Post # 1
I have browsed frequently on here, but never made an account.. why? i dont know lol.
Anywhoo.. i am so sad! upset even..
I have this really close friend. weve been friends for about 7 years now. I got pregnant with my daughter and two months later she became pregnant with her daughter, exciting! this definitely brought us closer!! She ended up choosing the same exact carseat and stroller combo that i did and the same exact bedding for her daugher. i was kind of weirded out, but not a big deal, never said anything… maybe she liked it that much! 🙂
she is in a relationship with my cousin. theyve been engaged for about 2 years but never planned their wedding because they still have relationship problems. i got engaged about 10 months ago and started to plan right away. i sent my invites out on june 20th. she sent me a text message on july 2 asking me when my bridal shower was.. i told her that it was on august 18th. and she texted me back saying that her and my cousin were planning a small wedding that day and decided to get married now. i was shocked because they are literally planning their wedding in 1 month but definitely excited and happy for her! after all, she is my friend!
4th of july comes around and she asks me what my colors were. i told her and she said ok that she just didnt want to do the same thing.. we laughed and went on about her wedding. she said she was going to have a backyard bbq type deal with only her moh and no bms since its very little time. soooo yesterday the subject of her came up with my aunt and i (her fiance’s mom) and she was telling me that my friend decided to have 8 bridesmaids and rent a big hall. my response: thats great! i knew she really didnt want the backyard bbq and i was excited she was able to do it the way she wanted to. btw her parents and his parents are paying for EVERYTHING. she has a min wage job and he has no job. then she gives me this look and proceeds to tell me that she wants to use the same exact colors as me! my aunt told her that she cannot use those colors as she knows they are mine (since she is marrying my cousin all of my family will obviously be at my wedding a month later) she said that she didnt know that they were my colors (which is a lie because i told her what they were.. black, white, and a hot pink as an accent color) she said that she will use a light pink instead though. i am actually still kind of mad at this. i feel like i worked my ass off allllll year to have my wedding the way i visioned and here she comes trying to take it all away 🙁 my family members will now come to my wedding saying that it looks like hers! i cant change my colors because i have already bought everything for it 🙁 i am so sad! at the same time i dont want to ruin her wedding and say anything to her. i guess im just tired of her taking all my ideas 🙁
Post # 3
Bottom line is: THIS SUCKS!
I am so sorry!
Honestly though it almost sounds to me like this girl has some sort of disorder…. obviously she can’t make her own decisions. Very sad. Feel bad for her and move on.
Also, there are a ton of weddings that had the same color pallet as mine, and they look NOTHING alike. Mine was Tiffany blue, Chocolate Brown, Sage Green and Cream… There are a lot of different ways to take that… some people OVERDO the color, and some DOWNPLAY the color.
There is plenty of ways to make sure yours still stands out!
Hope this makes you feel a tiny bit better!
Post # 4
@SweetartMD: thank you! this did make me feel a little better.. im just worried because im not sure how much detail i discussed with her about my wedding before i knew she was going to have her wedding. i just dont want her to make it look just like mine. my Fiance said the same thing, that i have a lot of extras or certain ways that im having it that will make it unique… i just hope hes right 🙁
Post # 5
You cant own a color scheme. Black, white, and pink have been at the majority of weddings I’ve been to, and all of them have been unique in their own ways. I rarely see brides do the same centerpieces or designs. Just limit what you tell anyone about your ideas and move on.
Post # 6
Meh, you know what I remember about weddings? How happy the couple is, not what color napkins they chose. Yes, its annoying that shes done this but I wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 7
It’s rude and weird, but it’s not a battle worth fighting. I agree that it sounds like she might have a disorder or something.
Post # 8
@ohmybears48: i know i cant own a color scheme, but when she was originally talking about her wedding before mine came up she had totally different colors than mine. and i feel like shes doing it on purpose. there are MANY different colors to choose from and being that ALL my family will be at her wedding then mine a month later then its obvious that it looks like i copied her. i just put so much effort into my wedding and to have someone come and completely take your vision and make it theirs for your own family to see really sucks 🙁
Post # 9
@ohmybears48: Agreed. Obviously the first order of business is to stop talking to her about your wedding, period. Then you should continue on planning as you were incorporating your unique ideas into the wedding. The wedding isn’t all about the colors – it’s how you use them. Just because she uses those colors doesn’t mean her centerpieces or ceremony decor, etc. are going to look anything like yours. Those to me are the things that differentiate the look of a wedding a lot more than the color. I based my color scheme off of Kim Kardashian’s but trust me, my wedding looked nothing like hers! LOL
Also, is she still planning the wedding for August 18 now that it’s been moved to a hall? If that’s the case then I really don’t see that you have anything to worry about with her designing an entire wedding in practically two months when the concept for the wedding keeps changing. No one will be comparing your weddings.
Post # 10
Keep your ideas secret!
If it makes you feel better, guests are not that observant. No one, I repeat, NO ONE, is going to be saying “Ugh, I’ve seen these colors before.” They are going to be there because they are happy to be celebrating with you. And cake.
Post # 11
@abirdword: yea i know its not a battle worth fighting, which is why i dont plan on saying anything to her… my feelings are just really hurt.. this really sucks 🙁
Post # 12
@from_Miss_to_Mrs: If people comment on the similiarites just say something like “yes I shared my scheme with her and she liked it” or “She and shared a lot of wedding ideas and this one she liked the best from me”
I’m kinda mean so I would find some nice round about way to let people know I had the color first.
Enjoy your day and your love. However, I would cool your jets around her. Be friendly but I wouldn’t share any more ideas with her concerning decorations, future parties for your children, et al.
I can just see her throwing the exact same BDAY party for her daughter your will throw for yours
Post # 13
Oh I am so sorry! It must be terribly upsetting!
All bride to bees know how much effort, time and care goes into planning a wedding.
I agree with sweetartMD about your friend/cousin in law to be has some serious problems. I thought people tend to grow out of them after high school!
I definately agree that similar colors can still yield totally different results! Even though you guys have similar colors, it may have a very different outcome.
I think it would be necessary to speak to her. Probably not alone… perhaps with that aunt or someone else to make sure she doesn’t lie through her teeth.
She’s going to become FAMILY and this sort thing may frequent more in the future with other things and events. Personally, I would choose to speak to her with certain members of the family. Not arguing or fighting…more like ‘I am a honestly upset that you chose my colors after I told you what they are. You told me you were asking because you didn’t want it to be same’.
I know you don’t want to disturb her wedding…but it really isn’t cool~ what she’s doing. If she must follow suit, perhaps you and the other can convince her to change the accent color.
Hang in there~ don’t let it get to you. I am sure your wedding will turn out to be superb~!!!! (I mean it’s not being planned in a month with rip off ideas!) xoxo
Post # 14
@star_dust: yea you are right. she actually moved it up a week. i just hope they look completely different. i guess i just worry because the colors are so bold and the pink really pops. idk 🙁
Post # 15
Besides the fact that you told her earlier and that you picked out the same bedding, why would you think that she was stealing your ideas?
If she is your friend and you two have no issues (like real friends shouldn’t), then consider it flattery. Weddings are not competitions, even if you feel she’s making it out to be.
Post # 16
lol wow I msut have been typing away for a while..with feelings! lol when I started to reply there was only 1 reply… after I posted mine, there’s 10 more! lol