. there was a girl that used to work with him and i heard from another coworker that shed do anything in her power to put her hands on him-hug pat on the back touch sides when shed pass him in a crowded area or something and once i got that 411 you better believe i went up there all kinds of dresses up brought him his favorite meal and had lunch with him right in front of her. and laid a big one on him too and said goodbye and said see you at home wink and gave her the eyebrow raise on the way out....the next day the girl told my FI that i was a bitch and she didnt like me.
he thought it was cute of course....
i saw her i public at a bar near our house we were there to do karaoke. she saw me and purposly came up to us and gave my FI a hug and a very whorish one at that! at this point FI was actually nervous that i would start a brawl right there...he introduced me as his fiance thinking that would calm her down but no what does she say?
"Ya I told you already shes a bitch"
we walker off....okay maybe not he dragged me off...
with that I dedicated the song HomeWrecker to "The slutty broad in the tube top and the pancake boobs"
needless to say she doesnt talk to him anymore....
I understand where you are coming from. My guy is in the military and let's just say the uniform doesn't help with turning other women away. We were at a St. Patrick's Day parade (he was in uniform) with some other soldiers and he went to grab a stuffed animal for his nephew and the woman won't give it to him until he gave her a kiss on the cheek. Granted I didn't see this happen, but his sister saw it and told me about it. I have to admit, it bothered me a little. I know it was innocent. But the idea of him kissing some woman he doesn't know. And I'm sure she wasn't asking for kisses from other people. He could tell it bothered me a little. After we got home, I made my peace with him and said I didn't like it. He said it wouldn't happen again. I guess it just barely crossed the line for me.
I wouldn't do anything, either, unless i felt he was encouraging the behavior or doing anything to condone it aside from being nice to her in the "i'm your boss" sort of way.
Otherwise, let her be jealous and eat her heart out =-] And if she says inappropriate things, he can always say it's not appropriate--he is her boss after all. There are things you don't say to your boss.
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Somtimes your feminine intuition just tells you that something is off...you know? My sweetie and I often talk about work. One of the women that works for him has come up in conversation a bunch of times and I've definitely gotten the vibe that at the very least, she has a crush on him.
Last night he was telling me about a conversation they had in which she said a couple of things which confirm to me that she is definitely into him. I don't blame her - he's awesome. She didn't say anything downright inappropriate, but it makes me uncomfortable. I'm not worried about him - I know he loves me and is committed to me. But, grrrr, it is irking me.
She knows he's taken. I've never met her but I know lots of people in the office and everyone really likes me. I won't do it, but I really just want to march into her office and tell her to stand down. Ugh!
So how would you react? I don't want to be a jealous woman, but I guess I am. Would you say something to her? To your man? Just suck it up and be really glad that he's yours and she wants him?