(Closed) Short vs. very long engagement ???

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  Hi!

  I got engaged on August 14, 2010, and we have set our date for June 23rd, 2012, giving us almost a two year engagement. We had a long engagement because of my FI being in grad school. However, I absolutely love having all of this time. I have friends who have had 7 and 9 month engagements. They were so rushed, getting everything together, struggling to find vendors.

  For us, we were able to get our first choice for our reception venue and a top choice for a wedding photographer (we had two that were neck and neck, but one had already booked our date). We have more time to pay off things, more time to really research what we want.

  If you aren’t as selective on things, or if you’re really set on October, then I would say go for the earlier time. For me, it worked better to have more time. On a side note, I would have loved an October wedding, but with being a teacher, it makes more sense for me to have it in the summer :-).

Post # 4
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Our engagement will be 2.5 years when we get married.  I don’t have any stresses and know that I don’t HAVE to plan if I don’t feel like it.  If I’m in a mood to do something, I will, if not…eh..I’ll get to it later.  I don’t see how a longer engagement could be stressfull.  I’d be more stressed trying to get everything done in 10 months. A longer engagement is also a lot easier on the wallet.  We are taking our time paying for things and when we do need to make a payment, it’s not a big deal.  We also get our top choices of vendors because fewer people book this far out.

Post # 5
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Demarca11:We got engaged in May 2010 and our wedding is August 2011, so it will end up being a 15 month engagement… At first I was super impaitent and I was wishing that we had picked a date that was not so far away, however, I have quickly figured out that we have saved so much money having a longer engagement and I have not been stressed one bit. We were able to have time to research vendors AND lock in 2010 pricing. Since we were so early, we were able to dictate the date to the vendor, not the vendor telling us what dates they have open. 

Post # 6
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I say get it over with if you can.  Im having a 2.5 year engagement and I dont find anything particularly appealing about it.  I really dont think you need over a year and a half to plan a wedding unless there are extenuating circumstances. 

But that;s just me.  There are many many bees here engaged for 1.5-2 years who really enjoy it.

Post # 7
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My DH and I were engaged April 2010 and married September 2010 (making it a 5.5 month engagement).  I LOVED the length of our engagement!! It was long enough that I had enough time to plan everything, but not too long to where it was drawn out or overly stressful.  I was also able to get all the venues, photographers, etc. that we wanted. 

Post # 8
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We got engaged mid December and have a venue on hold for October 29, 2011!  We’re planning on putting our deposit down next week when the owner gets back in town.  We will have just over 10 months from engagement to wedding day and right now I feel like I’m playing catch up but we just didn’t want to do Nov-April and we didn’t want to wait until the following spring/summer!  

Post # 9
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think quicker is better.  We got engaged Oct 9, and married July 9.  We didn’t always get our first choice vendors, but it’s just great to be married!

Post # 10
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it totally depends on how long you guys have been dating.  My FI and I were only dating about a year before we got engaged so a long engagement was perfect for us and allowed us to move in together and really cherish being engaged as an entire step in itself, not something all about planning a wedding.  We took a long time to take little weekend trips and explore venues and now we’re finally moving into the nitty gritty of planning.  That said, I was kind of bummed in the beginning to have the wedding so far away but now I’m really glad it was.  If you guys have been dating for a while, then I would say it’s not as big of a deal to plan quickly.

That said, it sounds like you have a lot of reasons to get married in May but really only one reason to get married in Oct (that it’s closer).  In the end, it’s only 7 months, which will be nothing when it’s all said and done.  I would say based on that alone, go for May!  Hope that helps!

Post # 11
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Catalina Country Club, Catalina Island, California

I had a 15 month engagement and it was too long. I say 10 months would be perfect. There is plenty of time to get things done and not enough time to have time wasted!

Post # 12
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

Short all the way! 🙂 so exciting and fun! plus we are waiting to live together until we are married so we can’t wait a year… or more… yikes! We would go crazy!

Post # 13
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I vote for short…I just want to be married! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

we were in your shoes – but different circumstances. i have a brother in the marine corps and it was really important for me to have him at my wedding. FI and I got engaged in July of this year…my brother leaves late feb/early march for afghanistan so we had to make a decision..plan a wedding (in what was 5 months when we finally picked a date) or wait until he gets back which would be october/november of 2011…neither of us wanted to wait that long so we jumped the gun and started planning. a little over a month to go!

it really is a peronsal choice – i could have def done with some more time to plan but then again i couldnt imagine having to wait another 8-10 months from now.

Post # 16
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I got engaged August 20, 2010 and am getting married April 3, 2011.  That’s 7 and a half months, which is PLENTY long for me.  Like you, I used to be an event planner and had 70% of the wedding planned in the first 6 weeks of the engagement. I didn’t have any trouble finding vendors, either (I’m getting married on a Sunday in the off-season, though.) The only positive I can think of for a long engagement is saving money.  The only stressful part of my engagement is coming up with the money to pay for everything in a somewhat short period of time.  Other than that, though, it hasn’t been stressful at all.

Also like you, I’m incredibly impatient and would NEVER be able to wait over a year to get married.  Just wouldn’t happen.  I say go short.  

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