Post # 1
I have a bridesmaid that has totally gone MIA, as in didnt show up for our dress appt, didnt call txt or email to give any type of reason, and i have not heard from her since. My girls had a deadline of July 1st to have their dresses ordered… still havnt heard from her and she doesnt even know what to order since she didnt go to the appt. I want to somehow txt her since she doesnt answer the phone and give her the option to step down. It needs to be done today or tomorrow, because i am having dinner with a friend that should have been standing in place of MIA BM anyways.
I have a feeling that if i give her the option she will step down, but how do i go about doing that without totally ruining our friendship?
Post # 3
@mattsgirl813: This happened in a wedding I was in a few years ago, and it was actually a really close, old friend of the bride’s.
I think I would just send her a text or email basically saying that you’ve noticed she’s sort of fallen off the grid and that you’re worried about her. Ask her if she’s ok and if there is anything you can do to help. Then say you love her and would love to have her in your wedding, but you understand that this may not be the best timing for her so it’s ok if she would rather just come as a guest. Reiterate that you hope she’s ok and that you’re available if she needs anything, and leave it at that. You might hear back from her, and you might not. If not, just proceed planning your wedding without her. If she comes around later and says she wants in, tell her politely that you assumed that she couldn’t since you never heard back from her and you didn’t want to pressure her, but that at this point you’ve had to move forward with your plans without her.
Post # 4
Is it really going to take 5 months to have your dress come in? Why do they need to order their dresses 6 months early? Is it possible that something is wrong with her? Is it possible that you’re driving her crazy with wedding talk and she just needs some air/space?
Post # 5
hmm, i do hope shes ok. Is there another way to get ahold of her- like go to her house? or call a parent or boyfriend of hers? Im always worried when someone falls off the grid.
But like a prior bee said, send her a message like that, and hopefully shell respond back. if you dont hear from her within a day or two, use the other freind as a bridesmaid.
Post # 6
@DJones69: Possibly this.
@mattsgirl813: DJones69 raises a good point: any chance you’re letting the wedding planning crazies get the best of you? If you’re sure that none of those scenarios are contributing to her absense and you want to give her an opening to step down, I’d say:
“Hey, sister! I’m guessing you’re really busy, haven’t heard back from you on this bridesmaids stuff. Everything ok? Listen, just know that if you just want to attend our wedding as a guest you will not hurt my feelings :)”
Post # 8
@DJones69: The dresses needed to be ordered early because 3 out of 5 of them need special alterations, and we were told that they all needed to be ordered at the same time to make sure that its from the dye lot. I have not bothered her at all about any of it. I figured out a time that works for everyone and when she didnt show, i called to make sure she was ok, then reminded them a month ago that they need to be ordered so that everyone could have the alterations done. When my other ladies ordered they were all told october for their dresses to come in.
Post # 9
@mattsgirl813: I know that’s what they tell you, but I had 5 BMs in 4 states who ordered their dresses at 5 different times and they all ended up carbon copies of each other. I’m just wondering if maybe you’ve been worrying her half to death about this wedding and she’s just kind of over it right now and needs a break