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obnoxious as it may be, I think different shoes stick out terribly with tea length dresses. the shoes are such a huge part of the overall look.
Well.. I was in a friends wedding this past summer and didn't mind paying for the matching shoes since she was pretty reasonable with the dresses (they were $100) so it was okay. I suppose it all comes down to expense.
I know that I personally would not use gold matte shoes again. (I've never had a gold pair of shoes in all my life) but if they're something really cute that they could wear with maybe a cute black dress, white, something else, then maybe I would be okay with it if *I* were in your wedding (Pick me! Pick me!) but if you wanted me to pay another $75 for shoes I'm never going to wear again after spending $200 for a dress.... I wouldn't be a happy camper.
Let us know what you decide. :)
my dresses are chocolate brown tea-length too, and i'm letting them choose their own shoes as long as they're metallic. then again, i'm also letting them choose their own dresses (i just chose the color and fabric), so they're not going to be matchy-matchy at all. it really depends on your bridal party though -- mine happen to be 6 completely different girls (in many different ways) so pleasing everyone is close to impossible, and it wouldn't make me happy if they weren't comfortable.
I'm one that is very particular about matchy-matchy for something like this so I would say get the same one especially since it is a tea-length dress.
I like matching shoes especially since it is a tea length dress. Everyone's taste and sense of style is different so what one bridesmaid might love as a shoe (and fit your cdefined riteria) might not be a shoe that you like at all - which in the end might stick out like a sore thumb when you get the pictures back.
I vote for matching.
I would also vote for matching shoes. I've seen some pictures where the shoes didn't match and unfortunately it was noticeable. But honestly who will notice their shoes when all eyes are on you!
I guess I'm kind of the odd one out, well sort of. While I don't think I'm going to have them all wear the same exact shoe, I'm looking online to find a couple different styles that wouldn't look totally different from one another, but do have subtle differences. A couple Gold options, but one is a strappy sandal while the other is just a slide, because I know I have BMs who prefer both. That way its not a free-for-all with some having some outrageously glittery shoes, but they can wear shoes that are comfortable and cute.
I'm of the mindset that you should not pick out an adult's shoes...no matter what.
I had 10 bridesmaids (yes, 10...) for my Saturday night NYC Black Tie optional wedding, with tea length dresses and I let them pick their own shoes. Some were satin (shiny), some matte, one even patent leather. You know what - they all looked great (even the one who wore shoes that were so NOT my taste), and more importantly, felt comfortable. I think my pics refelect that they were happy, not that they didn't match exactly. I like a little of your 'maids personal style to shine through...you love them for who they are, after all!
my bridesmaids wore espresso knee-length dresses (they were tea-length and we had them shortened), and i also gave them custom pearls. i told them they could pick their own shoes, as long as they were espresso and strappy. they passed ideas back and forth and even though they all chose different shoes, the overall look was still great. no one looks at your shoes, and because they stuck to a similar theme, it didn't look weird at all.
it bothered me enough forcing them to pay $160 for the same dress, plus having been a bridesmaid i know how uncomfortable the shoes could be. it ended up much better b/c they all had shoes they loved and could be cost-effective for each of them. i had made them flip-flops and b/c they all chose comfy shoes, they didn't even need to wear them.
one of the few "shoe" pics: http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v169/129/27/4803325/n4803325_31712540_5286.jpg
in color: http://cmu.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=31712541&id=4803325
My girls are all wearing dresses in the same color and material but different styles - I worked really hard to find them dresses that they each felt comfortable in (not everyone wears halters!) that were <$100 and easy to get (Nordstrom). At first I was going to let them get their own shoes but then I decided, because the dresses are short, and different, I would like the same shoes to keep things congruent. I normally would agree with cab07 (I generally don't think you should pick out another adult's clothing or shoes!) but when I told my bm's that I had picked shoes, they let out huge sighs of relief. There were grateful that I had done it, saving them the worry of picking something appropriate
on their own. It helped that I looked long and hard to find shoes that are really comfortable, pretty, rewearable, and less than $25!!
