Post # 1
Tonight i was told something in confidence and i am honestly shocked. I am a very good secret keeper and pride myself in doing so but this just blew me away, it was something very sensitive in nature. (i normally would not tell a soul but i was so surprised i feel like i have to talk to someone about it, i made a new account to keep her privacy) A close family member of FI told me that her and her DH have never… never, had sex. They have been together for 10 years and married for 6. I was so surprised, one because of the obvious information that had just been tossed at me, and two that she would feel comfortable enough to share this information with me which i am ever so greatful. I know it is a medical condition that makes it too painful for them to have sex, and i know its not terribly uncommon but its rarely talked about. I just never in a million years would have guessed that they had never had sex. They have even conceived a few times -via syringe- , sadly all ending in miscarriage. The reason i would even bother to bring it up is after struggling with this for years and thinking her and her husband would never be able to have sex, she’s been going to a physiotherapist and she is getting treatments to help stretch the muscles ‘down there’ and should be able to have sex shortly. for the FIRST time, she was so emotional and over joyed that this would be a possibility after so much failed treatment to help cure her. I felt the need to share her story with other Bee’s incase someone else out there was suffering in silence, I could just feel the weight fall off her as she told me, i apparently was the first person she has told. I was so saddened for her and over joyed at the same time. Has anyone else ever had this condition and got over it? I would love to tell her some positive stories of people who got better. Thanks for being my listening ear bee’s i really appreciate it!
Post # 3
Vaginismus, is what I’m guessing she’s referring to. So glad she’s getting treatment that will hopefully make things better for her 🙂
Post # 4
Wow! I hope everything works out for them.
Post # 5
@Pearberry: Awe me too! They are the strongest couple, and they deserve the best!
@SapphireSun: Thanks you! I could not remember the name she had told me~!
Post # 6
- Wedding: December 2012 - Hacienda los Agaves
Wow, how sad they’ve gone through this. i’m so glad she’s getting treatment, hopefully everything will work out.
Post # 7
I’m getting better! 🙂
Its not too terribly uncommon, but you are right–rarely spoken of. Many women have it from the get go of trying to have sex ( usually from a religious upbringing or past trauma)
Others, like me, can have sex fine for years then wham! it doesnt work any more. It takes time and dedication, but it can improve.
Please tell her that she isn’t alone, and direct her to the bee for support if need be. There are probably many posts on the topic if you use the search function
Post # 8
really??! Out of nowhere, that’s a scary thought
Post # 9
I really, really hope this new treatment works for her. What a difficult thing to have to work through.
Post # 10
@sunnywoods: I’ve had guesses to the cause of mine, but never 100% sure on them.
I had been assaulted years before when I was still a virgin, but my SO and I had good sex after that just fine for a longgg time. So although a history of sexual assault is a common cause for many, I’m doubtful of it having much of an impact in my scenario.
More likely, I think, is that I had a series of 4 or 5 really painful UTIs in a row. I avoided sex for a while because if it and it started shortly after that.