(Closed) Should a bridesmaid tell the bride her wedding concerns?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would figure out a way to work  it into the conversation. I suspect dinner will be longer than 45 minutes. And you need to allow time for transitions between activities like the ceremony and dinner. If pictures are done before or after you get on the yacht then that will help with the timing, but I still don’t think you can fit everything into 3 hours.

Personally, I’m getting married and haven’t been to a lot of weddings. So I didn’t really have a feel for a lot of the details (like timing) until after I had done a lot of research. If someone pointed out to me that I didn’t have time for everything I might be a little upset at first, but thats better than being at my wedding and not having time for my first dance.

Post # 4
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This is tricky, but I do think that you should tell her your concerns. Not sure if she’s an emotional person or not, so you may want to bring it up gently. Maybe tell her that you were reading a post or article on day of wedding timelines and make some helpful suggestions like having a first look and getting the pics over with prior to boarding the yacht, etc. You really seem like you have her best interests at heart, so as long as you make that clear to her I think you will be ok. 

Post # 5
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would say something to her about it. I’m sure the thought has already crossed her mind. I know a few people who had a destination wedding and they had everyone go to the resort disco/club for the reception/dancing part. Maybe she can do the ceremony, dinner, photos and first dance only on the yacht then have the guest dancing back at the resort club. Pretty much every resort (that I’ve been to) has a club of some sort.

Post # 6
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wasn’t going to say anything, but my FI was reading this over my shoulder and strongly urged me to post.

He feels, as do I, that you should at least let your concerns be known; and as other Bees have said, suggest alternative options. While the yacht may be amazing, it definitely needs to be longer than 3 hours to be memorable for more than “it ended so early”.

Post # 7
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would probably say something. The last dw I attended the bride sent me a link to be website and the awesome deal she was getting… All inclusive for $2000!!  But the way I read the details it seemed like just renting the SPACE was $2000. I decided to let it go and unfortunately I was correct and she didn’t realize until 2 weeks before the wedding that she couldn’t afford it and had to completely rebook everything. 

Post # 8
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

ONe thing I would hate about my wedding is being rushed through the entire thing, and and all of my guests telling me how short it was and how they never got to finish their meal. Definately tell her. Anything concerning the ceremony and the best interests of the wedding party and guests definately needs to be brought to her attention.

Post # 9
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

 I would definitely talk to her.  I think she is not seeing clearly how her wedding will end up being in 3 hours…..have you had any friends get married recently?  ask them about their ACTUAL timeline at their venue (not the predicted one)….

It might open her eyes with how much longer she needs…..

Post # 10
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

also, with 3 hours, is that when the DJ, caterer and others get set up?  that will cut into her time as well.  DJ’s need set up time as do caterers….

Post # 11
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I run these sorts of things by my MOH because I really like having another perspective.  I think “Sure we can do all this in 20 minutes” and she looks at me like I am insane and says “No, you can’t.  It will take 10 minutes to prep, 10 minutes to do and at least another 10 before blah blah.”  It sucks but it’s realistic and that’s what I need.

Invite her over for some wine and dinner and just at the table say “Look Sally, I’m really worried about your wedding timeline.  I don’t want to be all up your ass about it but I think that 3 hours is really unrealistic.  What if your ceremony runs late?  What about time to set up and decorate and clean up after?  When are you going to fit in time for photos?  I think that the idea is great but you just need more time–the only thing people are going to remember about your wedding is how short it was.  Most venue rentals are for 10 hours at the least!  Most weddings, from start to finish, are about 6 hours long.  I’m not asking you to do anything but think about this.  I know you want to do this but if you can’t swing at least 3 more hours, I think you’re really going to regret this.”

Post # 13
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee

hmm, i agree it is probably going to be rushed (especially with a full dinner) I am a firm believer in the “keep my mouth shut unless it results in disaster” rule, this one could boarder on disaster. I say bring it up gently, and if you think she is going to be upset about it try the “I really want you to enjoy your ceremony and not feel rushed, let me help make a time line” kind of way

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