As someone who loves shoes, but who also has a hard time finding comfortable shoes, I say let them pick their own shoes. So what if they don't match? No one will care. If you're worried about the pictures, ask the photographer to not show the shoes that much.
Ugly shoes that do not match will not spoil your wedding for you or anyone else. But if one or more of your bridesmaids is in agony the entire evening because her shoes are killing her, you may have lovely pictures, but she, your friend, will have a miserable time.
I agree with cab07. I have 6 girls and just picked the color and length of their dresses. I'd like them to pick their own jewlery and shoes because I feel that they should have a chance to let their personal preferences shine too. If someone decides to wear patent leather flats, who am I to stop them! As long as they're comfortable and having fun. I don't need the added pressure of picking another thing and trying to get them all to agree and buy them at the same time.
I don't like, or see the need for matching shoes.
If you are picking the colour, that's more than enough IMO. I love buying shoes, but I like picking my own - I don't want to spend money on shoes I don't like, aren't comfy, aren't my style, etc. Odds are, the ones you pick won't fill all of the above shoe-needs for all of your bridesmaids.
Let them pick their own shoes!!!
I'm also having a formal wedding, with tea-length BM dresses. I requested silver shoes, and couldn't care less whether they are matte/glossy/strappy/pumps. As long as they like them. Non-matching BM shoes doesn't make it any less formal, it only makes them less like clone machines, and allows a little bit of their style and individuality to show, since they are wearing the same dress.
I've been a matchy-matchy bridesmaid before and shoes that were comfortable for one girl were pretty uncomfortable for me, and I wear heels all day most days and have no foot problems or weird sizing. No matter how hard you try, it's hard to pick a dress that everyone will wear again. The shoes are a little easier to match up with other outfits so I think they'd appreciate the choice.
Mon_Cheri_Dress.jpg (64.1 KB, 216 downloads) 3 years old
To update my previous post...here's a pic of our bridal party where you can see their shoes.
All diff. shoes - and all diff. dress styles (I picked the designer, color and length). I think it's still a very cohesive style. We also let all the guys wear their own tuxes since most of them owned them...we just bought them the shirts and ties. In all honesty - I don't think anyone noticed.
As a side note - 2 of my 10 bridesmaids were upset that I gave them the freedom to pick their own dress style and shoes...so you can never please everyone! 
i know this is an old post - but i totally agree with cab07!
i've had to (grudgingly) wear totally uncomfortable matchy matchy shoes and dropped them off at goodwill the day after (and after spending $120 for the shoes - same with the dress, after spending $250 on the frock)
IMO - your friends dont come out of a pringles container - why make them look like it??
As a bridesmaid previously, I appreciated the bride letting us pick out our own shoes - our dress was also tea length so she just said nude/beige sandals.
For my own bridesmaids, since the dress was long, I had no preference and told them to wear whatever was most comfortable for them.
I have been debating about this too...Originally I was going to let them pick their own dresses, but I found a dress I LOVE and looks good on all 3 girls who tried it, and matches my dress really well. It is the following dress in this color but knee length:
MY BMs that I went shopping think that it would be really cute to have them wear shoes in my other color, which is a fuschia/pink. I like this idea, but am not sure what to do because I want to be wary of costs, so really don't want to force them to buy certain shoes. But I am also worried about the variation in the shade of pink if I let them pick their own.
Any thoughts???
@rebecca: I'm having mismatched chocolotate brown dresses too! but I'm doing taupe shoes. they can pick the style
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We are having an August, black tie wedding. My 9 bridesmaids are wearing tea length chocolate brown organza dresses. I bought them all matching pearl necklaces that are gold, ivory, brown, mocha colored. I am having them wear strappy gold matte sandals (NOT SHINY!), however I am debating whether or not to have them pick their own or all buy the same pair. I don't want them to look like clones, but I wonder how it will look in pictures since the dresses do not go to the floor and the shoes will be seen. Any opinions? Thank you : )
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