Should a 7:30pm wedding mostly solve the No Kids policy?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No, because anyone who would bully you into inviting their kids probably doesn’t give a shit about a bedtime either. 

ETA: I would just be firm about your policy. You have to be blunt with people like that; they don’t understand anything else. And even then, it’s iffy.

Post # 4
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@lh526:  +1 

I didn’t want to say it. People who aren’t ok with being asked to leave their kids at home can be relentless. 

Post # 6
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lh526:  +1


I wouldn’t assume – make the no kids thing clear. Use the late hour as part of your reasoning if you want to, but definitely don’t leave the decision in the hands of the parents.

Post # 7
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

no.. one of two things will happen. 1. The parents won’t even come. You may or may not be okay with that. and 2. They will still bring their kid and it will be past their bed time and they will be tired and grumpy—therefore doing exactly what you don’t want them to do.

Post # 8
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Our ceremony started at 7 and we still had people trying to bring their toddlers. Bonus, your ceremony takes place exactly when they are starting to get tired/cranky.

Post # 10
3813 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Yeah, as previous posters have said, for the most part people expect weddings to last all through the evening, and people expect to bring their kids.  Don’t assume that the late start will be enough, make sure you specifically say no kids or adults only event!

Post # 13
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@mousepeach:  My ceremony starts at the exact same time and I thought the same thing! It would be close enough to “bed time” that parents wouldn’t try to bully their kids there.

Well I was WRONG about that. FSIL already gave me an earful about how cute it would be for her three bouncing, screaming, picky eaters to be at our wedding (did I mention that they stick their fingers in EVERYTHING?) and that I would seriously regret not having children at the event and that she’s really upset that her children won’t be there. Oh and all this came up when my other FBIL (FI has two brothers with kids) mentioned that he already had a babysitter lined up for both Friday and Saturday night for all the kids (he’s totally on board with no kids).

Needless to say, I just said “Sorry, I understand your point of view, however, with the late start time, I think it wouldn’t be appropriate.” and left it at that. Luckily FMIL and FBIL stepped in and handled the rest conversation for me. I hope you don’t have to deal with any of that!

So if I were you, I’d definitely state somewhere (technically it’s supposed to be word of mouth, but I’m putting it on the reception cards) that it’s adults only – don’t assume because of the late time that people will automatically know “no kids”. And be prepared for some push back – but stand your ground!

Post # 14
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mousepeach:  I think another Bee did that and one of the guests called the venue to complain and found out it wasn’t actually policy. Awkward.

Post # 15
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Unfortunately, some parents have no issue with forcing their children to attend events that run late into the evening even though they know the kids are going to end up miserable burdens before the end of the evening.  If you want an adults only reception, just say so.  Yes, some people think it’s awful to refuse to accommodate children but again it’s typically those parents that want to drag their kids along that do not make their children behave in public.

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